Third day of my dharma test.

This is the third day of not talking to my sister after our verbal entanglement. This is another test of my kind compassion to living beings. Even if she was my sister for so many years and each time we quarrel, we make up after a few days. But, the hurt this round was seem to be deeper and more hurtful. Maybe this is because of my age, I am becoming more unforgiving. But, my re-action to this test was cool. Abit uncomfortable but cool. When I am cool, I became more worried. This situation is because I have no urgency to make up and I would like to test my patience and tolerance. If I prolong the silence, it may become permanent silence and the relationship will be finished.

Life has come to a stage of flatness and the ego is getting more and more prefixed. Who makes the first move and it is just like driving a car head-on with another car and who turn at the last minute will lose. It is a risky game and it is a test of nerves. Is it the excitement I looking for or keeping my plight or ego and test to see who will win. It is really meaningless and dangerous but the challenge could be exciting.

If we don't care less or there is no urgency, it could mean that the relationship is at the tail end. The sparks have gone and the fire is dimming. If we can get by as happy as ever and living like before, it does not matter anymore.

A strong relationship must be able to stand the heat and the blows. There should be a deep understanding of each other and we can restrain our verbal or physical response. When at the heat of the moment, we should be aware of what we are saying or doing. If we lost control and let our feeling explore, the consequences could be unbearable and this could spell the end of the relationship. Sometimes, madness over ran us and we lost control and if this
happens, the one who do wrong must be the first to apologize. This is usually the manner of a good relationship. The give and take must be there.

Well, this time around, my dharma have been tested and the outcome is not known as yet. I have to think hard to manage myself and the situation. As llong as everybody is happy including myself, it is okay to agree to disagree. There is no need to force other people to agree with us but let us stay disagreed and yet be best of friends. We should not live within the confinement and limits set by ourself. We should learn and understand that there should not be a constrain to disagree. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. If we are upset with someone who disagree with us and you want to force to agree with us, it will be a childish and silly act. The constrain is imposed by ourself.

Namaste.