Thursday, April 27, 2017

The evil thoughts

We are not perfect human beings. We have weakness and strength and our thinking keep shifting from the positive side to the negative side.  Back and forth and cannot be so easily controlled unless you have a trained mind.  The training of our mind will take ages for some but easily for the selected few.

Yeah, we have anger, we have jealousy , we have hatred , we have evil thoughts and so much negativities at times . These arises from the demon within us.  The dark thoughts and pit black evilness in us.  In our mind, we have killed many foes and harbor vicious deeds which is buried very deep in us.  This is inevitable as we are just layman human beings.

There are also evils among the angels. Even there are evils among priest , monks and the ulamas.  A sheep in the wolves' skin.  There are those two faces bastards  which can caused a lot of harm to people.  These are illusions and the victims are blind to their thoughts.  Even a man is looking at a women, there are desire to abuse them but on the surface , they behave like perfect gentlemen.

One of my lady friend told me that man is controlled by their bottom half.  That means man is always thinking of making love to a women while looking gentlemanly.  The act and the thoughts are different , so this type of people is very dangerous. Women cannot be too trusting and have to aware of this dirty thoughts in man.

In one of the survey on the number of access to porns  sites in Malaysia.  Trengganu was the top.  It is supposed to be one of the most religious states in Malaysia.  Many be it is too tranquil and peaceful and the only thing is to make love  and the dirty thoughts of making love every time.

I am not a racist or a perfectionist and as ordinary human being such thoughts do come across my mind but the instances could be less.  We have to keep it under control and remained as a passing thought.

Namaste.

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

light a candle


Yeah , I saw this wisdom in the FB .  We cannot fight darkness with darkness , so we have to light a candle if we face darkness.  In our life, we cannot have everyday a sunny day and there is bound to up and downs in our life.  When we are down, we are gloomy , upset and our mind is filled with darkness. How can we light a candle in our mind ?

When we are down, we think of good things or good thoughts , we must be blissful and humble. We must be positive. We are not down 365 days a year or we are alive most of the days and why let one day let it down all. Feel blessed and look at the bright side of things. 

There was a man who complained a lot of not having a good pair of shoes until one day, he saw a legless man trying to walk on the pavement .  He was so happy to be a life and still able to move around with his hands.

Bless the day , the hours ,the minutes and seconds .  You are having the moment and doing the things you wanted and don't let  a little big of imperfection ruin your day.  Life is what you make it and 90% of how you take it.  It is within your ability to turnaround your mood for the day.

Everyday , there so many people loaded their life with garbage and waiting to pour their garbage onto another person.  We have to aware the impact of people close to us which could load us with their garbage and make our life full of shit and unhappy.

Be aware and be cautious of this fact , then we will be happy most of the time when we know how take it. 

Namaste.

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Lurking dangers.

In our life, we encountered a lot of danger and the risk increases with our age. As we aged, the dangers gets more intense or the risk gets higher.  It is logical, our physical functions are getting weaker that is all.  Our eyes getting blur , our movement getting slow, our legs getting weaker, our memory less sharper , our hearing gets worst , our tone getting softer , everything gets weaker and softer. Time and age gets us..

With these lesser functions, the risk of dangers will intensify and we get hurt or injured more easily. The dangers which are lurking around involved falling down as the leg give way, the aged gets knock down by people or vehicles if our moment gets slower. It is only natural.

Exercise. Yes, exercise will help. It helps to slow down the aging and give us more strength to live longer. But, we over exercise, it could have the adverse effect.  So, we have to be aware and remained cautious.  Old people have died on badminton courts or while jogging or hiking. We have to know and be aware of our strength the weakness as not to get hurt on the way.

One of my friend dropped by and asked me whether to sell his house and move to a service apartment as his two sons are in UK and his wife often join the sons there.  I told him that many of my friends have being doing that ie sell the house and move into a small upper apartment to enjoy the security and to avoid house works. Yes, many of my friends who have been living in big houses have sold their house and move to a small gated and guarded apartment while they travel overseas to see their daughter or son.  It is for security and safety. To live in a big house alone  is nonsensical unless you have a few maids to take care.  Why do we need such big spaces for only ourselves ? It is so wasteful and lonely. What we need is comfort and sufficient space for us to live in and minimize the dangers of living alone unguarded.

Yes, we live the best we can but we should be logical in our requirement and minimizing the dangers which is lurking around.

Namaste.

Monday, April 17, 2017

Flickering mind

So many thoughts go through my head ... how many ?  Estimated an average of 50,000 thoughts in one day.  Our minds are shifting in and out of our head and make us tired and confused.  So much energy is used  and our life becomes edgy and confused.  50,000 would need a Big data software to filter through.  Huge mass of data , many repeating , moving in half way or anyway.

How can our life be still ?  It always moving and muddy. If we still our mind, the dust or dirt  in the water will settle and the water will be still and clean. If you stir it again, it will become muddy and our mind will be confused and our life muddy.

You throw a stone in the water will be full of ripples and if you continued to through the stones into it continuously, the ripples will become a wave and if more, it will become a storm. So, if we control the size of the stones or the frequency of the stones being throw into the water, the lesser will be the ripple and the mind may become clearer.

In a philosophy class, a professor asked the students to pour half the water into their glass . It is not the question of half full or half empty but hold their glass up with their hands. He told the students to look at the glass whether it is still or not.   The longer , the student hold the glass , the water becomes more shaky.. The professor told the students that the mind behaves like the glass of water. It will never be still as long as we hold it .  If we continued to hold it, our hands will shaky and will also cause the water to be shaky.  Put it on the table and the water will be still and the water will be clear. In life , how do we put our mind on the table to make it still ? It is to let go. Let go of our ego, let go of everything in our mind which caused us to hold up the glass. If we have nothing , then our mind will be clear in the end. If our mind is clear, we will be blissful and happy.  Just imagine , one single thought a day, it will transform yourselves into a youthful self , light self which can caused you to fly.. You will start to believe that you can fly without all the burdens in your life instead of loading yourself with all the wasteful things and thinking.

Let it go , let it go and let it go. Have a single thought a day.

Namaste.

One day at a time

Can we think further than one day ?  Yes, of course, this is our daily wishful thinking. Our hope and our wish .  We expect to wake up and face the future if nothing goes wrong.  Here there is a certain amount of uncertainties and that is the word "if ". Usually, we are always right if we are in our youth or strong and healthy.  Despite that , there is still an element of uncertainty of us not waking up. The chance is less when we are young but increases with the age.

As age catches up, we are in a struggle with ourselves to be in good shape and handle the assignments for that day.  Sometimes ,we fall sick and have to live through the day or sit ourselves out, waiting for fight another day.

In other cases, we just die and let go of everything.  But, why do we wait for the days to happen and start to live.  Whatever it is going to happen or not , come what may, we should live and really live and thinking that tomorrow will never come.  This is really living.

Do what we want and come what may or say what may ... If you are happy by all means do whatever you want to do and passionate about it. Don't think too far ahead but just live for the day or for the moment.

Another way to live our life is to be thankful for being able to wake up, be thankful for having the chance to brush our teeth, have our breakfast and doing the things we want to do without any hindrance. Even if we feel the pain of waking up or walking to the bedroom, we have to fight the feelings and do what we want to do for the day. Don't let the pain or discomfort to prevent us from living. 

Once , I was walking with a limp as I have ghout on one leg, I was dragging my feet and feeling painful. One of my friend saw me and give me a pain killer and my pain was relieved and I feel good after that.  He advised me , why do you need to bear with the pain  and feeling miserable ? One pain killer would not kill you now or tomorrow.  Immediately , I realized the foolishness of not taking the pain killer.  Of course , I do not want to take pain killer to risk hurting my kidney but does it really matter. You are living now rather than thinking of living longer into the future.  Be wise and be aware.

Namaste.

Friday, April 14, 2017

At a certain point

Everything have a limit.  Time will tell.  When we eat , our stomach will tell us it is enough and if we continue to ignore and eat , we will be sick or we will vomit. If we do exercise, we can run or lift or climb , when it is enough our muscles will tell us to stop or we get exhausted.  If we continue , we will suffer muscle cramp or torn muscles.  This is real, everything , there is a limit at a certain point.

The limit varies with each individual and we should be aware of our limits so as not to hurt ourselves. The body will sent us the alarm and we only need to listen to it and be cautious.

Working is also the same.  Time is the master and we have to pace ourselves as we grow old.  Of course, we want to defy age but we are bluffing ourselves if we do. Physically and mentally, there is a limit and the limit gets tighter and tighter as we age. We can delay it but we cannot defeat it. Some people die young , some older and in the end , all of us must go. Even, some at a ripe age of 99 or 100 or beyond but we have to go.

Aging is silent and dangerous.  It could just break you at a certain time. It is either the heart , stroke , cancer or a combination of several factors or it could be an accident. Now, there is so many cases of old people be killed by speeding motorbikes.  It could be the reckless driving or carelessness of the old people or a combination of both.   It is fated or the time have come at a certain point.

Just be aware and it comes with great realizations.

Namaste

Monday, April 10, 2017

Fear

We cannot see the future or the result of our actions , that is the main reason for fear.  The feeling is a limitation in our ability to perform or to do something out of the norm.  We rather follow then to lead or living in a comfort zone rather than wonder outside.  The danger and uncertainty is too much for us to bear. This is the main reason to fear.

If we break our fear, we will move the limit of our boundary... an inch or a big step depends on our conquering our own fear. Just like the fear of height ... we stay 10 feet away from the edge and each step we move forward, we are actually expanding our boundary or border of overcoming the fear of height.   This is as simple as that.

We choose to live in a comfort zone , where we know that no danger will come to us.  So we move in circles or in a routine mostly following the paths which people have travelled , rather than to walk through the roads less travelled.  We should break this mental constrain or limit , push and breakthrough.  For a couple to show the liking for each other also takes a courage.  If both parties does not , make the first attempt , the relationship will never get started.  Little by little, each partner takes a small steps.  Introducing each other, start to take small walls or start small chats , start to hold hands, go for longer walks and until the first step of expressing the love for each other until the first kiss and finally getting married , takes courage and there is when the relationship gets started.  If both partners to stay shy and not making the move, the relationship will just end. If you think about it, and start to visualize this movements, you can see the expansion of your vision and wisdom.

Take the first step to breakthrough , to do something different, to express your opinion or your love for another and do not fear to be rejected.  By fearing , you just lost the battle to start a new horizon and a new living.

Namaste.

Friday, April 7, 2017

Who am I ?

Who am I ?  why am I given a name ?  an existence ? I am actually nobody. I came into this world as nothing and I am going out of this world as nothing ?  Who make me what I am now or what I am not ?  Funny existence.

I was born knowing nothing for the 1st ten years, gaining knowledge and experience  during the next 10 years , getting a job in next ten years, enjoying a married life in the next ten years, building a family in the next ten years, making money in the next ten years, retiring in the next ten years and dying in the next ten years.  Who decide my path for me ?  Why is this existence created by the billions of people before me.  I am just a spark of dust in this big universe.

Why do human being created this path ? Should I be living without all these constrains ? Like what I like ? Doing what I enjoy ?  This stupid human race and this illusionary materialistic world .  Setting standards and benchmarks between people and deciding who is better .  What a stupid system.

Just live clean and plain as the end is the same. We do not carry anything with us when we are gone.  Vanished into thin air and leaving a useless presence, This memory will be erased in time and memory.

Is it so important to get buried , burn or shattered into the sea.   Does it matters ?  Done is gone and what is the need to keep a memory . It has no meaning .

This awareness in us and the consciousness in this matter make us realized it is nothing all the while.

Namaste.

I am tired

This is the second time that I am feeling tired to this level.  Once is about 35 years ago when I break up with my girlfriend and after that I feel very tired and unable to appreciate anything in life.  This is the second time and it brings back the feeling from the 1st time. I could not face my sick sister and after each time , I feel fully exhausted. I could be with her for 15 minutes or a few hours, the moment I leave her , I feel the strain in my body. I am exhausted.

It is the energy to get her focus to look at me or to identify me.  She will take peeps at me but her eyes will wonder around and I could sense that she is not focus.. She is a stranger to me for the past 90 days since she suffered a fall and hurt her brain.

The Doctors told us that she is stable now  ie her heart is stable and her brain is stable and no clot but the brain Doctor told us that he cannot understand why she is still in this condition.  He told me that the brain is a mysterious organ.  It can shut down or it can recover by itself without any indication.  What we can do it to wait and let the brain repair itself.   But , I asked the Doctor but the MRI did not show any injuries then why is it behaving like this.  His answer is negative. He just don't know.

This kind of explanation bothers me more and drain my spiritual strength  I am tired , very tired of waiting. Waiting for sleeping beauty to wake up. Did my sister eat a rotten apple or her soul just shattered from the fall.  How do I gather back the pieces and make her wake up.  I refused to think and I am considering to ask the unknown what I should do to bring back her broken soul together for her to join back the picture of her memory. She can just wake up know what has happen in the past and she can recognize all of us. 

This will be the happy ending. The silence is wearing me down.


Namaste.

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Doing nothing

There is a saying " doing nothing and expecting a different result is madness".  Yeah , this applies to my sister's condition. The Doctors have concluded that there is nothing more to do for my sister and it will depend on my sister's own effort to wake up or to recover her memory.   The Doctor told us that the mind is unpredictable and it could just snap and my sister can remember all her past . Yeah, I hopefully think so.  But , can time heal in her case.  I wonder .

I have hope to sent her to another doctor for a second opinion but my young sister & my sister's god-son says that I am too hurry to do something and we should just pay the money to the nurses to take care of her all day around and let my sister heal herself. Wow, by just paying the nursing fee and wait for two months before the next consultation to find out what is the next move , is this correct ? Or should we do something like getting a second opinion from another Doctor or refer her to a Chinese physician for an alternative treatment and not just leave the matter to my sister to wake or not .  This is doing something positive and pro-active.

I am worried that if we do not feed her through her mouth , he muscles would be lame and weak leaving her unable to eat from her mouth.  Hence, it is better to  move , and find out what is the reaction or if we move , we are initiating a change or a re-action rather than remained domain and wait.

Namaste.