Honey, where are you ? Have you eaten your dinner ? Who are you with ? Don't come home so late ,huh ? " Mum or dad, I am old enough to take care of myself. Please do not control me and let me be independent ", cried their 18 years old daughter. "How can I take care of myself, when you are not around. Don't you know what I want". How do you think the parents will feel? Liberated ? or Heart ache? If we have a sense of appreciation, we should think carefully and do not take love and care as a control over your freedom and just shoot from the hip and screw up our thinking.
I was young before and I have my dad and mum, who show their love to me until the day they die. I remembered once I was crazy about playing the guitar and my neighbour was a good guitar player and every night, he will play his guitar in his room / At that time, the popular guitar music was played by " The shadows". I love to learn the guitar from my neighbour and neglect my studies. One day while watching the band practicing their piece, my father came and pull me by the ear and took me home for a good scolding and caning. I did nothing wrong as I love music. But, to my parents , they think that playing music is a useless hobby and I have been neglecting my studies. They are right as a good education and qualification was very important to me. The neighbour , the guitar player was only a carpenter. So, my dad think that I should not follow his foot steps.
There was nother time, my brother secretly took me out one night to play in a badminton competition. I was going for my exam the next day. After the competition, when I reach home, my mother caned me bad and I was jumping around with pain and avoiding the cane landing on my backside. Yes, she wsa very hurt because I neglect my studies and exam and her objective is to ensure that I have a good education and a good job. Yes, she mend good and she is not restricting or controlling me.
There was a chinese saying " when we groom our children for 100 years and we worry about them for 99 years ". We want the best for our children and we worry that we children walk the wrong path and connect with the wrong people. We want to teach them to fish instead of buying them fish so that they can have a skill for living and do not depend on people to catch fish for them. This is in the heart of every parent, they want the best for their children.
One more feature of parent and child, there is no over night hatred. Any querrel between the parent and the child, the love will never change for the child, even how hurt it can be. The parent is always understanding to the child. Every often the child takes things for granted and look for love outside their family. When we have too much of certain things , it has lost its special meaning and we are blind to their existence. Everything is taken for granted that it is there. So, many youngsters can titilate with their friends of the same generatons about anything under the sun but can hardly talk to their parents. Any expression of concern and care is an infringement of their freedom and exercisng control over them. This is rubbish. I like my parent to scold me or take care of me or express their concern over me. If I have their attention than I would be thankful. Someone is rooting for me and taking care of me. I will appreciate them and a long for their attention for me. Why do the youngsters deem this concern or care as something bad , ie like exercising control. If we look through another prospect, we can see and sense it as love and care.
When we want to see beautiful things , we cannot see it with our eyes , we can only see it with our heart. But, our heart of no eyes , so how can we see ? The answer is that if you have a heart , you can feel the warmth and the love. When you want to see beautiful things, see it with your heart.
There is a chinese saying , " appreciate the people your eyes can see". Open your eyes and heart to feel their presence. When they are gone, you will feel the difference. There is a wise word " I am invincible because other people choose not to see me". Don't behave in such a arrogant way but open your heart , mind and eyes to see , to see the beautiful things of people around you. You don't have to go far to look for new frieinds, those people who love you is very near to you and they are always there for you, it is you who choose not to see them. The grass is greener on the other side. Is it really ?
Namaste.
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