Last Friday, I had a lunch with my bankers, Alice and her colleague,Mandy from KL, together with my colleague,B. The meeting started off with Mandy talking about her mother and her family and how they love and go around eating good food. Her mother operates a restaurant and she picks up her cooking skill from her mum. She was very chatty and talk about her upcoming trip to Penang to search for good food especially the Char Koay Teow.
In the middle of the lunch, Mandy change the subjet to yoga and that she has been practising yoga for the past 9 months and she likes it very much. She talks about a silent retreat for 7 days and how she was taught not to talk for 7 days together with her mum. But, the way she is talking, I think the impact of the silent meditation has worn off and she gradually is regaining her usual self.
There is a Chinese saying " we can change an Empire but we cannot change our basic character". To unlearn is very tough and painful. Talking is an expression of our thoughts and our desire and it is a way of expression and communication. But, it we stretch it beyond its intention, it is use to attack, criticise , gossip and back mouth others.
The Dalai Lama in his latest posting in his website says " We criticize others easily but we must practise self discipline and look at ourself daily and criticize ourself. In this way, we are aware of our weakness and not to see these weaknes in others. This awareness will discipline us to talk less and more effectively.
Just a moment ago, I went into my facebook and I read my daughter's friend,E'a message " silence is our biggest cry". It prompts me to think that E must be trying to send some message. Is she trying to tell us that she is crying deep in her heart from hurt? can we suffer silently in pain? Is this the most noble thing to do? Can cring in silence help in her problem? It depends. Most of the time, we solve our own problems by ourself without telling people and some times, telling other people our problem does not help at all and in case, it could hurt us if these people talk too much. But, if we have problem which is caused by other people, we should tell them and asked them not to hurt us anymore. This is a defensive action and a positive one especially in protecting one's human rights. So, good luck to you,E and it is your choice to decide your actions.
Coming back to the lunch. Obviously, Alice have not much chance to talk about herself or potentially business with us. It save the day for us as we are not prepared to advance our business relationship with her bank. At the end, it was a hush hush time to talk briefly about business and we were on our way.
This meeting have make me aware of the conflicting intention of Alice and Mandy and how the dominance of Mandy over the lunch and talk all about herself and her family. It is also a wonder how can a person so readily promote her ownself and her agenda. Well, in a Chinese saying " one type of rice can feed 100 type of people with different personality".
Well, our fate miggle and our patch cross each other and each shall go our own ways in our own journy of life.
Namaste.
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