The fear in me.

It is funny. When our phone ring after mid night, most of the time, it  bring bad news. I remember receiving a call at 4am when my father died in the hospital and I have to rush there to see him for the last time. This memory have became a demon and have been haunting me for a long time. Perhaps, this incident have broken my guts.

I am very worried for the safety of my love ones. The last time was when my daughter met an accident with a biker and I was throw off my rythem when I heard the news. I rush there with my wife and I was nervous through the whole journey.  I think of the worse case and I am fearful.

 Through my past experience, the more I treasure a person, the more I worry for him or her. I always have the worse situation in my mind. I remain the same despite so many incidents which turn out to be not as bad as it seem. The fear is eating in me between the time I heard of the incident and the time I know the true situation. Well, as I have mentioned before "fear manifest fear" especially the manifestation came from past experience and thoughts.

I have the probia of crossing roads as I have heard of some many incidents of bad drivers and silly bikers. When a car is far away, I will call up and warn my wife or my family members with me. Sometimes, they scold me for over re-acting. This is just me especially when I am in the open.  Even walking under the ladder, I would check out whether there is any danger or not before walking under it. I am fearful of the ladder whether something will fall from the sky and cause the ladder to collapse on me.

What I am trying to convey is that everyone of us have a fear and if other people bring danger close to us or our love ones, we will shout at them or chase them away. This is the protective or defensive instinct in most of us and this is natural. Whether it is over re-acting or been prudence, it is for all of us to judge but end of the day, we should keep ourself and over love one safe and sound.

You have to explore and know your demon and manage it well.

Namaste.