A fading memory of a friend - a story.

It has been 14 years now. Yes, the following year my mother died  that  we became unrelated.  We have been friends for 10 years when my friends and I employed her to run our business. Through the 10 years, my friends have abandon the business leaving me to hold the fort. It was hard to carry on the burden.

It was a pity at that time to let go  the business and put her and her staff on the streets. It is something I cannot do and would not do. All my friends just told me to do whatever needs to be done but I could not do it.  I have cold sweats at night thinking about it.

My mother and sister asked me to make a heartless decision as it was hurting my family and my mother. Coming to think about it , I should have done it as a business decision.  My thoughts flip here and there as I toil to support the business financially  and during my off days. It was hard but my pride and softness refused fo rme to give in.

Through these years, my friend, M grow and matured in her business sense. One day, I saw a fax and I know that I have to prepare for the worse. I know she was dating one of my customer  and they have been closed but I never thought that she will jump ship.  She was preparing to start her own business. The same type of business.  What should I do? She has all my customers and personal relationship with them.  I  confronted her. After confirming her intention,  I took a painful cut and sold off the business to her at a deep discount.  The pain is gone once and for all.

Now, 14 years later, I do not regret what I have done. It is part of  my dharma and my fate to go through this painful path. In my heart, I say sorry to my wife, my mum and my sister.  Three of them have stood by me while I was down but not out. I believe it could be my sins from my past and I have to repay  that debt to her.  After this ordeal, I realized I start to recieve blessing and good fortunes. Things start to turn better as if the sky is clear when the rain is gone. I am like a marathon runner having a second wind.

All the past is now a memory. A fading memory. I owe a big debt to my wife and my sister and I have apologized a thousand times to my late mother for dragging their life into mine and giving them so much worries and heartaches. Sometimes , I feel hurt because of the betrayal but what good will it bring.  I have reason many times to myself to let it go. Perhaps, she never realized that she has done something wrong because she is fending for herself.  Yes, she may be right and I could be wrong.

The dharma for me is that I have a role to play  and I have to act it out and finish the show. The ending is depending on me to see whether it is good or it is bad.

Namaste.