Today was the last day of the 9th Heavenly Emperor's festival and I decided to go to a vegetarian restuarant for my breakfast. Upon reaching there, there was a long line of customers waiting to pay for their breakfast and after choosing my food, I just join in the quene. After a while, a women complain that one old man did not quene. The old man try to explain but turn naggy. The man infront of me shouted at the old man to stop the nagging and the old man just say that he is not eating and just walk away. This incident prompted me to suggest some improvement in the cash collection arrangement and the owner responded without thinking and say that this is the best way and it is not easy.
In such holy festive timing, all of us should try not to impose inconvenience and difficulty on others. We should be more accepting and tolerance. I am not taking sides or passing judgement on others although it is clear on who is right or wrong. So many factors contributing to this outburst. It could have ended peacefully, if the women did not protest or the old man did not nag or the owner have another person to collect the money or have a more friendly way to collect the cash. A simple incident but a complex combination of varying factors.
In one of the TV programme " Numbers", one fo the professor told his student, we can use complex mathematic equations to project an outcome but the outcome involving human being are not controllable. This means that human being's re-action is not predictible and varying.
There was this analogy in one of Ajahn Brahm's dharma, he told a story of this man who was requested by his wife to go to the market to get some eggs for her. Upon reaching the market, he was trying to enter a shop selling eggs and one man outside the shop keep shouting and scolding him. He was so upset that he turn and go back home. Upon seeing her husband's return and knowing that he did not get the eggs for her, she asked him to go back to the shop as she really needed the eggs. So, the man have no choice, he went back to the shop and upon reaching the shop , the same man started shouting and scolding him again, he ignore him and went into the shop despite been very upset. Once in the shop, the owner told him that the man outside scolded at everyone and he is mad because of some illness. Suddenly, the man feel relieved and become peaceful instead of been upset. So, there is a reason for everything.
If your friend try to be difficult to you or scold you or upsetting you, there is a reason, He is angry because he is unhappy or upset at home or he is having some personal problems or something is bothering him or her. Basically, everyone is good and love to be like by others. If you meet difficult people and he or she scold you, all you need to do is to keep silent and quiet. Hold your re-action for 10 seconds and answer in a positive tone. Just remember a strong action only will result in a stronger re-action. A shouting match is not the only way to resolve an arguement, there are many outcome and choices. Not to re-act and staying quiet is a very strong response. Remember to be angry is to hurt oneself over other people's imperfection.
In Buddhism, we always use the peaceful way to avoid a conflict and some people think that this is very passive and do not do justice to a solution and result in been abuse by others. Is winning or losing so important? What is the end result to boost one/s own ego or to save a face. So, it is to win a war and the end result is that everyone is killed. The concept of impermanance comes in here and the end is the same. We will vanish from this earth,
The writing of this thought evolves from the breakfast experience , my daughter's unhappiness over her friend and my wife's uneasiness over the bad attitude of his superiors. My advise is to ignore the imperfections and try to be more tolerance. This wisdom can be attainable by finding peace from within and have a more loving and kind heart. We should pray the well being of these people and move on with our lives.
Namo , namo...
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