Yesterday, my banker friend came to see me after lunch. It was a impromptu meeting and there wasn't any agenda or topic to discuss. Suddenly , he bring up the topic of the changes in a person.
His intention is to tell me that time will change a person . I was curious how can it be ? A person's character cannot be changed.
As we go on, he told me that he used to sleep only wearing his undies or brief and it had been going on for so many years and with the air-con fully on. Recently, the air-con have been off intermittenly while he is asleep. He has to wake up a few times in a night to restart his aircon. The reason is that his wife who shares the same room have been swithing it off when she feel cool. Hence, he has the impression that his wife have love him less or have change in her character.
I don't think this is the case. I think it is that when relationship goes old and ripe, our tolerance levevl or our needs change. Instead of hoping that the other better half can take care of us, we start to take care of ourselves and feelings, This is a natural re-action and it is a case of I still love you but I love myself more. If we are aware, then it is not an issue.
I have discuss with a few friends at lunch and he told me that he does not have this feeling. Yeah, this is very personal and no two people is alike or no relationship is alike. The tolerance level of each parties is different between two people at different times. There is a saying "the outcome of a human relationship is the most difficult to control or predict."
I think it is not only time which affects a relationship but rather all the experience during the time or the change in thoughts and the influence of our family and peers will impact it severely.
When all the fireworks is done and gone, the dark sky will remained and this is the basic in life. When we expect nothing, nothing can hurt us.
Namaste.
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