Head stand pose - yoga

I have been trying to perform this pose but so far, I can manage to perform this pose against a wall. Since moving to my teacher's new studio, there is no more walls as all the walls are either mirrors or windows.

Now my teacher insisted that I  must perform the head stand without any support and not even with the help of a hop.  Under her watchful eyes, I failed many times trying the pose. My core is not strong enough.

My other yoga friends have told me that doing the head stand is not good for people with hypertension as the blood from our body will rush to my head.  Well, I  have been trying but so far, it is pretty okay for me. I am not going to perform the pose for half an hour but just a 1 minute hold.

I think it is the fear which is holidng me back  and I am afraid that  I will land on my baack In order to get the impact of the head stand and my teacher have asked me to perform Halasana to get the  simple impact.  But, I have been trying very hard to do the head stand.

The advantage of the head stand is that it iwl massage all the vital organs including the head and the brain. If we reverse the flow of the blood , it will make us youthful and energetic. I was told that some aging actresses including Nichol Kidman  perform the head stand pose for 30 minutes to keep the youthful face as the blood will supply oxygen to the brain and the head and exercise the organs.

I am not aiming to be young or youthful but I just refused to give up.  I think this is bccause of the stubborn old and egoistic self. Yeah, I must be able to perform like the other members , But, like the saying goes " I have the passion but not the youthful strength to do it.  Nevertheless, I take it as a challenge to keep me trying and enjoying the exercise.

I have to melt my heart and removed my egoistic self  an d fear before I can attempt to do it.  Yes, Yoga teach us to be gentle to ourself  and  to be patient with our practice. We  have to understand  our body and  build up our confidence to tackle our fear and push ourself to ours the limit. We should not feel guilty for  out failure and it is a personal thing between our body and mind. It is a personal issue.

I have promised myself , I will do it one day and I will be glad and happy. It is not for only the benefits but the sense of achievement.

Namaste.