Who am I ?

Billions of people have came before me and in the Universe, I am just like a tiny spark of dust , so who am I ?  Nothing , just another speck of dust in transit in a short journey if we look at the quantum leap.  Do you realize that the higher we go up in the sky, our size gets smaller and the same applies to time, if we look at time in a quantum leap, it is just a blink of any eye. So, where is our ego ?

If we look at the mirror, we are just a mass of protoplasm with a brain and  network of nerves and the six senses.  However, to us it is a perfect me. When I was young, I have this question of who am I and I have been searching for the true meaning of life until my tertiary education and until now, I am still searching for the "Truth" or the "Tao".

On my lips, I have been questioning the existence of GOD or the Creator. If without this holy being , how can I be so perfect. In the bible, Men is created in the image of GOD while in Buddhism, there is no GOD but the Universe is created by a " Big Bang" and evolves until now. Comparing these two concepts, it is easier to accept that there is GOD because it is so easy to explain what we are today.
If GOD exist, which GOD is  He?  A Christian GOD , Taoist GOD,  Bahai GOD or an Islam Allah ?
Which is the "Tao" or the way ?  Another question is why GOD have created so many races who fight against each other or create so many natural disaster to kill of  mankind. Is there a need to balance the numbers through this way. It is a very difficult question and through the centuries, the establishment have created the image and teaching of GOD and have also created an institution on each belief.  Maybe, to stop torturing our self, we just accept one religion and make our self to believe it completely instead of asking this endless question.

In Buddhism, the believe is in our own awakening and enlightenment.  In some extremes, we can achieve enlightenment is short spells which means total bliss.  In meditation, we are improving our ability to prolong this short spell of eternal bliss  and gain enlightenment in the end. This religion also taught us to concentrate on the present moment and do not think of the past and future and become more aware and conscious of the present. Is this suppressing our search for GOD? In the context , GOD is macro and we have to go minute and concentrate on the  micro of life. Yes, I can find more solace in Buddhism , but still the answer to the existence of GOD remain unanswered. 

There are some people who claim that GOD come into their life and they changed forever and accept GOD into their life. Why is it happening to only certain people and not to everyone. Is GOD so choosy or those who do not see GOD in their life are naughty or bad people.  In some religion , they try to explain that " many are called and few are chosen".  Why are these few so privileged and special in the eyes of GOD?  I have been trying to communicate with GOD but futile and I have to concentrate on my own spiritual development through Buddhism. Hopefully, I can see the light one day and get enlighten to know the answer to " who am I "?

Until then, I have to live with a purpose and hope to touch the life at least one person a day to nurture my power of enlightenment and awareness.

Namaste.