I am tired

This is the second time that I am feeling tired to this level.  Once is about 35 years ago when I break up with my girlfriend and after that I feel very tired and unable to appreciate anything in life.  This is the second time and it brings back the feeling from the 1st time. I could not face my sick sister and after each time , I feel fully exhausted. I could be with her for 15 minutes or a few hours, the moment I leave her , I feel the strain in my body. I am exhausted.

It is the energy to get her focus to look at me or to identify me.  She will take peeps at me but her eyes will wonder around and I could sense that she is not focus.. She is a stranger to me for the past 90 days since she suffered a fall and hurt her brain.

The Doctors told us that she is stable now  ie her heart is stable and her brain is stable and no clot but the brain Doctor told us that he cannot understand why she is still in this condition.  He told me that the brain is a mysterious organ.  It can shut down or it can recover by itself without any indication.  What we can do it to wait and let the brain repair itself.   But , I asked the Doctor but the MRI did not show any injuries then why is it behaving like this.  His answer is negative. He just don't know.

This kind of explanation bothers me more and drain my spiritual strength  I am tired , very tired of waiting. Waiting for sleeping beauty to wake up. Did my sister eat a rotten apple or her soul just shattered from the fall.  How do I gather back the pieces and make her wake up.  I refused to think and I am considering to ask the unknown what I should do to bring back her broken soul together for her to join back the picture of her memory. She can just wake up know what has happen in the past and she can recognize all of us. 

This will be the happy ending. The silence is wearing me down.


Namaste.