A bak chang experience - meat or no meat.

We had a bak chang festival recently and my sister make a lot of bak chang for the family. My sister following my late mother's behaviour have always been generous. Food is always in abundance at the expense of her pocket money.  Today, in the front page of The Star , Malaysians over eat and very wasteful. Throwing away tons of food everyday. Well, maybe  my sister is one of the culprit but we really enjoy our food and we often over eat.  That is besides the point.

The real issue is that on the day of the Chang festival, my wife open one white bean chang and she shouted " why is there meat in the chang?" . I replied " No, there should not be any meat in the bean chang, Meat do not mixed with beans".  She responeded " you blind one ..arh. there is meat in the chang. You always challenge me one...". The conversation ended in silence.

I remembered a story of a " chicken or duck" story. Once a couple was strolling in a park and they hear a noice. The wife say " This must be a chicken" and the husband replied " Honey, this is a duck". The wife raised her voice , " This is a chicken" and the man replied " This is a duck" and this arguement grow louder and louder until the wife started crying " I say this is a chicken" and finally, the husband agreed " Yes, this is a chicken", My point here is that is it so important whether it is a chicken or a duck.Whoever is right does not matter and it brings no benefit except sadness. The same goes with the bak chang issue. It does not matter whether there is meat in the white bean bak chang or not. 

In life, we are encountered with many such trivial matters and we hold our position until face off and became hurting.  It is our pride or ego which have ruled our head and we always have to be right. Yes, it is a sad thing and when we cool down we regret our actions or our response. We have to be humble and wise. If we apply the principle of " everybody wants to be happy and want to avoid unhappiness" , then we will know how to handle such confrontations and naturally, we will know how to compromise.

Yes, we need to slow down, listen to our body and peep into our mind and think before we act or say something. A second's pause will solve  to act or say will change the entire situation. When you angry, don't make decisions or say anything. Just be aware of the anger and let it flare but hold back your response and finally, you will know that it is not a serious amtter. Our first impression is that the damage is great but if we look long enough , the problem will get smaller and smaller.

It is a difficult task to hold back and think but we must contemplate and make our self aware at the vital moment. Winnig or losing depends on this ability to be cool and act accordingly or say wisely.

Namaste.
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