Looking for a retire home: Hotel?

WHERE TO LIVE WHEN YOU RETIRE !!!***
*No NURSING HOME FOR me!!!***
*No nursing home for us. We'll be checking into a Holiday Inn!*
***With the average cost for a nursing home care costing $188.00 per day,there is a better way when we get old and too feeble**.**I've already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn.*
*For a combined long term stay discount and senior discount, it's $59.23per night.*
*Breakfast is included, and some have happy hours in the afternoon.*
*That leaves $128.77 a day for lunch and dinner in any restaurant we want,or room service, laundry, gratuities and special TV movies.*
*Plus, they provide a spa, swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge andwasher-dryer, etc. *
*Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.**$5 worth of tips a day you'll have the entire staff scrambling to helpyou.*
*They treat you like a customer, not a patient.*
*There's a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free.*
*The handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp).*
*To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays.*
* **For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one ofthe nice restaurants there.*
*While you're at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keepsbuilding up.*
***It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will takeyour reservation today.*
*And you're not stuck in one place forever -- you can move from Inn to Inn,or even from city to city.*
*Want to see Hawaii? They have Holiday Inn there too.*
*TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? Noproblem.. They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience. *
*****The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maidchecks to see if you are ok. If not, they'll call an ambulance . . . orthe undertaker.*
*If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and HolidayInn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life. ** *
*** ****And no worries about visits from family.They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few daysmini-vacation.*

*The grandkids can use the pool.*
* What more could I ask for?**
**So, when I reach that golden age, I'll face it with a grin.*