Stage of despair

It was raining cats and dogs last night at the early hours of the morning. Need to get up early this morning to buy breakfast for my FIL, who is still in the hospital.  Have been going to the hospital for the last few days. Yes, to support my wife, who is having  a elderly and sick father.

The hospital in the wee hours of the morning was deserted even on a Sunday and it was so quiet and lonely. I was walking alone along the corridor to the hospital room and I could feel the cool and eerie feeling of despair.  Yeah, the long corridor is just like a tunnel to the other side. Long , quiet and cold. It will be  a lonely journey unless we know where we are going ? Yes, do we know where we are going to ? There is never an answer unless you believe in the religious texts. Heaven , that is.

Two days ago while leaving my FIL's hospital room, my daughter, May told me that there is a short cut to the parking bay but I told her, we should use the main door and she obliged. But, when we came back to the hospital after dinner, she insisted we follow her and we did.  She lead us through a side entrance and the corridor leading in was long, lonely and cool.  Anyway, we walk through the corridor and reach the lift and after getting on the lift , I asked my BIL, ES who was with me how he felt while we were walking through the corridor and he told me that he had an uncomfortable feeling.  Yes, I concur with him and I told him that corridor leads to the mortuary. I had look around while we were walking through and there was a room for collecting the dead bodies. Yes, hundreds and thousands of dead bodies have been released from the hospital mortuary.  No wonder, it has the eerie feeling.

Nobody wants to talk about death but yet, death is unavoidable.  We can behave like the ostrich by putting our head in the sand and not looking at the reality but it will not go away and we have to face it one day.  Looking at my FIL suffering the daily pain, it was hurtful but we do not know the despair and mental torture coming stress of dying. In Buddhist, we have been told to let go and put things in order so that we are lighter when we go on a journey. It is not the life that we can not let go but rather we can not let go of the things we leave behind. The good life and the materialistic things that we have.

Like what the Dalai Lama say " We sacrifice our health to earn money and finally, we use the money to save our health and to live longer" . This is the strange behaviour of human beings. We need to realize and to realize fast that we take care of our health first before earning the money and suffer all the way.

So, have a good Sunday and think of what I say.............live now and be happy.

Namaste.