Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Don't cry for me - Bangladesh
I am in Bangladesh now, a land of 160 million people. Formerly, it was part of a united India and then, part of the country break away and form Pakistan and from there, it further dis-integrate into East and West Pakistan. Later, East Pakistan changed its name to Bangladesh.
The country have evolved and is becoming more developed as more and more investors came to invest in the textile industry. The country depends heavily on their garment industry and have been successful sub-contractors for many brand names in the US and Europe. My association with the country dates back more than 20 years ago as my employer exports substantially to this country.
The Government of this country have been changing hands between two iron ladies, Madam Haslina and Madam Kaleda. Their feud has been personal and dates back decades with each claiming personal and family attacks on each other. It is amazing to see how the country moves on with such an check and balance mechanism. Each parties takes turn to purge and discredit each other when each party takes over the government. The army have been impartial and strong in this country to keep the stability. Bangladesh is one of the most corrupted countries in the world. Even with this political problem in the background, the country is growing very fast. The main reason is due to its large population to provide the necessary labor support and its education system is based on the British system and most of the people can speak very good English. United India was once a colony of the Great British Empire and this is one of the good things that the Empire have left behind for the country.
A huge portion of the population of the people earned just enough to survive on a hand to mouth situation. About 20 years ago, the people is so poor that there is a huge pool of beggars everywhere and they will swamp around you when you come out of the airport. Now, you can hardly see beggars around but corruption is rampant.
When we came out of the airport this afternoon, one of the porter rushed to help us to unload our stuff into a trolley and keep telling us that there is no problem. Sir, no problem, he say again to assure us. But, my colleague and myself, smile and say " yes, you have no problem but we have a problem". What we mean is that we will need to give him a tip for this service. It is their habit to dictate the amount of tips they want. My colleague have a wonderful encounter on the same occasion. We were allowed to stay in the waiting area at the airport by an officer due to a national strike going on outside. After the security outside of the airport gets better and on our way out of the airport lounge, my colleague wants to give him a small tip to show our appreciation but he points to a bigger currency note in my colleague's hand. This incident shows the hunger of the people for money, survival and a better life.
During our flight, there was no passenger at the business class area and it is incredible to see those passengers in the economy class going to occupy the business class seats. Such act is not allowed in an international airline. This is Bangladesh whereby rules and regulations are persistently tested and challenged by the local people as if the whole country is like a big family.
Having related all these negative incidents, Bangladesh is definitely growing by leap and bounce as investors keep searching for low cost producing countries to maximize their profits or for survival. The emergence of a strong pool of middle class intellectuals augur well for the country.
Like my local friends said with pride to me :" You will cry twice when you are in Bangladesh. Once is when you come to their country and see the poor people who struggles for their daily survival and the other time is when you leave Bangladesh because you love it too much". Initially, I disagree with this remark and my interpretation was : " yes, I will cry in seeing the poverty in the country and I will cry again when I leave the country because I am so happy to get out and back to civilization". However, this perception is changing as I could see that involving in the change in the country in whatever small or big way is meaningful and self fulfilling,
My humble wish for the best to this country.
Namaste.
The country have evolved and is becoming more developed as more and more investors came to invest in the textile industry. The country depends heavily on their garment industry and have been successful sub-contractors for many brand names in the US and Europe. My association with the country dates back more than 20 years ago as my employer exports substantially to this country.
The Government of this country have been changing hands between two iron ladies, Madam Haslina and Madam Kaleda. Their feud has been personal and dates back decades with each claiming personal and family attacks on each other. It is amazing to see how the country moves on with such an check and balance mechanism. Each parties takes turn to purge and discredit each other when each party takes over the government. The army have been impartial and strong in this country to keep the stability. Bangladesh is one of the most corrupted countries in the world. Even with this political problem in the background, the country is growing very fast. The main reason is due to its large population to provide the necessary labor support and its education system is based on the British system and most of the people can speak very good English. United India was once a colony of the Great British Empire and this is one of the good things that the Empire have left behind for the country.
A huge portion of the population of the people earned just enough to survive on a hand to mouth situation. About 20 years ago, the people is so poor that there is a huge pool of beggars everywhere and they will swamp around you when you come out of the airport. Now, you can hardly see beggars around but corruption is rampant.
When we came out of the airport this afternoon, one of the porter rushed to help us to unload our stuff into a trolley and keep telling us that there is no problem. Sir, no problem, he say again to assure us. But, my colleague and myself, smile and say " yes, you have no problem but we have a problem". What we mean is that we will need to give him a tip for this service. It is their habit to dictate the amount of tips they want. My colleague have a wonderful encounter on the same occasion. We were allowed to stay in the waiting area at the airport by an officer due to a national strike going on outside. After the security outside of the airport gets better and on our way out of the airport lounge, my colleague wants to give him a small tip to show our appreciation but he points to a bigger currency note in my colleague's hand. This incident shows the hunger of the people for money, survival and a better life.
During our flight, there was no passenger at the business class area and it is incredible to see those passengers in the economy class going to occupy the business class seats. Such act is not allowed in an international airline. This is Bangladesh whereby rules and regulations are persistently tested and challenged by the local people as if the whole country is like a big family.
Having related all these negative incidents, Bangladesh is definitely growing by leap and bounce as investors keep searching for low cost producing countries to maximize their profits or for survival. The emergence of a strong pool of middle class intellectuals augur well for the country.
Like my local friends said with pride to me :" You will cry twice when you are in Bangladesh. Once is when you come to their country and see the poor people who struggles for their daily survival and the other time is when you leave Bangladesh because you love it too much". Initially, I disagree with this remark and my interpretation was : " yes, I will cry in seeing the poverty in the country and I will cry again when I leave the country because I am so happy to get out and back to civilization". However, this perception is changing as I could see that involving in the change in the country in whatever small or big way is meaningful and self fulfilling,
My humble wish for the best to this country.
Namaste.
Respect the dead but take care of yourself
Today, I received an SMS from a friend and her name was not listed in my hand phone. The message say that her mum have just passed away peacefully in the morning at 9.30 am. Immediately, I call the number to check out who the sender was and when the voice came over the phone, I recognised her voice and I sent my condolence to her on the demise of her mum. She told me that her mum have no complains about her health and it just happen. It was a shock to her.
My memory also jump back into my past when I received a phone call from my nephew telling me that my eldest brother was in trouble. He was staying with my second sister and she was out marketing. I called my wife to go over to check it out and she asked me to go to my sister's house immediately. I was at work and I took leave and drive to my sister's house. On entering, my nephew was there in the living room and he asked me to go up stairs. Half way up the stairs , I saw my eldest brother lying on the floor, dead. He has suffered a heart attack in the morning. We all know that he is sick and have a bad heart and he was scheduled to go for operation at the General Hospital Heart ward the following month. He never make it to that day. I searched high and low for my second sister and finally, I manage to locate her and she rushed back home to help my sister-in-law to handle his funeral.
This memory also kick start another memory about the death of my mother and my father and subsequently, my uncle and aunties. There a sequence of death due old age or illness. The unpleasantness and discomfort of these memories can affect our mood and our outlook in life.
Like I have mentioned in my earlier article, we cannot escape the cycle of birth-old age-sickness-death as professed in the Buddhist teaching. My adopted Buddhist teacher , Ajahn Brahm have talk about this subject countless times and have given an example that when a strong wind blow in the night, the next morning , there will be a lot of leaves on the ground. Some are old leaves and some are young leaves. All these happenings are pre-destined. It is a matter of : if it is not now , it will be later.
A lot of the wise teachers have asked us to concentrate on the "now" or the present and I would like to advise my friend, SF that tomorrow is never promised and what we have is now. You have to grief but at the same time, you have to let go. What is gone , is gone and you cannot do anything about it but you can make a difference now to your self. Start living and doing the things you want to do and enjoy your life fully. Respect the dead but take care of yourself and be strong.
Namaste.
My memory also jump back into my past when I received a phone call from my nephew telling me that my eldest brother was in trouble. He was staying with my second sister and she was out marketing. I called my wife to go over to check it out and she asked me to go to my sister's house immediately. I was at work and I took leave and drive to my sister's house. On entering, my nephew was there in the living room and he asked me to go up stairs. Half way up the stairs , I saw my eldest brother lying on the floor, dead. He has suffered a heart attack in the morning. We all know that he is sick and have a bad heart and he was scheduled to go for operation at the General Hospital Heart ward the following month. He never make it to that day. I searched high and low for my second sister and finally, I manage to locate her and she rushed back home to help my sister-in-law to handle his funeral.
This memory also kick start another memory about the death of my mother and my father and subsequently, my uncle and aunties. There a sequence of death due old age or illness. The unpleasantness and discomfort of these memories can affect our mood and our outlook in life.
Like I have mentioned in my earlier article, we cannot escape the cycle of birth-old age-sickness-death as professed in the Buddhist teaching. My adopted Buddhist teacher , Ajahn Brahm have talk about this subject countless times and have given an example that when a strong wind blow in the night, the next morning , there will be a lot of leaves on the ground. Some are old leaves and some are young leaves. All these happenings are pre-destined. It is a matter of : if it is not now , it will be later.
A lot of the wise teachers have asked us to concentrate on the "now" or the present and I would like to advise my friend, SF that tomorrow is never promised and what we have is now. You have to grief but at the same time, you have to let go. What is gone , is gone and you cannot do anything about it but you can make a difference now to your self. Start living and doing the things you want to do and enjoy your life fully. Respect the dead but take care of yourself and be strong.
Namaste.
Five regrets of the dying ....extracts
FOR many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die.
When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would have done differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
his was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it’s easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even half of their dreams and knew that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many had not been breadwinners.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often patients would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called “comfort” of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and themselves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. –
BRONNIE WARE
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Time will solve all problems
I watch the "Millionaire Singer" programme this evening. This is a Taiwanese singing program whereby the singer needs to remember the lyrics of a song before he can proceed to the next round which awards a bigger reward. This program was suppose to be an entertainment slot but for this evening's program was a bit different.
One of the contestant was a duo sister act which was invited to participate in the program. As the Host interviewed both of them, it turns out that both were not real sisters and they have stop singing together for more than 11 years and both hardly talk to each other despite the fact both of them have performed together for more than 6 years and they won some song awards together. It was reviewed that they quarrel because of their families' problem. One of the Singer took out an award which they have won many years ago to give to the other singer and she also present a greeting card to express her feeling and apologized for all the hurts she has caused in the past. Both of them broke down and cried uncontrollably. It was really a touching and inspiring scene.
The above is a lesson. It is our choice to forgive and forget and to reach out to our friends. It does matter who is right or wrong, Open your heart and release all the pent up feelings , let all the hurts go and reach out for your friends. A lot of us have re-acted in the same way and some people choose to keep the hurts in their heart until they die and some waited for years before letting go and reach out again.
However, I feel that " Time will solve all problems" is a very passive action. Like the example above, it took them 11 years to review their feelings . The opportunity was also due to the Host , who have been kind enough to arrange for such re-union of the two singers. Why should we let time control our life and feelings ? The choice to act now or later is ours and it is all within us to decide when we can exercise our options. So, the latest slogan is "do it now" or " just do it". Don't let time be our master.
The art of letting go can be learned through awareness and our understanding of our self. The realization of letting go is within us and don't rely on time to dull our hurting feelings as the power to forgive, forget and move forward is in our hands.
Loving kindness.
One of the contestant was a duo sister act which was invited to participate in the program. As the Host interviewed both of them, it turns out that both were not real sisters and they have stop singing together for more than 11 years and both hardly talk to each other despite the fact both of them have performed together for more than 6 years and they won some song awards together. It was reviewed that they quarrel because of their families' problem. One of the Singer took out an award which they have won many years ago to give to the other singer and she also present a greeting card to express her feeling and apologized for all the hurts she has caused in the past. Both of them broke down and cried uncontrollably. It was really a touching and inspiring scene.
The above is a lesson. It is our choice to forgive and forget and to reach out to our friends. It does matter who is right or wrong, Open your heart and release all the pent up feelings , let all the hurts go and reach out for your friends. A lot of us have re-acted in the same way and some people choose to keep the hurts in their heart until they die and some waited for years before letting go and reach out again.
However, I feel that " Time will solve all problems" is a very passive action. Like the example above, it took them 11 years to review their feelings . The opportunity was also due to the Host , who have been kind enough to arrange for such re-union of the two singers. Why should we let time control our life and feelings ? The choice to act now or later is ours and it is all within us to decide when we can exercise our options. So, the latest slogan is "do it now" or " just do it". Don't let time be our master.
The art of letting go can be learned through awareness and our understanding of our self. The realization of letting go is within us and don't rely on time to dull our hurting feelings as the power to forgive, forget and move forward is in our hands.
Loving kindness.
Friday, November 26, 2010
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