In deep thoughts

Now I am sitting in the corner of my yoga room and in a mood for comtemplation. I could see the trees and plants through my glass panels as well as the flat in the vicinity.  I feel so relax as I kept my glaze at nature.  My thoughts went back to my younger days while I was in college studying for my professional exam.  I was a young man then  and during my spare time, I have attended some christian retreats as I have so many christian friends  who was ever willing to persuade me to accept the lord. 

There is nothing wrong with them as they have such strong believe in Jesus and I have tried to open my heart to the religion and during my growing up, I have also attended certain prayer sessions and there was this particular session which I could still clearly recall.  My mother-in-law, Maggie have accept the faith and I, together with my wife have accompanied her to a prayer session when she was suffering from the big "C". In that session, it was lead by an American lady paster and it was well attended. The paster was very strong in your prayers and kept asking us to open our heart to receive the lord. It became so emotional that the people standing besides me just fell down flat on their back as if in a trance. It was amazing and electrifying.  I try to open my heart to receive the lord but the connection was not there.  I could not tune to the frequency and was not able to receive the impact. Perhaps, I am destined to be a Buddhist.

If there such a thing as destiny ? One of my learned friend told me that in Christianity, everything is fated but in Buddhism, it can still be adjusted through prayer and karma.  I do not know what is the interpretation in Islam. Nevertheless, I believe that it is up to us to decide our fate and exercise the various choice in our life. Nobody would know the outcome, so any guesses could be right.

There are so many billion of people who have passed before us and in this universe, we are only a tiny speck of dust, so basically, we are not so important.  It is only our limited vision and our choice of seeing things around us, that we make ourself important.  Do you think anybody can remember your name after you are gone ? We cannot even remember the billions before us, so who are we ?

Well, I can continue to get connected and keep writing but have to stop now.

Good day to all of you and deep compassion,