our journey through life

Suddenly at this senior age, I came to realize the fragility of life and as we aged some friends just drop off or passes away and our health gets weaker during the journey.  I have told you before that some people who takes good care of themselves but found out that they have contact serious illness or the big C while those people who live the most rugged life could be ill free.  Even those very close to GOD and have been praying intimately with GOD suffers from serious illness or the big C.  In other words ,there are no protection for illness.

In the old Chinese saying, if the God fo Hade wants us to die at certain time , we cannot asked to be deferred on our death.   Any extension of time is rather impossible and absolute. 

As my age grow, I have to do many things to maintain my health and each step is getting difficult as we aged.  There so many critical illness and most insurance company offers 36 types of critical illness and as we advance , the list gets shorter and shorter until there is no more insurance coverage for certain disease as we aged.  But , on the other hand , the cost of insurance or treatment gets higher by the day.  An eye operation for cataract was only RM5K some years ago and now it cost more than RM8K for each eye.  How can we bear the cost especially those earned hand to mouth and it is a matter of waiting to die.  Reality bites and we all in trouble if we don't plan.  If we cannot get a RM1 million coverage , a RM100K coverage could help as well if not much.

I was admitted to a hospital and I have to go through panel doctors to check for the outcome while I have to go through imaging, x-ray and a CT scan in one morning and I think my stay at the Hospital for two days cost me RM5k or more.  What if I choose to go to a clinic and get my problem solved without further medical check up, it will only cost me RM150 for the treatment.  The difference is the comfort of the hospital compared to a clinic and also the availability of the equipment to check my problem.  I makes me feel that the Doctors have a syndicat3e and a plan to catch the big fish if they see want.  I have to force to do all the checking without them asking me.  What a conspiracy.

Anyway, I know my outcome and I have to be careful on my lifestyle , food and movement .  What needs to be done , needs to be done.  It maybe a good way or a bad way , but nothing is absolute right or wrong. 

Namaste.

A mad snake

Someone sent me an interesting story about  the battle between a snake and a saw. One day, the snake was hit by a revolving as it was moving around and the snake turn to coil around the saw to squeeze it to death and in the process, it suffers more pain.  Due to the pain, it turn around to bite the saw and got killed.  The lesson  is never to fight something that you dun know and in return, get hurt and killed.  To live a life in peace is knowing who is your opponent and win the battle a thousand times or live like and ostrich and get killed unnecessary. 

I recalled the incident yesterday at my yoga class.  My teacher's father have change the roof of a nearby house which was close to the gym  and the chemical smell was still heavy and I hesitated to attend the class and the teacher asked me to decide whether to stay or the workout or to leave the gym .  I was hesitant which she keep pushing me for an answer. Finally, I stayed as I want to workout with my wife who was coming later. She behave like the mad snake and started to get nasty with me.
I wanted to tell her off as it is my right to decide whether to stay or to go home and why does she need to hurry me. 

All the time I believed she is a bad business person.  In my life, I found that those skillful people are bad business  man.  They are very proud of what they can do and can never accept criticism to their work.  They re-act with anger and get themselves hurt in return.  There are many actors or artist who have been cheated of their earning or savings as they have no business sense except the pride over their work.  They become emotional when someone criticize their work as they can see perfections in their work and is not really sensible.

All customers are like King while we cannot fight the king as they have their own choice ,beliefs and likings.  If they serve with anger and emotions , they are just driving away the customers and their business cannot last for long.

Nevertheless, I am in control , sober and patience and does not that the happening to hurt us.

Namaste.

Where was I for the past few months ?

I just stop writing for a few weeks after my return form my China trip.  It was done and gone and I am back to work.  It was one chapter of my life in my life after taking leave for a few days.  Yes, life is make up all these chapters and a lot of things have happen in within these few weeks. 

My sister in law, M have been traveling and her last stop was Turkey and she shown us a few very beautiful photo of the place. She is a cancer survival and we hope that she will be well after her cancerous part was removed.  I was told that she is going for an MRI for her stomach and hopefully nothing serious is found.  She is an extremely healthy person before the discovery of her condition. She does fast walking almost every day , yoga and gym .  She is eating a proper diet and all the good food before the discovery of the cancer.  I hope GOD have mercy on her and return her to the path of good health. 

My sister is in the same condition without her memory but she looks healthy even as she is bedridden but remained a stranger to me.  Some times , she look at me for a long time and smile and I hope she is slowly getting her memory back.  It is been hopeful and without hope life will be nothing and boring.  My daughter May told me that she will do everything to get a smile from her.  This is really warm and touching.

For me, the pain in my body is slowly getting worst and I hope my yoga and weekly massage sessions will go me good.  I have started to go to the gym again and hopefully, I can maintain the discipline. We always go for something good and shy away from exercise or painful experience during the work outs . This is human nature to be comfortable. Otherwise, life should be good for me.

Time is the master and we should not be too comfortable as age with catch up with us and put us down. I have seen the path and we can only defer the pain by doing all the exercise and eating all the good food but eventually, the end will come . This is unavoidable as this is the only path. 

There are many people who wants to prolong life as long as possible by whatever means to enjoy all the goodness in life.  There is a limit even if you have all the riches in the world . Time is the master and death is certain.

Namaste.

It never rains , it pours

This is part of a lyric from the song " It never rain in California" .. but for the Penang State , it pours and pours until the flood is up to  our neck.  It is a disaster and yet there are people take the chance to "play politics ". This kind of stupid people who open their mouth without thinking and saying hurting things to the people who lost everything in the flood.   There is chairs that cannot be sit on , stove that cannot operate  and beds that cannot sleep as the flood water have wiped off all these functions.

I drove around my neighborhood on last Sunday, it was a horrible sight around my home . Mud on the side of the roads and in the house of residents , fallen trees, potholes on the road, water marks on the walls and rotten things by the road side and broken down vehicles on the road ,etc.  It was really a sorry sight . How can these MCA politicians still joked about it. No wonder they are almost wiped off with their senseless writing and speeches.

I feel sorry as I was caught in a jam at traffic lights that it not function and long queues of cars making a travel to nowhere as their homes become accessible. It was reported that 7 people have died in the flood. More rain will be coming to the state and we are warned to be prepared for any eventualities.  How can people joked and hit out at our CM LGE who is trying to control the damages and I was told that he cried when he see the disaster on the roads and home of the affected people.

I have gone through the experience when my mum stays at Farlim. The water level was up to my chest and as I walk in through the water , there is a current underneath which try to sweep you off your feet and into your destiny.   That was the worst experience I have encountered and all the electrical items and furniture was affected and I see my mum sitting on top of a table.  She was sad and tired.  It must be a very bad experience for her .

I was told that the flood this time at the same place was over the head of a 5ft 5 inch person and it was a record flood level in the state of Penang.  yeah, it  must be frightening as I can no longer can walk through this level of flood. 

I hope and pray to Heaven to have mercy on everyone and less suffering on Earth.

Namaste.

The day , Penang hitted by severe rain and flood

It is just like the heaven opens up and let all the water fell on Penang state . It was raining the whole day through with different tandem of rain fall , some lighter some times heavier.  It keep raining dogs and cats and the water level on different part of the island rose gradually.  It was like the heaven crying non-stop and her tears fill up the small island of Penang.

It started on Saturday and in the middle of the night when my daughter May called out to me that her room is flooded. My house is sitting on a hill lock and if my house is flooded, the whole island will be under water.  I rushed to her room and find out that my maid have not shut the window properly and water was flowing into my daughter's room.  The floor was filled with water and it takes me a short time to clean it up.  The problem was with the defective window panes. I put a layer of plastic to prevent the rain water to come into the room and the problem was resolved.

On Sunday, I rode around to buy breakfast and saw the effect of the heavy rain on the surrounding environment , there was mud on every road and most home have to clean out the mud from the house. Hawkers and coffee shops have to close for the day as the wind and rain have caused havoc to their stalls and access road to their place.  Trees were fallen and the sight of flood was widespread and cars broke down by or in the middle of the road.  The traffic lights were not working and massive jams on the junctions and it is back to old days of Police manually managing the traffic.  What a mess .

It was like a war torn zone with people unable to cook because their house is in a mess with electricity interruptions .  I tried to order pizza but the wait is so long that I need to give it up.  The normal service of 10 to 15 minutes dragged to 45 minutes.  What a mess.

Now, the State have to spend money to clean up the place , repair the roads and improve drainage.  It will be a lot of work before everything goes back to normal.  Our Met Department forecast more rain in the coming weeks and this news horrifies me as this will bring more unpleasantness and messy derail to our normal routine.

So, Heaven have mercy on us when next time the rain comes again.

Namaste.

My trip to China

Last week, I went on a family tour of China , through Kunming , Tar li and Lichiang sand came back totally exhausted from the trip, There was a lot of walking and traveling on the bus moving from Kunming to Ta Li and Lichang and back to Kunming to fly home.  The traveling took three days in total of our 7 days trip.  You can wonder how much time will it take.  It was disappointing in the first two days and it was better in the last two days.

The first two days was seeing old cities and parks and shopping at night at the old cities and it is like an old village with many shops and cottage industries for you to buy their crafts.  Lots of walking and many shops are repeated with the same business.  For the food, it was bad taste with so much oil and salt. It was a bad eating experience.

On the way back to Kunming, we had the best noodle  ie  the one meter noodle which was special and good . this is the best food after all for the trip.

On the second day in Kunming , we have a very good experience .  Cable car to the snow mountain , visit to the stone village,  went to a big cave by cable car and climb inside the cave which is big and enormous.  They film the monkey God movie in the cave and other several movies using the original scenes in the cave.  It was an experience.

The village market in Kunming was one of the best and also the shopping area with Big Mac and KFC outlets.  The local foods sucks except the food in the Malls which was quite nice.

My overall rating for the trip to China is 5 out of 10.   I don't intent to travel this route again.  Once is enough . 

Namaste.

My horrible dream

I had a dream but it is not the same as Martin Luther King's dream but a horrified dream.   It just happen a few days ago and I am wondering what kind of message it brings to me.  I have been asking around what message it is sending to me but to no avail.  It is just a horrified dream.

It goes like this ......

I have checked into a hotel with my wife and sister in law . Both of them checking in the room first while I parked my car and walk up to the room.  When I open the door of the hotel room , I saw my wife seating on the bed while my sister in law was in the toilet.  I started to talk to my wife but no words came out from my mouth and my wife was also struggling to talk but there was no words coming out of her mouth.  Both of us was struggling to talk while my sister in law came out of the bath room and remained silent.  All of us packed our bags and get out of the room and while walking down the stairs , I turned back and saw a women at an open lift staring at us .  She is middle aged and wearing a white blouse and a slight dark pants, she is not ugly but quite pleasant looking.  The dream just end here as I was awaken by my wite who tapped me on my back to wake me up.

I want to interpret the dream and continued to flash back to the dream to continue the episode but it just broke off at that point.

Every dream have a message but it is subjected to a lot of interpretation.  We have to get a proper advise , otherwise, we will be subjected to a lot of abuse or unnecessary fear.

Lets stop at this point and let the future unrolled by itself.

Namaste.

Moody moods

We, human beings are full of emotions and moods.  I have written about the recipe of our emotions and moods.  It is a mixture of smell, sight ,feel, noise and taste . All these combination of these factors will create a taste or a mood.  Bad smell, ugly sight, loud noise and chilli taste could create an explosive mood or foul emotion . The extent of each factor and its combination will give us a different degree of anger, foulness or aggressiveness.  We have to be aware of these factors or spices of life.

For those monks, they often have six dots on their bald heads and each dot represent a factor and when it arises in these discipline monk's thoughts or feel , they could suppress it and reduce its impact on their mood.  It is just like a measuring pen, if the temperature goes up, they dip in cold water to reduce its impact.

For health reasons, some people like Mao Tze Dong, he dip or swim in ice cold water to control their body temperature and also the coolness in their head.  If we have tasted the extreme , it is easy to control the moderates.  This is the logic for their strange behavior .  If you can control your body heat or your feelings in the cold water, you will be able to control the six elements in your body as shown above.

In yoga, there is a method to control one's re-action to sex , it is called Tantra yoga. It involves a male and female yogi to practice yoga together and in close proximity and sometimes to meditate in nude facing each other. This is to control the feeling and emotions in their body. ln hot yoga, it is also having the same logic, it is to pose a yoga pose in extreme heat and you have to use your mind and core to your pose in extreme heat. The feeling of coldness or strong heat in one's body could make you aware and control your thoughts. For those swimmers, they merged themselves into a swimming pool and hold their breath for 30 seconds to 1 minute to expose themselves to extremism and they can learn how to control their body re-action. 

The logic is that once you are expose to extremism , your body will be able to handle a range between light and extremism.   Push your limit and your new limit will be your limit . So keep pushing until you know what is really your limit.

Namaste.

To love or be loved ?

Is the glass half full or half empty ?  How are you going to interpret it ?  It has a total different perspective of looking at this sight.  To say it is half full, it will be a positive thought and to say it is half empty is looking at the negative aspect.  Are you a positive or negative person ?  It depends on your interpretation .

Last night , I saw a video and the speaker was asking about our choice of relationship. It was quite an interesting experience. She asked how many of the audience will choose a partner that loves them and most of the people raise their hands . In another question , she asked how many will choose a mate that we love ? Only a few people raise their hands.  She said this is the normal choice that people will choose mates that love them more. 

She goes on to tell the audience from her personal experience.  When she was in the University , she has four boy friends and all of them loved her so much that she felt so happy and delighted. Finally, she choose one of them who loved her the most and she got married.  On the eve of the wedding, the bridegroom ran off and left a note.  She was devastated and she cried for many days and night for as long as she can remembered.  She look through the note with aw .  The bridegroom asked a few questions which she cannot answer ie do you know what I like to eat ? what are the books I like to read or the movies , I like to watch, etc and he change so much to make her happy and finally, he felt that enough is enough and he ran off .

The speaker says finally he found a true love.  A mate that she loved so much and she changed so much because of him.   She becomes a better person and learn the art to give instead of to take only.  She felt so much a person that cares and love instead of been loved.  She goes out of her mold and her box to become a bigger and more accepting person.  She realized the change and she likes it.

From this story, it often takes a dramatic happening to change a person and it is a norm that all of us are takers instead of givers.  We like people to give to us effortlessly and instead of working our guts out to serve another person.  This is the human nature but if we choose to give, it will open up our heart and nature to be a more balanced person.

Namaste

My lousy mood on a raining Penang Day

lately, I am becoming intolerable towards traffic jams and motor bikes .  In Penang , when it rains, the traffic volume will be flooded with cars especially involving those  " biking travelers" using cars on raining days.  It just become so unbearable with those irregular car users .

I think the behavior of these irregular car users is like they are the king of the road or they think their cars are like bikes which can easily zoom in and out of the traffic.  Jumping lanes is so regular especially on a raining day when all of us have our chorus or program.  The cars will search for every inch and space on the road to move forward even if means to inconvenient others. 

On a raining day, an inch is very important to move forward even if it means a second more to reach their destination.  This skill and expertise is not common anyway but in a raining Penang day. There is a saying " a little by little , it will form a mountain " . Saving 60 seconds will mean to reach our destination by a minute .   A minute early rather than a minute late is so important in our daily routine. So, you can see how stress is on a " raining Penang day".

But if we look at a different prospect , some people can save 60 seconds but how doses it do, it wasted more time for the people who are behind them.  Just take example today, one big lorry getting into a petrol station and it blocks the whole of Green lane and turn three lanes into one lane . How do you think it impact the following traffic.  Why is this lorry driver wanted to pump petrol into the petrol station at 8am in the morning at the peak of the rushing hours.  Can he do this at 10am after the traffic's rushing hours.  What kind of mentality do they have ?  Stupid isn't it .

It is just an example but this is the same happening on a raining Penang day. Everywhere is selfish people who wants to be " 60 seconds early " before others.  It is a "save a 60 seconds " for these selfish people but it could make it into a 60 minutes for others .  It is not just a simple equation but a complex happening at the behind.

So, please realize and be aware.

Rgds

Yeah, I have been missing

What is happening to me and my blog ? I have been missing for weeks or month .  Yeah , just too busy with my work and my life.  Have to balance a lot of things after the Penang Bridge was on maintenance and I have been leaving early for work and reaching home late after work.  What kind of life having to be stuck on the bridge for 30 minutes to an hour or two at crawling pace ? Much displeasure as I can assure you.

Balance of life is very important , spreading our time evenly for work , pleasure and rest .  Much less time now as the days become shorter with so much happenings around me. Where has all the spare time gone ? or am I focusing on more small things ? Nevertheless, when things are getting less ie no of remaining years , there are more urgencies to do our things in our bucket list. 

Oh , how I wish to get back all the lost times and to start all over again but there is no panic, just a lot of wasted days and wasted nights when I am young.  Is this my regrets ? yet it is not . 

Have seen my sister getting better through the past months but yet she still have not gone back to reality with us.  She is still trapped in her lost world.  When I look at her , I feel my heart break and my tears swell.  With a slight change of fate, she is lost into her own world .  I have strong hope for her to break through and come back to us in this real world but each time , she remained trapped.  I have been praying and asking GOD to let her come back to this real world but to no avail.  This is her path now or forever and we will need to see whether she can break out. It all depends on the path of her life now.  We cannot do much except to wait and be good to her in the meantime.

All those people around her have gone back to their own life and leaving her as a well " cared for" life after paying their share of the expenses.  To see her or not to see her , makes no difference now as she is trapped in her own world while we are trapped in our lives.  There is no difference and one of the monk who saw my sister told me that she is better of in her own world and do not accumulate anymore sins in her life and only let her own karma to unfold her path.

Well , everything is fated and let it be .. this is the only way I can explain my lost track.

Namaste.

life is too short

I watched a video on my face book and this old guy was on a 1st date with his girl friend and he said that life is too too short.  We gets old with a blink of an eye and next month , we fall dead.

He told that his wife have passed away seven years ago and his son much earlier due to bleeding in the brain after a football match.  Now, he is tried to find another mate to pass his remaining years before he die.  He looks back and tell his girlfriend that he has lived his life in full and there should not be any regrets.  The bad things is that we die with regrets most of the time for unfulfilled wishes .

Yeah, after looking at the video ,  I could feel that life is really very very short and it seems that I was young yesterday and now , I am old and getting older very soon.

I wonder whether I have lived my life in full and without regrets. But , until now , I have regrets and there is no way  I can turned the clock back and relive it with a difference. There is no second change now. I can only live and live forward and try to accomplish what I have not done and find my passions to complete it.

Like I mentioned before  days , turn into weeks and weeks turn into months and then years and we passes on. There is no choice and the end is the same for all.  We come with nothing and go with nothing. Only memories are left behind for a short while.

It does matter what is good or bad or right or wrong . It is a matter of perceptions.  What his heavan or hell, it is matter of perceptions and brain washing by the people or books around us.  Everything is an illusion and fake. What we live is real in the current month.

Lets live, eat , sleep and love well.

Namaste.

Pouring rain

It has been raining since late last night and it keeps pouring until there was massive floods in my area, Farlim.  The water flows from the hills and the higher areas to the roads in front of all seasons and the water raise to a chest high ..  It was a bad day as I was caught in the midst of things.

It was jam as I took the first corner and the queue was long and slow.  When I reach the first traffic light , I could see the cars turning into All seasons and after a short reach, the flood come into my full vision.  I kept going and the water keep rising until I decided to turn back as the flood opens up into a bigger and bigger area. I don't know whether the car will get stalled or not and it is better to turn back from this risk.. Going back to my house was no issue as the traffic in this direction was few.  I stay back in my house as the traffic jam flow towards my house and what I can do is to stay back and wait for the water to slide back.  After awhile, I wanted to check it out and drive my car out towards the direction of the traffic light .. Again , the flood in front of All seasons have not recede and I was forced to move forward towards Air Itam road.  It was a massive jam on this road and I was stuck.

After 20 minutes, my wife call me to check my location and I told her that I was still in the same location and not any further.  She told me that the flood has receded near all Seasons and I make a U turn back and go towards that direction . Yes, the flood have receded and I kept moving towards all seasons and it gradually opens up as the traffic disperse.

it was a smooth drive after the Hokkien cemetery area and moving into Batu Lanchang lane and towards green lane and it really was a smooth ride towards my factory.

It is not a matter of inconvenience but the time of the rain and the wind and the maintenance on the Penang bridge .  The combination of these various factors can make our lives more complicated and uncomfortable.  By one factor , it is already messy and chaotic and if with more disaster , we will be doomed if the traffic does not clear in time.

Namaste.

Life flow

There are events in our daily life which is changing all the time.  The maintenance of the Penang Bridge is one of the happening in many people's life, Rather the announcement changes the lives of many people staying in the Penang Island and the mainland especially for Penang Island people working in the main land or vice versa.

The announcement of the Penang Bridge authority that the bridge will be under repair for six months and caused a certain kind of repulsion in the heart of its local people.  There will be a jam which could change the daily working life of the people working on the island or the main land.  How long would it take is the next big question ? 

Now it is  in the third week and there are times that the traffic took 10 to 15 minutes to cross the bridge if the repair or closure of the bridge lanes is mild and not at the working hours.  But, people rushing across the straits for work will depends on their luck of the day whether there is any major repairs or not.  If the authorities closed one lane for their work on each side ,then the traffic will take two hours at the most to cross the bridge from both sides. If it rains and on a long weekend holidays, the jam could be much worse and longer as cars will be moving into Penang Island and whatever goes into the island , it has to come out from the island. This makes the traffic jam even worst.

Life will not be easy for the next 6 months of repair and sometimes, we could reach our office too early and at other times, we will be able to reach our workplace late.  It depends on the level of the repair on the bridge.

There is a suggestion to use the ferry or the 2nd bridge but it is never the same as these access is too limited or way apart form each other.

Life will be more difficult before it can get safer but for some , it will not be tolerable and there could be a switching of places for those staying in Prai to move over Penang Island if they work on the island and the same will happen for those staying on the island to move to Prai.  It is may force a change of job or a change in their residence.

Any how ,  a good luck to all these guys.

Rgds

Nothing moves , nothing happens

A lot of things happen when there is an action .  The theory of nothing moves, nothing happens. However, there are people who can sit the whole day and expecting something to happen.  If things do happen, it is not because of this people who did nothing , it is happening because there is an action being done by someone else and this movement passes through you and something happens on its ways involving you.  You are activated because someone's action.

So basically, it is nothing for nothing and it is only been pushed by someone's action whether it is good or bad. Nothing moves, nothing happens is like when we move one step , it generates other type of activities as you have change your positions and will cross anther person's path.  The activities will inter-wind among all the going on activities as your position have changed. In this world , there are a lot of activities or life forces which is moving all around us. 

By remaining static, only the forces that move into you will affect your happenings in your life. But, when you move, you will cross a lot of other forces and your fate will change , your life will change and everything will change to a bigger or smaller degree.

We are in fear most of the time and if we think about our fear, we will not move a single step as only limited life forces will bump into us and the risk will be minimized.  This is what we think but it may not be right. It all depends on what type of forces bump into us and how it will affect us.

Nothing comes from nothing is a totally different concept but is quite similar to nothing moves , nothing happen but it is used for another philosophical purpose. 

Lets live and lets live ...  come what may, we have a path to follow.  So start moving.


Namaste.

Monday, monday & monday

Many Mondays have passed but Mondays keep coming.  It is only a date for us to identify it is Monday or it can be called another day or just another day. However, Monday is more difficult to pass , it is a day after a weekend and it is to start another week before another rest day. Wow, the start of the whole week.

For me, I have had my massage on Friday and on Sunday.  The pain normally come on the next day of Sunday and it is Monday.  I have been at it for a few weeks now since I took my sister for the massage.  For some MNCs , it could be a rest day because last Saturday was our King's birthday and it should have been replace with an off day today.

The day started off as normal except the big maintenance work on the bridge.  Thinking of an additional 3 hours of traveling everyday to and from work really upsets me.  My wife was quite lucky because the maintenance work on the bridge just started as her office moved to Penang Island.  It was really tiring traveling alone with all the jams.  Haizzz, it is for another year and not days or weeks or month ... A year..

I believe this madness of having to queue and jam to and flow on the bridge could be normal after a while and that is my hope . Otherwise, it will be moody days in the coming year.

The treatment of silence is very torturing as if that we have to stop talking for a total of three hours or more for a day.  Working without talking is not like not working without talking. The silence and quietness will wear us down and bring us to a boring status of our mind. Of course, we can choose to talk on the phone but how long can we talk on the phone..It is sickening as well , right?

Wow, a Monday plus a massive jam from and to work will be tiring and boring.   How can we pass our time on the bridge ?


Namaste.

Sexual libido

My friend told me that his sexual urge have drop drastically after consuming a lot of beer and he is refraining from drinks to stir up his sexual libido  .  A lot of people do not know the difference between libido and erectile dysfunction..  It is actually very simple , low libido , means the urge for sex has dropped and erectile dysfunction is lack of erection of the penis. 

As age gets more senior , the sexual drive fell that is the libido comes in to turn the person from sex or the lost of appetite.  Normally, for a person , any sight or contact with the opposite sex could trigger a horny feeling which could boost the sexual urge and sent blood to the penis to arouse it. This passion or urge drop with age and instead of every day's need , it became once in a week ,once in a month or once in a year.  This is the slowing speed of the sex urge in life like our everyday walk. 

But for erectile dysfunctional , it is the result of some illness ie high blood pressure , diabetic , weak heart  or certain sickness.  It has a different cause of the problem.   If the sickness or disease is control or cured, the penis will become normal.  Nevertheless, the taking of medication could also drive down the urge.

Nowadays, there are many remedies for both weakness, it can through herbs, drugs , food and supplements or even the use of Indian Oil to help the penis to remained firm , strong and thrusting.  I am not a doctor but I have gather the knowledge from reading and through friends and have live long enough to advise the youngsters. 

With this little knowledge, it is better to seek professional help if the urge is still weak and many people work very hard everyday and they wonder why they cannot start a family.  The reason is that each person needs enough rest or contact with the wife before the little kids can come along.  The stress of work , the pressure of the daily life and the diet and lack of exercise , can pull off the man's ability to perform his task to start a family while the wife keeps waiting.

Start young , live healthily  and eat well to have the energy to start a family .

My best wishes for all.

Namaste.

A great pretender

How shall we re-act to a great pretender ?  He or she can talk well and act well and could make you very happy but he or she can talk a lot of different things behind ur back or to other people.  This is a black face and black heart theory , so technique which is difficult for us to see through.  But , if we step back and re-look at the act and analysed the wordings , then we can recognized the falsehood of all these words and acts.

If we are busy running around about our work , then we cannot see these acts or understand the words, we will be pull in by such acts and we will get trapped .  This is a very dangerous habit of us trying to think or act after hearing half truth words or seeing the half truth act.  We have to slowdown and go into a self awareness mood or mold to understand  all the words and acts which was thrown in our direction. It is liking riding a horse to see the flowers , very thing is blur , so we have to stop the horse and see the flowers clearly to understand.

Some of the actors or actress are of superb skills and they can tell lies without a single blink and can be very convincing.   Hence, what we need to do is to gather a bunch of good friends and be communication with them to make the situation clearly and where our re-actions cannot be wrong again and caused further misunderstanding.

Sometimes, it is better to be a group of friends to prevent those smart and sweet talking pretenders to take advantage of us . It is more so , when we have some hearing impairment to avoid been cheated dearly..

Namaste.

Hot rain calm

Yes, the weather usually move in this way ... first it is hot , then the rain come and after that , calm will prevail.  Yes, like a  family quarrel , first it gets hot and everything is said , then the tears come flowing and then calm after all the crying and shouting.  The weather also behave like a family tussle.

When I was at the seafood restaurant in Bandar Baru , the heavy rain came and it is always heavier on the open space.  The down pour hit at the leaves and bends the trees making it a moving vision and caused much more impact if the heavy rain happened in the concrete township.

I cannot imagine the Hurricane Harvey hitting Texas and Houston and causing all the flooding and havoc and it needs US$180 billion of repair cost.   Maybe, it would just wipe the Penang township of its map and gets to start a fresh for a new township with the amount of cash.  It cannot be imagine how much is the amount of US$180 billion ? 

For some corrupted politicians ,this amount will be like a windfall to them if they get just 1% of this amount ? it will fill up the coffers of 1MDB and revive the company's fortune  making it alive from a dead salted fish situation.  It is really a wonder how nature can do so much damages .

Sometime, bad events can give a new opportunity to renew or revived an old worn out problem if this is look at a different perspective.  There is a belief that when we throw away old things , new things will come and we have a chance to change and evolve again .

Unfortunately, the rain in Malaysia or Penang is only giving floods and not such a devastating impact to the environment .  This is something good and also something bad.

Namaste.

1st day after the long break

Today, Monday is the first working day after a long break.  So much outstanding mails and things to follow up.  Life during the break in KL was pretty hectic , having to visit ST Setia Eco glade's house to check out the renovation before renting it out to an Australia tenant.  It will take another 5 to 10 years to dispose off this asset as most the area around the house is still very much empty.  Wow, another slow investment.  What can we do , just hold and wait .

After visiting the house, we went to the factory outlet at Mitsui square near to the Airport and there was so many branded shops and even offering 50% to 70% but after the discount it was still expensive.  It could be a marked and discount technique.  But found some cheap stuff and felt contented.  Most my yoga pants and sleeping Ts.

On Saturday  night there was a potluck at my sister in law's apartment  , plentiful of eating and drinks. Felt overfed and over drink .  The sleep that night was plenty eventful with a heavy stomach.  What can we do ? Not much talking but just eat and drink .

The trip from KL to Penang on Sunday was slow as it was raining most of the way while the traffic from Penang to KL was congested and jammed.  I think they will take 8 to 9 hours to go back to KL from Penang. It was raining and one or two minor accidents are delaying the traffic.

Reach home on Sunday at 4.30pm after a heavy lunch at Bandar Baru seafood restaurant .  The food was very good and fresh at the restaurant. Have to rush out on Sunday to arrange a message for my bedridden sister but it was all arrange by my bounty daughter , May.  She has been a great help for looking after my beloved sister.  She has arrived early with my sister and she tried out an expensive package which bites a hole in my pocket...  All the ear drilling and skin cutting , She is really expensive to maintain and makes me dried up all my cash in my pocket each time going out with her.

After all the above, today is a working day despite it has been declared a public holiday by our PM Najib.. what is the point of rewarding the nation for a Sea Games record medal hauls.  Better to reward the Sea Games contingent with financial rewards instead of a public holiday.  Anywhere we have to work as well.  It caused more inconvenience and cost to the Companies operating in this poor business environment.  

Anyway, we have to go through the rough edges to survive this poor business environment.

Namaste.

A day ahead of a long break

It is usually a positive mood ahead of a long holiday break.  I will be going to KL on the coming Friday and tomorrow is also a public holiday celebrating the Merdeka Day.   Well, it should be full of public holiday activities by now but I have not the " in thing' relating to this festival.  What is there to celebrate? Just enjoy the break.

It is a welcome break.  That is it.  Just a break in my work routine. 

So many things that have happen in the past one week and I feel exhausted and worn out.   The stress of the job and the stress which transferred up from my subordinates and the worries over business. 

Lately , business have been quite bad especially the local business and people are not spending.   It looks like money is not enough for so many people.  The malls are quite empty and there are so many commercial houses for rent and there are just no takers.  What is happening to the  economy ?  5.8% growth ? But  business sentiments are still bad.

For an economy to growth at 5.8% , it is a very good sign but if the funds are suck out of the system and into some private accounts , then it is just too bad as the funds are not coming back to the system to make it better.  Money needs to be in circulations as there will be a multiplier effect as business will create more business. But if the funds are suck out, the impact or the multiplier effect will lost its momentum.  How can it be better for all of us ?  Only for those suckers of the funds who will be performing extremely well.

There are so much talk about it , it seems that Malaysia will never see the day where its exchange rate can be severely adjusted back to reflect the proper sentiments.

Namaste.

The last weekend with my sister

I was with my sister on Sunday.  At that time, I think she is in connection with me sometimes especially when she look at me and touched my face. Her kind of gentle touching on my face really moves me to tears . Her light tapping and stroking my hand put me in the perception that she recognized me but she is not telling me. 

Her health have much improved and she has the little reddish glow on her face and her mischievous smile. I still cannot understand why she is still trapped in her thoughts and not coming out to greet me and I hope someday , she will break out of her trapped mind. 

I keep on calling her name is a soft tone .. sister , sister ,sister  and hope she will reply me and hug me .  I have been trying to stir her memories of the good time with her and maybe she is trying to reach out to me at times but I can only guess.  If only she open her voice and start telling me , I can only guess that we have contact at times.

The time flies and now it is in the 7 month or more , yet she is still in silence despite her health have improved much. I could see the coldness in my relative who can showed up a few days in a month but yet trying to show concern for her and want a say in the daily management of my sister.  I wonder sometimes why they need to bother ?  Just go on with their lives and don't put obstacles in the way to make my sister live more.

I am not looking for a long time for my sister to live but I want her to really live rather than lying on the bed and playing with her fingers and touching everything she can get her hands on  to pass her time. What is there to live in this manner ?  I wonder how she is wondering in her mind ?  How can I removed the trap and let her be free again. Can GOD help me to free her ? I have been praying every day for divine help but I can only remained hopeful..  Just in case one day, she came back to her normal self and acknowledge my presence and my love for her.

I loved you very much, my sister .......


Rgds

Another week have passed ....

Wow, now it is late August and September is around the corner. Another week and August will be gone .  It is now a raining season with alternate or continuous days of rain .   Rain and Monday blues don't mixed , It makes it more tiring and difficult to pass.  I have to be aware of it and to accept it ..

It was a pleasant surprise for me as today , I have expected a jam but it turns out to be smooth sailing to my office . I reached my office before 8 am . It is indeed very rare.  My secretary told me ,today is the start of school holidays and the repair on the bridge took a break today as well. These two factors make up for the Monday blues.. 

Why Mondays should be blue ? Blue color is sad and a hard bite on our emotions.  It is a start of a new week  despite it is going to a short week.  Two days of public holidays  ie come Thursday and Friday ... so why should it be blue ?  Nevertheless, it is our mind who is playing this trick on us.  We are fixed at this Monday blues.

Last weekend was hectic , having to attend a weekend Christian talk . It is about the life of a born again Christian who have gone a wrong path believing in the devil until GOD call him back a numerous time to be on a God serving path.  The pastor have gone into drugs , seeing the devil, exhortations , being a nasty character but finally, come back into GOD's path.  It is a wonderful ending but it did strikes me as yet to be GOD  ie the Christian GOD.  

I think there is so many ways of living and living in one's belief is the most important and there are different ways to meet our ultimate creator.  There are roads , many have traveled but there are roads ,less traveled.  It is a choice for us to choose the path we wanted and preferred.

Namaste.

Talk of dogs

My banker girlfriend drop in for lunch with me and  I invited my support staff , A to join me.  During the lunch, my staff , My staff A brought up the subject of dogs in our family and it triggered a lot of talks on dogs and each member started to show off their passion for dogs.  I was not intrigued at all.

I have two dogs  ie one is a poodle and another is a labrado.  My poodle , lucky was like a bitch while my Labrado, Brownie  was an obedient and well behave dog except shitting everywhere except in the right spot.  I lost my labrado for 11 days and it was hell for me for the 11 days and I print posters to ask people to return  to me my dog.  She has been returned to me for a few months now and I still could not find time to talk to her or to teach her. 

Dogs need time to get herself acquainted with people and this point is very important when we rear dogs for companions. If you don't have time for dogs, please do not try to rear anything , especially  dogs.  The small poodle needs you to take care of them while the bigger dog wants you to talk to them each day after work.  By throwing them to their cage or an open area , this will make depress and will make them  behave very weirdly and may attack you if the most unexpected  happenings.

I am not a professional dog lover but I am reluctant put into these two relationship with these bitches . I realized that you really need time to take care of them and have to be humble each time you bend down to clear their shits.  This could be good for the yogi practice and your awareness but definitely this is a job you don't want in the first place.

Namaste.  

My new found freedom

Cheers , my wife is driving to her new office and I will be having my freedom when to leave my office or go to my office.  Wham! Next day came the news that the bridge will be undergoing repair for a year.  "Sh't " Massive jam expected on my way to work and please be prepared. 

The first day of the announcement was still okay and there was not much jam on the bridge but on the second day of the announcement , it took me 1 1/2 hours to work compared to my normal days and second day it was slightly better ,it took me 1 hour to reach my office.  Wow, it depends on the traffic on the road and it is not going to be easy with the blockage on the bridge towards my office. 

Someone told me.  You can used the second bridge but looking at it , it will take much longer time to reach my office as it is a long detour  which involves doing south and going back north again.  What a big circle. It looks like there is no other options and I will need to go to work earlier. But , how to endure this long period of traveling time in the coming year.  What else can we do ?  The 2nd bridge or the ferry..  Nothing is more viable than going through the jam. 

With this thought , I should have my wife together with me lah.  It will not be so boring as we can still talk about things during the jam. This is another perspective of our life . Some new found freedom becomes our nightmare.  So happiness within ourselves also involved external factors like a massive jam which could turn our mood around.

Come to think about the jam , one year wor ?  how to tolerate such delay and I must keep my awareness of the situation in order to control my mood.

Namaste.

The fragility of life

My passion is wavering and sometimes , I felt so low.  I feel that life is so uncertain.  When I came back from Bangladesh last week, on a arrival , I saw a funeral wake in my neighbor's house and I was told that my neighbor's mother have passed away during my trip overseas.

Before I went to overseas, I would see my neighbor's mother everyday washing the front porch of her house as I also was cleaning up my dog's shit every morning.   She seems to be healthy and was actively working around the porch.

The next day, I pay a short visit to my neighbor's house to pay respect to the dead and was told that she died after complaining of vomiting despite  seeing a Chinese herbal doctor.  She die on a Tuesday night.   It was so sudden to her beloved ones.

Suddenly , I feel the fragility of life and anyone could leave this world suddenly even we take good care of our health and every life is seem so designated and we cannot ask for more time when it comes.  Ashes to ashes , dust to dust.  It has been this way and it does not have any another way.

Live well and eat well and life is short and we should not make it shorter . Live well ,eat well and wait for our time.

Namaste.

She isn't heavy , she is my sister

Yeah . It is already 7 months and yet she did not recover their memory despite her health is getting better and she can consumed congee and the soft food.  Nevertheless, she prefers tasty food which she prefer and when she is served a normal congee , she just refused to eat it.  It is getting worst as she will not sallow plain and tasteless food anymore.   It is really a challenge.

Last weekend, my daughter May brought us to the lexus suite hotel in Telok Kumbar and she really enjoy the stay and the food we feed her. She could smile and touch my face when I gets near to her and show my affection for her. I think she really have a good time.

On the Saturday night, the night before my daughter's birthday, we had a Japanese dinner and we served her all the soft Japanese food like salmon, egg  and taufu or bean paste and she really eat the congee very fast . The next day, we went to Wan Thai , a Siamese restaurant and I feed her Tom Yam Kung and she taste it quite well .  She was in the spirit at  lunch time and lift her hands to touch me on my face and my chest.. I could feel a swell in my eyes as my tears came to the edge of my eye.  I have been feeling this happenings a few time before but I managed to hold back the tears.  Yet she is still without her memory but at times, I thought we were connected.

After the two days, we were quite happy that she did feel something different and we will be planning for more such trips in the coming months.  It really makes a difference for her to live as she did before. 

Namaste.

The power of giving

We have to give before the returns comes back and whether it comes back or not, it does not matter.  Why are we keeping all the wealth with us instead of spending and sharing it with others.  We cannot be always taking and taking without giving for the more we have sometimes is not happiness at all without spending or sharing with others. In karma, when we give , we do not expect any returns but it will come back somehow to repay what we give. Karma behaves In its mysterious ways. 

Today, one of my friend wished me a happy Birthday and I invited to meet him at lunch.  Later on , he told me that he is coming to Penang to catch up with old friends and want to know how they are dealing with their life.  Either to retire or work to death.  I think he is in a personal crisis and want an answer from the Establishment.  I don't think he can get an answer as what he need or what is right lies within himself .  Nobody is the same and he has to come with his terms in this life.

For me turning 64 is really a challenge and seems scary . I think this is only for a moment and why do we get worried or scare of what we cannot change.  Just live the best we can and do the best we can for our health.  Everything is a choice like I say many times.  We have the power to decide and all these decisive power lies within us.  It is we that lack the confidence and courage to search within us for an answer.  Life cannot go back now , so we have to decide how to live on.

There is no right or wrong way to live our life and it is only the way we choose ie My Way and with no regrets like what is said in the song " My Way".  No look back , no fear , no emotions but make the decision without looking back to live on our way.

I have written this story before about a monk closing his eyes to meditate.  As he meditate , he heard a noise and he thought that it was a rat. As the sound gets louder and louder , his imagination changed it from a rat to a cat  and to a tiger and later into a wild boar. His mind creates everything and the fear gets stronger and stronger as his imagination goes wild . The mind is doing the trick and when he opens his eyes, he saw that the noise was created by only a tiny mouse. 

In life , it is the same , as we fear , the fear manifest itself and make it into a bigger fear. The fear of dying or the fear of losing everything . So, it starts from the mind and the solution to these imagination is also in our mind.  We control our destiny and our fate which dictates our life.

Namaste.

The mighty mind

I happen to read a statement from Sahguru, an Indian wise man.  Everything starts from the mind, it has to be resolved by the mind.  The emotions of  fear, frustrations , unhappiness , anger ,etc , it comes the mind and it can be stopped or change by the mighty mind itself. It is just like a switch, from the moment of awareness, if you have a trained mind, you can just switch it off and maintain the internal peace within yourself.

Come to think about it, whatever happens it is because of our mind. A uncontrolled mind which could makes our senses and emotions like a bunch of monkeys celebrating in a banana plantation and have a field time. Monkeys are very cheeky and remained restless if it is not trained. You have to tie it up but yet , he or she can make a lot of irritating noise. If you trained the monkey, it can behave well most of the time. 

So the logic and wisdom of this sahguru is very true but the mind have to trained and remained be aware and in firm control.

Namaste.

Wow.. life is a joke

Lately, I have been using a lot of this phase that "life is a joke ". It is real and we have been ignoring this awareness.  Some of us work until we die , some people born with a silver spoon while others choose to live life on their own way and not care about anything in the world.

One of my workaholic friend told me that we must have a career in our life.  I asked her back " what is a career ? To earn more money , to be successful, to be well known or to be powerful.  But what is all these titles or meaning ?  These concepts are build in by the past generations and we are only following our path or their path to be what they are. Are really happy with your career ?  Having money to meet your needs and thousands of people working under you or you are better the billions who is not earning as much as you ?  Meaningless right ? What is a career ? To work you to death ?
It is very funny concept that we have and illusions as well.

We are so intelligent but yet we are so stupid . So stupid to bind by other people's thinking and following the path of other people's life or career. But of course, there are many roles in life and if with no people to manage the establishment , then everything will just collapse. So, it is better to convince the people that they must have a career so that they can work for the Establishment. Otherwise, it will be back to the uncivilized world. So let the stupid people to do the stupid career job and we can live our life the way we want it .

So, a career is stupid unless you like it and like your job.  So, it should not be to build a career but to build an interest and interest that let us live.

Namaste.

Taken a ride into a mine

Life is a joke .  Have you got the experience of someone leading you into a ?\"mine" and got you blown up.  Yes.  yesterday , I have this experience and was severely criticized and humiliated.  It was a bad feeling and it hurts our pride and ego.

My colleague have asked me to present a paper on his behalf and he told me to prepare the material according to his requirement and after that present it on his behalf .  It was an easy job and no big deal. So, I had prepared the material and when I presented it , I was criticized badly for the poor presentation.  I have presented the paper on our current achievement and what we have done but the "boss"  who supposed to be brief wants an action plan to achieve it.  Wei, this is a  big difference in the presentation. What we have done and what we have to do is two different thing and way apart.  One is "as at" and another " how it should be " . The scope is way apart and so much different.

On that purview of " as at"  talk about past actions and how it should be is our plan action in future time and how to achieve it.  Hey, what a blunder and all the angle is wrong. So, the boss failed my report . I can understand it but I have been take  a ride by my colleague.

It was an embarrassing situation and I was very frustrated at the wrong scope of presentation which not only waste my time and everybody's time, I was punched on the face point blank.  Wei, where is link ? Broken communication and wrong expectations.


Namaste.

The love for my sister

Yeah, after 5 months of memory lost , my sister is getting better but still a stranger to me and is still unable to speak.  Yesterday, I took her to a massage and she looks dull and unnoticed during the trip there and I was alone with her and her nurse in the Uber while the daughter was vacationing in Langkawi. 

I sat close to her and hold her lovingly and make sure she look out of the window. She has no re-action except staring in the far distance.  I kept talking to her and kiss her on the cheek on and off to tell her that I loved her very much. No re-actions .

At the massage centre, the people help us to carry her to the room for the massage and during the massaging process, she felt pain and make her face . She looks relax despite the pain.  After the massage, she was seating on the wheel chair while waiting for the Uber to pick us up.. Suddenly, I saw her staring at me and she gave me a smile.. I felt so light hearted , so happy as if she recognized me and give me a smile.  Her stare at me lasted a a few minutes and her smile was so warm. For a moment, I thought we were in touch.

In the car home, she sat relax and fold her leg , the usual way she sat when she was conscious. Her old habit is coming back and I hope her memory also come back slowly..  Suddenly , I felt nothing is more important than to live.  Nothing matters as along as we are living healthy and meaningfully.. We take our time for granted and thinking that we live forever is an illusion.  We better to come out of it and start to live because there is a limitation to time.  We cannot live forever and we better wake up and be aware of this point. 

Yes, nothing can buy time. Not even the billions that we have and when our time is up , it is up . period.

Namaste.

To catch a monkey

How true ?  It is our monkey brain which triggers a lot of mischievous thinking and action .  I just saw a video of how to catch a monkey and it really opens up my mind.  Everything is greed.

In order to catch a monkey in a traditional way is to drill a hole in a coconut so that the monkey can put his palm or hand into the coconut . It must be smaller than the size of the fist of the monkey and tie the coconut to a tree and put a banana or fruit in the coconut.  When the monkey put his hand into the coconut and grap the fruit , his hand cannot come out of the hole in the coconut and you make it panic and the more panic , the monkey the harder they will hold on the fruit and get stuck in the coconut and you have caught a monkey. 

To look at it on the wisdom side, it is like us holding on to our thoughts , our happiness , our money or our anger or negative thoughts about people.  We forget to let go and kept holding on to our thoughts and gets stuck in it.  We become uncontrollable as our anger , our thoughts or our greed drive us on and the harder we hold on it. There goes our happiness and freedom from our emotions.

It is so easy to let go and we will be happy always and in a similar example, is that we pick up a stick on our journey through life and we grip on to the stick and we pick up more sticks forgetting to release the sticks that we pick up.  We ended up with more and more sticks and getting more and more heavier as we go on our trip through life. Why ? Why can't we let go the sticks and travel light and easy and happily. It is all up to us to let go . It is within us to let go but yet , we don't know or refused to let go and suffer all the weights and unhappiness in our journey..

Just drop everything and let go.. there are so many things to do rather than to hold on.

Namaste.

In the name of our father & mother....

This is not a oath in the calling of the Father ( God) or Mother ( Mary) , it is actually the name of our parents.  I have encountered a problem which many Malaysians could have encountered and it is so frustrating . What the &&^%$ is going on ?  Those stupid translators...

I am applying for a maid to take care of my bedridden sister and my application to the immigration dept was rejected. Why ?? I have to prove that my sister is really my sister and this is of course an easy task but it was not.. The spelling of my father's and mother's name was different in my birth certificate from my sister's. How can we proved that my sister is really my sister ?  The frustrating thing is that it was different by one or two alphabets  ie Teng or Theng  or kuo or ko or ku or so and soo and the IC dept refused to issue an amendment. I have to call on the certificate of my brother and sisters and it was found that my parents' name  was also different from all of them.  This means my family is not related at all .

Haiyoo, this could post a problem and it is so difficult to convince the IC office to accept your explanation.  Those old silly translators of the past have created this problem as each translator have their own spelling methods. They are gone but their past  action give the present Malaysian a big problem. Just imagine , a person die without a will , his or her properties and assets will supposedly transfer to their family members like brother , sister , son or daughter but the person's name is spelled slightly wrong on his or her own birth certificates and in the certificates of his or her family members, they will not be related until the cows come home.   The assets and properties will flow on to no man's land. What a waste and sorrowful ?  Hence, this is an advise to my reader to be careful of these small errors in all the important documents to avoid a potential disaster.

Namaste.

When things cannot be changed ....

It is funny why our mind worries over many things and every things.. Actually, it is a wastage of energy and time. If things have happen and we cannot change it or do something about it, then let it be and just follow it through.. Worrying over these issues is useless and wasting our precious time which is so limited and valuable.

For instance, our money is lost and we cannot find it.  Of course ,we feel upset and try to look hard for it.  But, if it is lost forever , let it go and take actions to re-look at our finance and live within our means. If worrying can make the money to come back, then by all means we can continued to worry. If you under the logic and accept the facts, why do you need to worry.. Isn't it an absolute wasteful and meaningless. 

But worrying comes naturally and you feel good about worrying. It keeps you in the  moment of hope and what if ?   If I have done something , then this would not happen.  The hope of doing something to untie the problem , gives a false impression that if it had happen, everything would be alright.  We make our self believe and this gives us hope.

It is nonsensical and foolish.  Our mind is illusional and foolish.. We still keep our hope high when there is no more possibility. We are living in a dream and illusion , the existence of magic to turn the worst situation into good.. It is just foolhardy.

Namaste.

Ginger power

The use of ginger for its medical benefits have gone a long way in the Chinese herbal treatments and it has the ability to improve the immune system  and also get the " wind" out of our body. These are only some of the benefits of ginger. 

Recently, my daughter , May introduced to me a concentrated ginger lotion made into a pad for my tired eyes.  It was very cooling and relax and my eyes was doing better and not so tired after two weeks of treatment.  I have been using it until I have done my cataract operation. After that, I shall continued to use it for the treatment of my tired eyes.

I have also been using the ginger hair wash for a few months now and previously , I was using a French product for my hair wash.. I have been feeling that my hair became more full and healthy .  I want o share this experience with my readers.

Will give more information later.

My cataract operation

What is a cataract ? My simple answer is a growth on top of our eyeballs which could obstruct or impact the sight from our eyes . At a pre-mature stage, it is only some blur vision but if the growth matures and growth into the sight of the eye , you could see only a bright bland and this could be very disturbing to you as your eye sight gets blur or blind to the views outside.

It can be very scary as our world will turn upside down as we lost the sight of our eyes.  At this stage , we have to go for an operation to remove the cataract. It is a simple operation but it it is very expensive.  I think the eye doctors are one of the most well paid profession in the world. 

The operation begins with the chemical drop to dilate the eye after the necessary measuring of the visions to the eyes ie the power, the nerves, the blood pressure, the sugar level and the oxygen rate of the heart. These are the necessary steps to ensure that the operation is accident free.

After all the preparatory work, the Doctor will start the operation by having an open wound on the eye to extract the cataract from the eyes.  It is a simple procedure but the pressure and discomfort is enormous when the eye is put under pressure.  It takes about 10 to 15 minutes to do this procedure and after that , you will have to go through several test to see that the eye is okay or not.  When you open our eyes, the whole vision lights up like a thousand light bulbs and so bright while the old eye is which has not been operated will remained yellow and dull or blur. So, one eye is bright and another un-operated eye will be yellow color in the vision.  It is not preferably to operate on the two eyes together as they could run the risk of infection and if this happen that we cannot see and will become blind until it is properly cured. 

The follow up is quite a lot, with the medical drops which could be used for one week to a period of one month.  It is quite and clumsy procedure and the medical drops have to be done at regular timing to avoid any infection of the operated eye. 

It is quite costly and it is about RM10K for one eye but it can be covered under insurance.

It is a lesson for the young to follow the advise to wear sun=glass in the board day lights to avoid damaging the eyes.

Namaste.

Life at the cross roads

I have a friend who have the problem of the " heart" and she told me that she is at a cross road and I told her this advise.  Life  is a journey and not a destination and if we find our  self on the wrong road or wrong path, we can reverse or choose another road to travel.  Every day  is a new day , a new beginning .  In life , there are many cross roads and we will have decide by our self what to do next..

Our life all depends on our self to decide and don't  blame on GOD or your destiny .  Your destiny is make up of all your own decisions.  It is too easy to blame GOD for all the problems you faced as it makes up of all your decisions at the cross roads.

Nothing is destined as each steps we walk move our life forward in our own journey and our journey makes up of millions of steps .  Each step needs your decision and so consciously or un consciously ,  you decide your destiny.    There is no two ways about it.  You can play the blame game but finally, it is your life.  So , be aware of each step as it will make up your whole journey.

People like to go into a routine  as they feel the comfort within the routine and there is no much things happen and this  is not living per se.  We have to find new grounds and do new things .  Express what you like and don't like and do the things that we want to do before your life expiry.
Live and really live and not live for the sake of living.

Stand up and be heard.  

Namaste.

The word " Fuck "- misused

Lately, I have heard this word more frequently than not.  I think this word have been abused very much and have used repeatedly for the wrong reasons or a wrong occasion.  The real meaning is something intimate and personal . When two parties are in love and turn personal , they make love to each other and in this meaning " they fuck each other " and in an intimate senses, they make love.
However , they are often used a  word to scold another party.

Often then not, we heard people scolding another party " fuck you lah" , you fucking idiot ! , you go fuck yourself or mother fucker or you fucking moron ,etc... the words will be never ending. But , it does not mean that they get intimate with you . They are scolding you.  Why do they keep abusing the word "FUCK".. It is mend to be satisfying but it turns into a satisfying scolding slang.  Where have it started the abusing of this word.

In ancient times, we have heard it already and how far back, I don't think anybody can remember. It is as old as bible or the Tao De Ching or when language has been first used. Such a beautiful expression of love has become a word to abuse and hurt people. what the world have become of ?

In American movies, we can hear so many of this expression and it gets until the point of overdoing it as this words ended up in very sentences in the dialogue.  Is this word kind of making a man more than a man or a women more than a human being.  Is it used to patronize or abuse people or to hurt them deeply like a sword thrust into the body of  the receiver ?  Yes, come to think about it, the word "fuck " acts like a sword to cut into a person's pride or heart.  I think it is the feeling of the person using the word to enjoy the sense of destroying another person by "fucking" them like a sword .

It is so sickening to hear these words , when it is used at the wrong time but it comes out of our mouth so easily from our " fucking" heads.  Lets refrain from this indulgence as it is rude, rough ,crude and abusive. Used it with love rather than use it with anger or hatred.


Namaste.

Do you know where you are going to ? Renewal

This is a title of a song and I have written something with this title .  It is getting more meaningful by the day. What are we waiting for or where are going to ? Time is limited and it will expire one day.  the day will definitely coming even if we choose not to think about it.  Going , going and is gone.

So where are you going to ? The past is gone and only memories remained. Are you going in circles or an endless routine , oiling the wheels of fortune or some doing some hard jobs over and over again.  Getting tired and have no time to think ?  Wei, you have to wake up leh.

I read one wise phase. Your death is not pre-destined , it is due to your own doings , consciously or unconsciously.  You think that by getting into a routine and not taking time to think about yourself and leaving your health to GOD is not your own doing ? Sorry lah. You are wrong.  If you don't pay attention to yourself and blaming GOD for your destiny , it is utterly nonsense.   You must be aware of what you are doing or how your are doing and make an effort to ratify your situation or yourself consciously and leaving it to GOD to do the rest.

Yesterday , I saw an old man walking with a stick , his legs were so think and he is struggling to walk. I try to blame GOD of it but coming to think about it, it might be GOD's doing at all.  I do not know the past of this old man but I think he is the cause of his problem when he is young.  It is not the cause of Karma but his own doing and he could be burying himself at work or in the sand and let the condition happen.  I might be wrong but our destiny is our hands and don't blame others for it.  It is easy to blame as we think we are the perfect being but the fact is cruel and it is us to be blamed if we do not wake up and take charge.

The end is the same for all but the journey there could be different.

Namaste.

Chemistry, the power of attraction

Wait, it is not chemistry per se .  it is human chemistry, the love at first sight or the power of attraction. People just got attached with each other by the fact that they love what they see and feel. It is not the beauty but the way of talking , walking, smiling , the look in the eyes or the natural smell of the body which has nothing to do with the face or the physical shape of the body. 

Some people are just attracted by a single factor or multiple factor and they just love what they see and feel.  The tone of the voice or the arrangement of the teeth or the sway of the body.  Just one look and the heart will just fall.  It can also be the way the person walk or stand , it could be a heart felt impact.

It is a miracle when sometimes, we see an ugly girl with a handsome man or vice versa.  For example , the President of France , Macron who love his teacher which is 30 years older than him. It could be that heaven make them as a pair.  There is no reason , it is just mixed naturally and mold into one and becomes un-separatable . Life is like that and it is just that . No logic , no reason and this this is call true love.

Once I saw a women who was very beautiful on the scene and the man fall in love with her due to her beauty but off screen, when she removed her cosmetics and their fixtures ie prop up bra or dentures, she becomes another person which is unrecognizable. This is the world of illusion and fake impressions.

Two strangers when they met for the first time, can experience the bonding and the feeling that they have known each other for many years or many life time and can talk forever and love each other deeply without any reasons. Whereas , people who have been together for many years and still have no feelings for each other.  This is the magic of chemistry.  

For the natural chemistry, it cannot be fake or illusionary.  The feeling is real and natural and it cannot be replace. This is natural bondage between two person through natural chemistry.

Namaste.

Like a madman

On last Saturday, I attended a potluck dinner at my Yoga teacher's apartment. I was pre-empted that the guard at the entrance is rude , so please be prepared.  I pay no attention to this warning and I went there with my wife.

On reaching the entrance, there was one Indian guard who showed me to the left entrance and later he showed me to the right entrance. When I turned my car to the right entrance, he shouted at me and ask me to park my car in the middle between the entrance. As I was moving my car , he kept shouting and I asked him why is he shouting and he wanted to draw his stick to threaten me.  I kept asking him why is he shouting .  I was upset and the whole incident was not so pleasant as I finally allowed to enter the car park.  I was puzzled at this level of madness and this guy is really hurting himself and me. What is the meaning of all this actions.

I was upset at the dinner and kept repeating the silly act of this guard and my host keep telling me that he is rude to so many people including the apartment owners .  My host's husband who is s Spanish told me that he was ordered out of the swimming pool for wearing an  unacceptable outfit.

As I cool down  I remembered a story from Ajahn Braham.  There was this women who asked her son to go to the market to buy eggs . So he went to the market and when he is about to enter a store selling eggs, there was this man shouting at him repeatedly and he could not enter the store and went home empty handed . His mother asked him why and he told her that the man outside the store kept shouting at him. She asked her son to go back to the store and buy the eggs again.  So the man go back to the store and he notice the man kept shouting at him and he disregard the man and went into the store.  On entering the store, the owner of the store told him that the man outside is mad and he has been scolding all his customers on entering the store.  So , the man realized and became aware that why is he angry with a madman.   The man is mad and how can he become angry with him as the mad man does not understand his action also.  So, if we know the reason, we should all calm down and as if there is nothing happening. This is a very good story and this show that there are so much madness in this world and we have to aware of that so that we are not caught in some nonsense act and be upset about it.

Life like that , there are so much imperfection in this world.

Namaste.

To be liked by people

Yeah, all of us like to be love or like by other people, so we go all out to be nice to the people around us even they are wrong or being nasty go you.  Does this make us happy ?  It is only superficial and is only an illusion.   Why do I care whether people like me or not ? Is being popular or well liked means that we are good  ? Do we need to prove to other people that we are good if we are nice to the nasty people around us.

This artificial sense of being liked or loved is only in our mind.  I have read an article written by a famous Chinese writer " Chung Yeow ". She say that after her death , she don't need her family to arrange a wake for her and let people come to pay respect or send flowers to her wake.  All these are so fake and artificial and hypocratic in their acts.  What she wishes is to ask this people to donate to charity which helps humanity instead of coming and waste their money to pray for her after she die.

Yes, the world is full of hypocracy . People can be so fake and artificial and every thing they do , there is a motive or agenda or ulterior motives.  Yes, the foundation of relationship is so loose and come one light wind, the relation is gone. Gone with the wind.  This is foundation with people but hopefully not all people. People always come to see us with a motive and there is no such thing as free lunches. The agenda may not be immediate but there will be a day when the return is needed in one way or another.

So, in Buddhahood, there is a saying " Bodhi tree is not a tree, mirror on the wall is not a real thing , in reality, nothing comes from nothing , so where does the dusts and sadness rest " .  We come from nothing and go into nothing , why we need to carry our sins  and unhappiness with us.

Let the relationship follow its flow and path.  If it is mend to be , it will happen and if it is not mend to be , how can force it .  Leave it to fate and follow the flow in our life.

Namaste.

The seed

I was waken up by my holy staff one day that I must fulfill my vows to GOD as it is a bad seed if I don't fulfill it. I know but on the other side, people telling me that if I keep  my vow of " fung Sang"  of the fishes into the river , it could spoilt the environment and may also be a bad seed for my act.

I know the impact of Karma , What goes around comes around and it is important to do good merits in order to receive good merits..  We sow what we reap.  So, if I sow a bad seed , it will have a bad merit on me.  So , it is all about 'doing and receiving' the merits.

Yeah, I also promised to be on vegetarian on the 15th and the 1st of every lunar month for six months and I have  kept forgetting the dates.  Yes, you can say, this is an excuse but I am really stuck with stuck with dilemma. 

Once , my cancer struck sister in law asked me " who should I pray to ?" , Jesus or Buddha ?  I was caught dumbfounded,  why ? When in trouble only turn spiritual ? But , don't laugh, many people is like this. They dun remember the "karma" or the seed " concept.  Jesus have promised all the Christians that whoever  come through him , he or she  shall have a place in heaven ,  Where is the need of the seeds ?  We dun need the seeds or plant any good seeds as long as the " farmer" allow us into their garden or field. I am not speaking against the Christians but I am questioning the reality of the seeds.  The logic of the seeds is more logical in life and we get what we do, right ?

Anyhow, my holy staff is not wrong either by warning me of the " seed" philosophy. 

Namaste.

Dream

Our mind play tricks even when we are asleep and it is by way of dreams. 

I dreamt about my sister recovering from her fall and she was walking and talking to me. I was caught by surprise and was so happy as I rush to thank the Lord Buddha for this miracle.  Suddenly , I woke up and it was back to reality . My sister is still in the same condition. Everything shatters in my face.  What I am supposed to do bring her memory back and bring her life back to normal.  I took her for a massage yesterday and she did feel pain in some parts of her body.  Where are you, my dear sister ?  When are you coming home to your real self ?

Last night , I also have another dream..  I dreamt about struggling with my job in Bangladesh.  It was about the takeover of my job.   I could remembered clearly but it was over the selection of the person to take over from me.  It was blur and I feel very confused as I woke up to reality.

Life a dream and dream is life..  It is up to us to see life as it is.   It can be unreal in reality but real in dreams .  However, both in dream and in life, everything is an illusion. The story only last a life time and at the end , it is emptiness again. 

We have to live the best , eat the best , do whatever we want to do, say whatever we want to say but not hurting anybody and belief in what we want to belief . Make fake things real and real things fake. In the end , nothing is real.

Namaste. 

It is not how much you do ....

I have read a very wise phrase and it kept popping up in my mind.  The Guru says : It is not the amount action you took but it is the deep feelings and experiences which will make your life fulfilling and complete.  Think about it , it is so true. We maybe traveling all over the world and  keeping ourselves occupied with activities superficially and drain ourselves tired , it will not help to make us happy.   All these are physical experiences and only appear happy externally. 

Such activities is no meaning if it does not touches ourselves deeply. One good experience could achieve more than thousands or hundreds of activities we have gone through. So, we have focus and see what we want ie physical or mental happiness. 

A few days ago, my niece were chatting on the I-phone . Some wants to go to Australia, one wants NZ and another wants Beijing .  So many diverse places of travel. One of them wants greeneries , one wants to see historical buildings like in Beijing. Each disagreeing with others on the places of visit. All of them have different desires and heart strings and how do we meet their expectations. Can one place settles for all request ? There is no way to meet all their request as each person have their own desires and needs.

Some people just cannot stop moving and they want to be on the move always to experience many things and events .  The more activities the better and it should be fulfilling.  Some really wants to quiet down to search for a deeper inner feeling. The need to find own self and the focus.  One simple thing ... slow down , layback and feel ... feel for yourselves which no amount of activities can replace such feelings.  The immense freedom of the mind , the ultimate. 

It is not how much we have done but how well we have done it is a few ways that matters.

Namaste.

A trip to Saigon

Last few days, I was in Saigon for a family holidays , we stayed at the Saigon Prince Hotel which was right in the middle of the town.  Most of the places we visited is within the walking distance but the long hours of walking could be exhausting. 

We visited the Post office, the War museum , the Nordam cathedral , the Saigon square , the Ben Ha market , Takashima and a lot of the local eateries around the town area.   The Saigon square too one whole afternoon, where my wife have the time of her life shopping all the things she has been looking for.  The foods were good including the coffee and desserts.

Vietnam or Saigon have the influence of the French and the Americans just like Danang in my previous trip to Vietnam. The difference between Danang and Saigon is that the former is a war torn county but Saigon is a very well developed city .  The life in Danang is difficult while Saigon , the people are happier and they sit around in the park and enjoy their evening or squad at the eateries enjoying the street food. 

The next thing you see in Saigon city are the abundant of coffee and tea house.  The people like to drink coffee and tea and not just gather around the place for networking or socializing.   The youngers and the tourist really enjoy a good time in the city.

The eateries served a variety of food ie French food, the local Vietnamese food and good steak house .  The tourist is free to wonder around the town and on a festive mood.  But one thing is very wrong is the traffic on the roads .  It is a bike country where the locals travel around on the different type of motorbikes and behaving like cowboys or cow girls on the street.  They can zip-zap around the streets and the air there is dirty where the locals wear different designed mask which is a fashionable item for the tourist.   Wonderful design the prints .

The Saigon square, the Saigon Centre and various night markets are plentiful selling T-shirts, textile accessories, bags , watches , factory outlet products which could be dirt cheap.  But, you have to remember " good things never cheap, cheap things never good ". So dun expect any extra-ordinary happenings.  Nothing good come out of the cheap things unless you are willing to pay.   The price of good things has also a very good discount.  So don't expect , the unexpected ..

For me , I bought a bad watch which broke down on my way home.   Nice looking but poor quality inside...  So please take care and be careful.

Namaste.

Doing the same thing

Maybe , it is true that some people gets what they expected by doing the same thing everyday. This could be the miracle from GOD or their so called " luck".  How many percent can this happen to the people.  In a logical sense, if we do the same thing everyday and expecting a different result is really crazy and it is almost impossible to get a different result.  Yet, there are many people carrying this hope and wish.  They pray to so many GODs or Deities for the windfall . They pray everyday but without doing anything and remain hopeful.

This is one of the live that people is living and hoping.  Can we live in this way for the rest of our life hoping for a windfall.  Many people will die without knowing the outcome but believe it will happen to them.

This simple thinking is the creation of the society .  Yes, there are many ways to a destination and if we go in different ways, the experience will be different.  The condition of the road will be different , the scenery will be different and the people we meet will be different and the outcome could be different but the end will be death , that is the final destination. Some road is longer , some is shorter and some less traffic and the road condition could be better.   It is a different type of life in each road.

To be different , we have to choose a different road and if we travel in the same road and expecting a different  experience , it would be minimal impact .  IT will be only sunshine or raining for the day but the experience remained the same.

Namaste.

Silly people

In this world, there are a lot of silly people who do not know their direction in life and even to doing stupid decisions on the daily routine matters.  These people are confused and get emotionally upset which complicate their simple thinking without considering any consequences.

It is very simple to life our lives . Just remember who we are working for or working with and keep a good relationship with them.  Today , my wife asked me why I am expecting something back every time I do something.  I told her this is basic human relationship.  Of course, there are disappointments if we have this objective in mind . The best is doing something without expecting any returns. This is very true but what is wrong with expecting something or some appreciation in return.  But , we should not stick to the expected outcome that is all.

If we treat our children well, we expect them to be appreciative and close to us.  Is this something wrong ?  If the child decide not to be appreciative , it is still okay but maybe we have not done enough for them .  Maybe, we have not taken care of them as they have expected.  Basically, when we are good to the people around us, they should be good for us.  Of course, there are unexpected bad results and we refrain from these people who are not appreciative. Period.

If we are good to our staff, we hope that they will be good and remain loyal to us.  If they are not responding , it is okay as we have done what we can do for them.  Maybe, their expectation is too much from us.  One of my friend told we  maintain a distance from people , so that we are not hurt in the process if they become angry , upset and cause us anxiety.

But , we can identify an unappreciative character or silly people who have the wrong expectation from us and in this way, it will not give us the heartaches and the headaches.  So stay away from silly  people .  Period in order to live happily.

Namaste.

TIredness

I know the meaning of Buddha's cycle of life .. birth , age , sickness and death. Through age, sickness will come and we cannot forever maintain our youth . The body's immune system, the nature aging process will reduce resistance and increase strength of the body and finally, we get sick and die.  There is no way to stop the aging process but we can only delay it by using supplements or herbs or chemical interference.  We will definitely need to die as the body ages and wear down.

Until a ripe old age, it is better to die , if not , we will suffer from sickness and pain.. Gradually, we cannot eat , we cannot walk  or hear, It will be a torture if all our abilities start to be disabled. Even, when we pee , the urine will flow on to our pants or spray uncontrollably everywhere and mess up the place we live.  It will be a scary situation when you reach this stage of inability.   It is better to gradually die unless you want to be bed ridden and suffer more.

Nature have away to terminate our life and it is often fated.  When the fateful time comes, we have to go ,then we have to go.  There is no way to extend a moment or given a second chance.  It is time to die , we die. Period.

People go to religious places to pray for long life or healthy life . Unless, we are healthy and alert, we should let it go and let fate take its flow.  Praying is only to give us hope and to make us more comfortable.  People said that through religious their lives is better . It is a yes and no... Yes, it gives the hope to live longer and no , our time or day is numbered.

My Sister in law who has an experience with Cancer told me that her days are numbered . I laughed and tell her that all our days are numbered . It is only that we do not know when. How can we live forever  ? Nonsense.  It is just that we do not normally think about it until it becomes real or near.  Nobody lives forever and even , if we can live forever, it will be an endless days of boredom. Yes, life is fair and simple , once we live , we have to die.

Namaste.