The ending of life

The ending of life

There is a chinese saying " the dead died straight and stiff while the living cannot live on straight". This living is very real with the living with the burden of the dead.  The dead can be gone and the living struggles to live on with the vacancy of the dead in their life and trying fill the gaps which is left behind by the dead.

Is living on is for the terminally ill ? No, I think it should also be for the living . The living is selfish wanting the dead to living on and stay behind to serve their purpose.

Their purpose is not monetary, love or cravings but the companionship and to be available when needed. Human being is a social animal and there is a need to be wanted or to want others .

When the end is near , the bond is been tested and this need to bonded creates sadness of losing someone while the dying is scare of what is beyond life.  At this moment religion becomes important as all the religions promised a place for everyone . It does not matter what is agenda or the truth. It is rather the comfort of everyone .

Ajahn Brahn says that the love should be beyond a person. Even if the person is gone , the love should stay . This is the true love for fellow human beings. There should not be sadness as the love is never gone and it exist indefinitely.

Namaste.

When all options are gone

When all options are done

When life comes to a dead end, what  have left is hope and wait for its end. What else can be done.

I have heard about people taking life into their own hand instead of having to endure the sufferings and live on hope. It takes a lot of guts to end one's life and a normal way is to live on with hope. Whichever option we choose , there is nothing wrong with it.

For those who wish to have their ashes thrown into the sea after their death is also very brave because most people would want their existence to remain forever and left their marks on this earth. 

For me, these actions is a personal wish and is also a personal choice. 

When a person is dying and he or she knows that the end is near , it is time to look towards God and learn to let go. Letting go of our life , also took a lot of courage. Everyone of us want to live our life as long as possible and cling on to life with all the hope we have. This is normal human behavior.

Waiting to die is a challenging task and living everyday with the suspense of when the end will come is really stressful and painful.

Namaste

Our past

Very often , our past catch up with us. whether it had been a good or bad story. Sinful or glorious.  Our past bcome much of a burden as we struggle through life . As my teacher , Ajahn Brahm remind us to live in the present and leaving one bag of our past and one bag of the future behind us which will free us to be in the " present".

Why have our bag for the past is so difficult to let go ? It is the memory , the experience and the sentiments which was brought forward by our mind. All these film scripts can be replayed many times and at anytime if our mind is not discipline or when we lapse in our focus or concentrations.

Sometimes, our mind down played our sins or make justification for been bad to self excuse us from the bad things that we have done.  Often an act have good and bad intentions and we intend to justify our sins and glorify our merits. This is the ego in us that is playing the trick. Any actions to protect or safeguard us is deemed to be good even if it is bad for other people even if it is a sinful act.  This is the self justificating mechanism in us. We can do no wrong and by nature, we are a self protecting creature. This is our instinct.

In our past, there are so many rights or wrongs in our undertaking and it is the past and we should let it go. But, the bodily mechanism cannot undo the act or let go of it. We can only make our past smaller or bigger or let it float in the surface or keep deep in our memory. If our mind is discipline , we can make it smaller and smaller or keep it deeper and deeper. We cannot totally eradicate it and it is just like the crack in the mirror , it cannot heal together as if there is no happenings.

This bodily function to hold on or to let go is a very mysterous function and it is control totally by our mind. There is a wise saying that nobody can hurt us if we do not want to be hurt by an act or incident because it is entitely our power to decide whether we are happy or not. Nobody can make us happey or sad  and it is entitely dependent on us. Like letting go the past , it is in the power of the mind.

But to be honest to ourself , we have to be frank in looking into every sinful act that we have done ie those act that has hurt others. Sometimes, we do not know of its existence and unknowingly, we did those acts that hurt others. That is why people said that some people have " bad characters". Who will want to do sinful things but the in built mechanism  of everyone is for themselves and that is why it often it happens to be hurting others.

Life is complicated but if we are aware of our past and let it be what it have been and let it go.

Namaste.

The depth of my tiredness

Last weekend was a day of sleep for me.  I sleep on Saturday morning after my yoga session and I sleep early saturday night and wake up late on Sunday morning. I continue to sleep after breakfast and lunch until the evening of Sunday and again , I slept early on Sunday night and wake up late on Monday morning.  What I did was an hour of Yoga and the rest of the time is eat, sleep , eat and sleep.  I do not know why but my body is telling me to sleep.  The more I sleep, the more tired I am and as if my days of rest for the past week have not been enough and it is catch up time.

Last week, I was on a four days trip to Bangladesh and both trip to and flo was on a night flight. I tried to sleep during the flight but it seems not enough. Lucky thing is that my body was able to tell me that I need sleep and I was able to sleep. I was feeling abit  drowsy after some much of sleep.  I feel good as I recovered or still recoving.

On the negative note, am I over sleeping or wasting my days to do what I want ? The days and weeks passes by as I struggle between work, sleep and yoga  including eating my meals. This routine have been going on for years but I am getting more aware of it as I aged. Maybe , it is because of my living  days are getting shorter as I drift into my twilight years.

As days goes by, more and more people is passing away including the dogs which I am familiar with. I heard one of my Japanese friend who lying in the hospital after suffering a mild heart attack has his heart stopped twice for 2 seconds or more. Now he needs a pace maker to regulate his heart.  He has his medical check a few weeks ago and it was in fine order as his main arteries was certified clear of blockage but it was the small arteries which give him this mild attack due to blockage.  It was a unpredictible attack. Life is like this uncertain and some times it is full of jokes.

My teacher Ajahn brahm said that in life it is all about experience and at the end of the day, we learn from these experiences . Good, bad or ugly, we learn from the experiences and get some awareness out of it.

My tiredness lingers on and I hope I can pull myself out of this tiredness and live my life well.

Namaste.

The death of an old dog

The life of a dog is normally 10 years and sometimes, it is earlier  due to the different sickness and accidents.  It is just like humans which have a life span of an average of 70 to 80 years or earlier if there are sickness.  This is the evolution of nature.

Yeah, there is a German Sheperd dog called Easter and she was breed and taken care by my SIL since young . My SIL is lying in the hospital sick with a big 'C".  The dog died a few days ago while my SIL in hospital.  This information was not given to her to avoid her feeling sad and is no help to her sickness.

She has two dogs and one dog had died earlier due to a weak heart and now , this big dog died in old age. Does this mean anything ? There is a belief that these dogs have taken the sin from the master and endue their sufferings.  Hopefully this is right  and can relieve the suffering of the owner.

In Buddhism , there is the law of karma . It is " what you reap " for what you sow . The plus and minus can cancelled each one out.  A big plus will cancel off many small minus or a small plus cancel off one small minus. This debit and credit of the sins and merits is done in our life time. If there is alot of minus,  these minus will be carried into your next life and you have to keep repaying until , there is more plus than minus and you advance in a higher realm and you evolve through many  life times to achieve enlightenment. But , there is a counter argument . How come, the population of the world increased so much if this is only on a replacement mechanism ? The population should be keep constant. This question is a very difficult question to answer as the light force from the universe keep multiply with two light force which the source of life multiplying into two, three or four  or more when the two light force combine and split. How true it is with this theory is unanswerable but remained just a theory.

What we know is that the natural disasters in the world is keep happening to check the balance of the population or prevent a runaway train and let the population explore. Human being's action of war or conflict is also a means to keep track of the growth in popultion. How is doing this balancing act ? The Universe or God ? Which God ? There is no answer to this question.

In actual fact, there is a hidden hand who is doing all these perfecting act and it is remaining a guess.
Let the speck of life concentrate on the small things  while leave the bigger things to the hidden hands in our life.

Namaste.

Frustrating moments

Frustrating moments

On my return trip from Bangla, I entered some frustrating incidences.

I stop by a hotel to rest and took a fresh orange juice and the bill came up to 950 Taka and it is converted to US$12 . Back home in Makaydis , it is only US$2 . I can have a good dinner in my country if I soend US$12. It is a country where a cuppa is cheaper than a orange juice.

At the entrance to the airport, there was a huge crowd blocking the gate and I asked the local staff what is happening . He told me that it is a custom in their country that if one person flies  overseas , there will be 12 persons accompany him to see him off. Well, it must be a passionate country.

Coming to the gate to the airport proper, again many family members will gather around to block the entrance. Some of them shouting across each other as if unseparatable.

OMG.

Going into the check in counter, I could not find the counter and the guy fro. Emirates air told me that there is no fixed counter and it is a first come first serve and he makes me walk the whole length of the passage way to look for my airline. It is back to Stone Age . What the $^%%€£¥¥.

I am still waiting for the change of counters and waiting patiently. It is totally rubbish.

Namaste

Stalled in time

Stalled in time

Sitting in Le Meridien hotel in Dhaka waiting for my flight home. Have to wait for a five hours transit time and I have to entertain myself or keep myself occupied.

So, I thought it is better to write out my frustrations I have encountered during the trip to this God foresaken place. 

I was in line to get out of the plane and an local Bangla guy asked me to give way but in front of me there are a lot of passengers waiting to get after the plane have landed . I asked him what the rush and he told me that his father who is sick wants to get out fast but the lane is clogged . I gave  way but after me he could not make any head ways. I thought this fellow must be a bull in a crowded street. Mindless and senseless. He should have requested for a wheel chair. Numb skull.

Another incident was another local fellow who keeps telling me that I have sat on a wrong seat in a local flight. I told him a few times that I have the correct seat. He looks at me as if I am an idiot until the flight stewardess told him off and he went to sit in his seat.

The third incident was this Chinaman fella who looks right and left and not moving from the aircraft passenger lane and block me from getting out of my seat. I want to tell him off but he looks like a "bull" in a China shop. Better not to start any conflict as I look away and behave myself and have to wait it out.

When we go on a journey , we have to take our time and be patient with the funny people around us. We have to bit our lips , hold our balls and wait it out.

Namaste