Yesterday, I met a long lost friend, S and she got married for about three years and she got a child of two years old. She talk about her unhappiness with her marriage to her current husband as the idea of divorce came acrose her mind. The main reason is that her husband is working in a foreign land.
When I heard of her view, I was quite taken back because she was only married for about three years and the difficulties of a marriage really bites her hard. I asked her whether she still love her husband or not and she told me that there were certain incidents which make her see the true person in her husband. For example, her husband have severely scolded her mother a couple of times. To her, this is not acceptable as in Chinese culture, we have to respect the elderly. Sadly speaking, the culture of respecting the elders is really getting less in the Gen Y and Z era. The young of today is so independent, rebellous and stubborn and they have their own opinion in their live. The breed of young ones who respect the elders is getting less.
In marriage, there are imperfections . Simply saying, nothing is perfect and we have to live with imperfect world or the imperfection of others. Then , my friend asked me this question " why do we need to live for others ?". Life is already too short and yet, we have to hold our feelings and hurt ourselves to maintain a marriage. Isn't that not worth it ? Yes and No.
Yes, we can choose to break away and choose the divorce route to live for your ownself and your off springs but you have to make sure your another half or ex-half bears the burden of providing for your off-springs . So, you have to make plan and strategies to get hold of such provision before the feelings gets to the triggering point. Otherwise, life would hard on you to bear all these expenses.
No. You have to understand the imperfections in this world and how you shall manage the imperfections. But again, it depends on the type of imperfections. If it is a cheating or a flaw character case or adultery , then it is not worth to save the marriage, if it hurts you too deeply or have breach your trust. All of us have moments of weakness and in love, there must be a lot of understandings. If we choose divorce for every small weakness, then we will be like a hippie and it is better not to get married.
The question to me is that should she divorce her husband? I do not know all the facts and it is very difficult for me to advise her . But, whether she divorse him or not is not the matter, I suggest to took the correct steps to get the financial details of her better half or lower half and get the security when the time comes or whether it comes or not , it does matter.
Currently, there was a long running chase in Sarawak , where a billionaire son is fighting to defend his right to the billion in his account in a divorce case. When the relationship gets sour, it will be too late and difficult for either party to claim provision for financial support of their children especially the man or the women is successful and smart. It applies in both ways.
My point is based on my experience and knowledge. When the milk is sour, why we need to keep it ? It only hurts both parties and if it goes beyond the point of displeasure where the sight of each other is upsetting and hurting , it is time to go rather than keep hurting each other.
Namaste.
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