Expects nothing in return.

Many people are disappointed because they expects returns in everything they do. If we are wise enough, we must train or teach our self to expects nothing and if something is given in return, treat it as a bonus. Disappointment breeds unhappiness and sufferings. Who is to suffer ? It is you and nobody else.

We have been influence or taught that if we give out something or we do something for people, we should be rewarded with a return whether monetary or otherwise. If I give a day of work, I should be paid a day’s work or if fetch a person home, we expects that person should be grateful and repay our kindness. We equate everything we do to something we can get immediately or in the future. This is logical as it is true that we work a day, we get a day’s wage.

However, our relationship with people is different because there is no contractual obligation for the other person to pay us for something we have done or gave to him or her. If there in no obligations and it is based on a voluntary basis then we should expect nothing. The choice is theirs to decide and we should not be disappointed if they do not want to repay you.

I have seen many good friends feeling disappointed with each other because one party have been giving and giving and expecting the other party to reciprocate but in the end, the other party takes for granted or treat the kind deeds on a voluntary basis without obligations. There are two sides to a coin and the designs on each side is different. So is our expectations.

When such incidents occurs, we start to pass judgments and try to analyses who is right and who is wrong ? Every words we say have different meanings and every sight we see have different focus and weight of each word or sight is different, so how can each expectation be the same? What you expect and what other give in return will not necessary match. So, there is bound to be many arguments and conflict of expectations.

If we are wise enough, we expects nothing and if we expects zero, we will be at the lowest level and how can we be disappointed when nothing comes in return. Zero matches zero. So, if we gets 1 and above, it is more than expectations already and it is an additional reward or bonus. We are taught to look high and if we gets half, it is already good. But, this philosophy can only be applied in different perspective. It is in the reverse and it is a matter of looking at a half filled glass. Is it half filled or half empty? It means very differently to different people. So, we can argue until the cows come home and still we cannot agree with each other.

We can agree to disagree and we can have our own wisdom to comfort us. We can aim high and console our self ir we get half or choose to expects nothing and treat any rewards as a bonus. Both approaches are very difficult to accomplished unless we have enough kind compassion or loving kindness to be humble to expects nothing.

I shall leave the matter for all of you to ponder and come to your own conclusion. There are so many ways to reach happiness and you have to choose your own way because it is your own life.

Namaste.