Divorce - a shame ?

This morning, I greed a distant relative a happy new year and she wrote back to ask me whether I know. I know of what she did not mention and I know what she mean. Did you heard from my mum ? What again ? The word never came out. Divorce. Is this a shame ? Maybe for the chinese culture, marriage is make in heaven and we have to stay married until our dying days. Sily, isn't it. I wrote to her and told her what happen is not important but what she wants to do with her life is more important. A marriage is like a house we stay in and if we are not comfortable with it, we sell it and then move on. What so great about it ? Or it could be like a shirt on our back and if we like it , we wear it often and if not, one time is good enough, we throw it away. There is no such thing as we have to stay in a house we are not comfortable in or wear the dress we don't like. What is a relationship ? It has to be both ways and both parties must like it or else, we go separate ways. Life too short for compelling us to accept what we are in, both suffering to keep a relationship alive or together. Have guts to do or say what we want. If we divorce, there is nothing to be shame about and we should feel relieved or released and feel free to move on and do the things we like. Some people tell me that because of the children that why they choose to stay together, Then in this case, it is a choice. It is your personal choice to stay this way and suffer for the children and you deserve it. Do not blame on the children or the situation, it is entitely your choice. Do you live for yourself or for your children ? In the chinese culture, family must be together as one and it would be shameful to break up. Hey, this is the old way of living and now, everyone should live for themselves. Why should you live for your children ? Yes, this is being responsible but you are also responsible for yourself. I have seen people living the whole life for their family , suffering in silence and working like a dog to keep the family together. Have a dozen children and blaming the children for their actions and their suffering. Telling people they want to be released and feel free and it is the family that destroy their dreams and chance to live their life. But everything draws down their decision. Why you want so many kids and then blame them for not being able to live your life. Life is full of choices and you have choosen this way and you deserve it. It is you to be blame for your own suffering and other people's suffering because you are suffering. Namaste.