Friday, February 5, 2016

Fading love

I was amazed that my daughter told me that she always give love moer than 100%. I told her not to be so hot headed and she should take care of herself more. I have seen her passing through her first love and how it fell apart. Love just vanished after a two to three years of countship. At the beginning, when love is in the air, we tend to ocver commit ourself to love and do silly things about it including sacrifying ourself. But, as times gets by , the true colors appear and when love turns sour and just vanished. All the sacrifice and the gift of love just gone. I saw her using her allowance to buy all the good things for her love and spending most of her free time with her love. Soon it gets less and less and finally, more and more arguements and faced off situations. These happenings must be very hurting but it went stale and finished off with tatters. Now, this is the second love and I find that she is going on the same as her first love. How she is committed to her first lvoe. I hav been telling her to take care of herself first and to have some reserves for herself instead of over extending her love. She is listening a little now after her first love but still spending so much time on her new found love. I know most of the time, it is she who is the first to give up on her love as she has a very strong character and is very outspoken. Most men could not like this character as men is a dominant creature and expects the female to follow from behind. I hope she will learn from each love and will mellow in time. I hope she will find a man that truly love her and support her in all her undertaking because I know that this type of man is very few and is a dinasaur. Well, this is her life and she has to go through to find out what she wants in her journey. There will be alot of pitfalls and she has to pull herself up and move on. LIfe is very difficult and I hope she knows it soonest possible. Namaste.

Thursday, February 4, 2016

Age & Sex

I was on the line with my banker friend and he told me that sex urge is getting less with age. It is like the heart wants but the body cannot do it. Yes, it is a fact that young married couples do it everyday in the first year, every alternate days in their later years, once in a wwek and degenerate into twice a month and then once amonth, once in two months and on and on until once in a blue moon. My friend was karate black belt exponent and he exercise frequently in the past and now ends with a pot belly and cannot do the flying kick anymore. This is the degeneration of the body and the mind. It is natural and gradual and we do not have to be shy about it. Finally, we need os medicine or drugs to life up us up to do the sex job but it is a personal choice. There is no compulsion on this decision. If you feel like it and cannot do it, just boost it up by a drug or medication. So , I wonder how to keep up our healthy body. Do we need sex to remain healthy and passionate ? Do a prolong sexless life hurt our healthy or make us more insensitive ? What about the monks ? They abstain from sex and does they release themselves once a while ? Is sex a necessary thing in life or for our healthy. There is a finding that regular sex makes us more relax and we feel better but no sex also give us the same feeling after some physical exercise or yoga or meditation. So the really need of sex is all mental or our mindset ? Then why do we have an organ which is so sensitive to touch or penetration ? Is sex is only for birth makeing ? The more we make love, the more chances of getting pregnant and is it the real reason ? So,if we don't want children that the organ become useless ? Can we use it for enjoyment instead of child making purpose. WHy so people are so frigid and some wants heavy sex ? It becomes a personal preference. Does a man or women without sex die faster or live longer ? There is fact and findings to support but again, it is personal. After living all these years, it is still a puzzle to me what is the purpose of sex. Some people needs it more , some less and some do need it at all. Just a passing thought. Namaste.

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Good people can become bad.

I was told from young that everyone is born good but circumstances, influence and wrong teaching can make a good man do bad things. I saw a TV show which two good cops which one was shot dead in action. Before his death, his partner came to know that his partner have some engagement with a drug deal because of his gambling debts. The circumstances of his owing money for gambling make him do something bad even he has been a good cop for many years. After he was shot dead, his partner have two choice. One is to tell the truth and that will spoilt his partner's name and reputation or he can keep quiet and tell the story that his partner die in the line of fire. He choose to keep the good name of his partner and was haunted by this lie for the whole of his remaining career in the police. Both of them are good cops and they have been deligent and capable in their job but circumstances have make them to bad things. To judge whether it is right or wrong, it is a difficult decision and it depends on the personal thinking or principle of each person. On the surface, it is wrong to tell a lie even if it is a white lie. But what is the consequences if by telling the truth, it brings more suffering and pain to the people close to the matter. By keeping quiet or telling a lie, it can have an happy ending. The lie did not caused harm to any people and is it wrong ? If telling the truth brings more pain and suffering. It is a difficult question and there is neither right or wrong in this situation. It depends on you and your thinking and judgement. Namaste.

Monday, February 1, 2016

Changing ourself

Changing is always difficult and we rescend to change. We are a comfortable animial and we stays in our comfort zone especially when it is over a long time. We become complacent and moving on to something new is a challenge. An unfamiliar situation. If you put a thing on a table for a long time, it leaves a mark on it and you will find pushing it along take much effort. If we plant a plant in a spot and over time , it will be come a tree. The longer you leave it there, the tree will be bigger and the roots will go deeper into the earth. If you want to go places, you have to move when it timely and change your mindset on complacency. The world is so big and it continue to evolve and changing. Be part of change before you become redundant. Change is more than changing your dressing or your habit, it involves your mindset. Sometimes, we just bluff ourself and pretend we have changed but in reality , the core or the mindset is still firmly attached within ourself. In event of an occurent or sudden happening, the fear will force us back to our old ways or mindset which we are comfortable with. This is a natural re=action. A real change is not like what has been mentioned, it is a new way to handle the matter facing the fear or the danger. It should be a case of substance over form. The form is only superficial or artificial but the core is substance. We have to change the substance and not the form. That is the real change. Namaste.

Thursday, January 28, 2016

The Monkey mind

Our thoughts are forever changing in and out of our mind. If we train our mind, it will be better and less exhausive thoughts making us restless and tired. Is a calm and trained mind, a good thing ? Everything have both sides to a coin, whatever good , there is also something bad. Having a calm and trained mind is not all good. If the water breaks the wall or in a moment of lapse, the impact and stress could be higher and more stressful than a mind which is always hitting the extreme. This brings me to Robin Sharma's advise that if we let our mind go beyond a limit, there is a new limit. IF we stress our mind to another level, the new level is our limit. This advise seems to hold water and if we break our limitation each time, our mind and body will be strong. But, if we keep within a limit by controlling ourselves , our limit will not expand but rather it will shrink. Is this true to everything including our mind ? Is a controlled mind better to control ourself or a controlled lead to more stress ? If protect it all the time, it will not grow. If we message our brain through the many thoughts make us stronger or a stronger mind. Based on the Buddhist teacvhing, to have a train and controlled mind help to to be aware of our emotions and control it before it becomes worst. I would rather believe this wisdom as it has evolved through thousand of years. A train and controlled mind is a reverse of going beyond another limit. Rather, training our mind to be stronger and calmer is a new limit rather letting our mind go to create another new limit. it is very stutle and you will realize it when you practice on it. The mind behaves differently , it does become stronger it you let it good but rather preventing it go wildly is another new limit. Namaste.

Sunday, January 24, 2016

Who say business is bad ?

It all dependence on quality, location, price and service. Tonight, I had a family dinner a coffee shop in Farlim and they service family dinner. It was packed and I was make to wait for 30 minutes. The place serves family dinner . The normal home cooked style. I would say that the place is packed with families with young children. My rating is that the food is reasonably good, the price is manageable as it depends on your orders, the placenis located among apartments and flats in the Farlim area and the food isnreasonably fast for such setup. About 15 people working at the kitchen and front desk. The boss is in command. The same boss have tried to expand to next door but failed after 6 months using another chef. Food and F&B line is very particular and the taste is very personal. I have told my friends that when services is concern, the business goes with the service F&B,'it is the chef , for climic, it depends on the doctor and for an accounting firm it goes with accountant or the consultant. It is very personal and there is no value to the business if these people are no more there . I have seen many examples of such failures. This is my advise to May that F&B is a very difficult business. Namaste.

Saturday, January 23, 2016

The traffic cowboys and girls

Thaipusam Yesterday, there was a news that a car plunged into a group of devotees walking to Batu cave to celebrate the holy festival of Thaipusam. The driver was a 24 years old salesman and have be driving recklessly before the accident . This reminds me of the driver for Karpal Singh who was under the influence of drugs before he got into an accident killing the famous lawyer. I have driving for many years and lately I could notice ,not only an increase in traffic on the road but the mentality of the drivers or motorbike riders. Nowadays , I could notice there are many cases of cars parking in the middle or corner of roads without driver while their vehicle occupied half the roads. I have also bike riders overtaking on the left or squeeze in between cars or not being tolerate to wait for your reversing . It is like the days of the Western where there is no law and order. Whatever way, as long as you prevail . Things are are changing for the worst for the behavior of the drivers and bike riders . Furthermore , there are considerable increase old aged drivers and riders, who are slow and clumsy . This is a fact that old people cannot respond properly and slow does not transform into safety on the road. Slow driving cannot transform into safety as other drivers and riders have no patience to wait and could end up with more accidents . I do not know what the transport ministry have done so far but whatever they have done is not enough to promote safety by changing the mindset of these " cowboy" drivers and riders . This is particularly dangerous in the heat of the day when temperature hit 40 degree C. The heat and the bad driving skill will caused more problems on the road . Namaste.