When some driver drove his car into my lane , I am upset and would wanted to scold the driver badly. That was what happen to me last eveing , a driver just shalve his old car into my lane suddenly while I was driving home. Some nasty thoughts just took over from me. I could have bang his car or pull out driver and scolded him properly or ask him to fly kite.
Yes, the nasty thoughts just shoot up in my head and push my anger to a melting point. I would kill him or wack him up but all these are just thoughts and it has not trigger me to do any physical movement. Yeah, the thoughts is only killing me while that stupid fella , just don't realized it. What am I doing to myself by letting these thoughts troubled me badly. This is my choice but yet , the thoughts took over me and make me act like a bloody fool. Why am I hurting myself without letting the other fella knows or feel it .
This happeing showed that we are not the master of ownself. Our emotions and feeling could take over from us and give us sleepless nights or torturing our body. It is just like opening my car window and shout at him " Fuck you , fellas ' . But does these words hurt him ? Maybe he did not even realized it that you are upset and he has the pleasure to laugh at it. " Haha , that stupid fella ". I am suffering and punished by my negative emotions and that fella can enjoy the instance. I must be stupid lah.
It is not always , someone do it to me but at times, I do it on to other people. Just like one of the day , where I suddenly changed lane and the driver behind was honking him loudly and I just smile and tell myself , that mad fella, honking like an idiot. Yeah, we feel not affected at all by such instances.
Yeah, you do it one day and I do it one day , this is a natural routine but the anger and displeasure from these instances really makes me feel helpless with my emotiions. It is easy to say then done. But I have to try to control my focus and also my own perception of things. Yes , this is all within us.
Namaste.
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