Don't hurt others

I could vividly remembered a wise saying " if you cannot help others , don't hurt them ".  This is a very difficult balance as most of the time, we execute our decision, we have to hurt another human being. There are many such delicate problems.

In any relationship ie husband and wife, the true colors will appear after marriage and especially after period of time. If the relationship is still tolerable, then there is no upheaval or turbulence but if the chemistry don't work anymore, it will affect the children. Is it better to divorce or continued to hold the family together ? Is it fair to the children or the wife or the husband? 

In Asian culture, in its conservative background, the husband and wife will hold together the family for the sake of the children . Both of them will suffer in silence trying to stay or tolerate each other for the children forgetting that they have a life as well.  The hard day and night of suffering can only be gone after the children have grown up and live independently.  By that time, it will be too late for either the husband or the wife to live to start their life of their own.  This is the suffering in the Asian culture.

However, a friend told me that the Asian value of family have actually change a lot as there are many single mothers taking care of their child and struggling as well.  In this case, the mother and father have their own life but the children will be suffering with an uncomplete family. 

It is very difficult to be balance in this area ?  Does holding together a marriage or a splilt is better for all the parties ? So , in such circumstances, it is very difficult not to hurt anyone in the real world.

There is no perfect standard solution and varies very much according to the circumstances of each case. Some times it ends well and some times it is not as the positve and negative factors is constantly changing and evolving.

As I have told a colleague, anything which have to deal with human beings , the outcome is not predictable.  Human relationship problem is the most complex and difficult problem.

Namaste.