Life will change completely with a simple twist of fate and this is to remind everyone that our life is so fragile and uncertain. It shakes my core of confidence in life. We have been assuming that we can wake up everyday and after my sister's critical fall which caused her to be immobile makes me feel that we cannot take this assumption of waking up everyday as normal. It could be that we will wake up the next day.
This fragility makes me fearful and uncertain. The chair I have been sitting confidently could just fell apart and hurt me one day . The one day could be now , tomorrow or in the future and this uncertainty makes me realized not to take things for granted.
My sister's incident showed me how a person could become so weak and helpless after a simple twist of fate. She could not move , she could not remember who I am and her eyes look into the far horizon or the window curtains. Her eyes peers through me as if I am not there. Wow, it is so strange and scary.
A perfect soul can become a not so perfect soul or a helpless soul in some case. I don't know how to handle this situation as she behave like a stranger to me . I wonder whether I am there or not , would it matter to her. Everyday, I have this hope of her waking up and talk to me but it is really a very slow process of recovery for her. Each day is only a slight recovery as she plays around with my fingers but her eyes grazing far and wide. I became transparent to her.
I have to re=organize my thoughts and get back my confidence as my mood swings. I could sleep some day and I would stay awake at times. I told myself , I have to be strong and patient to see how my sister recovers in days , weeks , months or years. I have a hope.
Namaste.
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