Am I stuck in a different realm?

As if I am in a different realm. Feel tired and speechless lately. I could not get out this desperate mood and still wondering within. It is suffocating and pressurized why am I feeling so strange and unable to break through. So  idly bored. Wanted to do something different , just to breakout. Have been like this a long time. Bored deep inside and have to keep a brave front and keep smiling from the outside. Just like still water which runs deep. Underneath the surface, it is churning and boiling. So restless and desperate , yet don't know what to do. Could this be the second Mano pause? I am changing and searching for myself again and wondering what actually I want in life， Is life like this ? Everyday. A set routine. Running I circles in many ways but is running in circles. The day pass into weeks and then in months and in years. Wake up every morning struggling to find my footing to stay the day. I was thankful each day and the wonderful breath I am breathing. What else do I want? In no time, we will have to ride into the twilight and never return. And that is the end of it. I am just human. Namaste.