Sunday, November 4, 2012

The imperfections of others - our view

My friend, SB posted a wise  saying by the Holy Dalai Lama on the FB and I wanted to share with you in my blog.  He said that “ If we blame all the mistakes on others, then we will suffer “.  It is abit tricky here. Why are we suffering if we did no wrong ? We are the perfect ones and we should be happy and loud to others. Isn’t this logcal ?  No, this perception is wrong.

In the book “ chasing daylight , the author was the former CEO of KPMG International  and he died of Cancer and before he die, he wrote a book about his experience and insight into his last days in life. In one of his book’s chapter, he talk about perfection. During his tenure as the CEO, he was a perfectionist and he dislikes inefficiencies and sloppy work. When he was warded at the hospital, he was make to wait for treatment , the staff were slow to attending the patients , the paper work were plentiful , the procedures were complicated and many other irritating imperfections which he feel unhappy about. Suddenly, he could see so much imperfections and he has to learn to accept it and make himself happy and relax.  He realized that he cannot change the world and have to learn to live in it.

The message by Dalai Lama is more than just making you accept imperfection or mistakes of others. Everyone of us is inter-linked or inter-connected and any mistakes done by others is also partly due to our faults. Why is it so ? Most of the  cases, we contribute to it or in other cases, we also did mistakes. It is very usual to look outside to find the mistakes of others but we don’t look inwards to see how we have contributed to the mistakes.

If we point a finger at others , three fingers is pointing at us.  You can try it out and look at your fingers and you will realized that it is true.

This morning while I am driving out for breakfast with my wife,  there were so many cars parking on both sides of the road and I curse and blame all these people for making the road so narrow. I think that they are very selfish and stupid.  But, I look around for a proper parking place but I could not find one and I have walk some distance to eat my breakfast. I realized that it is the poor enforcement and bad planning of the developer for that housing project. In order to eat breakfast in the most convenient location, I also double park  and rush to eat my breakfast. Many a times, I  did what others are doing but we are not wrong and others are stupid and we are clever.  In fact, we are the selfish person, who do not help to improve the situation but just to blame others for the mistakes which make us suffer.

To live without accepting imperfections and the mistakes of others  will in fact make us angry and agitated. In most of the cases, we are in no position to provide the solution and if we are unhappy and agitated , it is our choice and  if we start to scold  people for the imperfections, we will become even more miserable and unpopular. If we are unhappy, we will affect our love ones and the harmony in our home and our office.

Learn to understand more about others and yourself and make harmony with your surroundings.  Nobody is perfect and if when others are imperfect, we have to accept it because there could be reasons that we don’t know and if we do mistakes, we have to acknowledge it and accept it and hope others will be kind to us.  This harmony within one self is very important to relieve us from the daily frustration in life and to remain in a happy mood.

After realizing this wisdom and insight and accepting this wise saying, you will achieve a higher level of  enlightenment.

Amitabha

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