I have written an article which stress that "evil will prevail if the good people do nothting about it". Fortunately, goodness will act if the evil gets to pwerful. This is the check and balance between these two opposing forces. On a much smaller scale, this checking balance also previal in each human beings.
I have a personal experience and I hope to share with all my reader.
For the past few weeks, I have one staff B, who have been complaining about another staff, E. There was a persistent complain about E's inefficiencies and bad character by B. There chemistry do not mix well and it was getting quiet explosive. I haqve to tell B to back off and to look at her own flaw or weakness. By biting very hard on E and not letting it go, it will not solve the problem. There are so much imperfection in this world and we have to live with it and if possible, we try to improve it. I told B that respect can only be earned and cannot be demanded. I hope she knows what I mean. To solve a problem, we should look inwards instead of looking outwards. We have to improve ourself and remove our flaw instead of looking at something we cannot resolve.
This morning, I encountered the same problem with myself. I was eating breakfast with my sister and after eating , she told me that she is buying a packet of noodle for my niece, K. Immediately, the name of K caused my anger to rise. In the next 30 minutes, I was keep complaining about heerr to my sister.
K is my elderest sister's second daughter and she have a master degree in IT and now, working in an MNC. She stays with my sister and my sister have been taking care of her since birth. But, K is so selfsih and despite earning a good pay, she only contribute a very small amount of her pay to support my sister's monthly expenses, My sister have been very protective of her but I could not tolerate such selfsih act. I asked her whether , K give her any additional allowance after receiving her bonus. She gve an evasive reply and I know that K have not done so. I told my sister to ask from her but she said that it will be difficult. I do not know what is her fear but I think her intention is to live day by day peacefully and without any misgivings. Of course, I also do not want any face off with anybody but it is a duty for any guardians. There is a chinese saying "Good parents ends with spoilted child". This is the basic responsibility. I have been talking to her but my sister is taking it as my displeasure with her and other people is thinking this is ok. But, from behind her back , there is so much negative impression of K.
I remembered an interview between a Hong Kong musician with an interviewer on TV. The interviewer asked the artist whether he is planning to have children after his marriage. The artist told her that he is not planning to have any children and there was a question "why". The answer by the artist was that he don't have time to raise a kid properly because of his job and he do not want to raise a monster as a result. I think this artist is a very responsible person and I respect his will. If we do not have enough financial resources or time to teach our off-spring , why should we have children ? This is something Asians do not understand. It is often the idea of the more the merrier. Foolish.
Coming back to K, I have given up on her but I think my thinking is wrong. But, I am flogging a dead horse and my persistent complain is hurting me or my sister. Our differences in this area often caused conflicts and unhappiness. I often wonder whether it is better to let sleeping dogs lie or persistent to change the circumstances. It is my personal Dharma to change things which is not important to me. It is not my problem but it is my responsibility. Should I stop the persistent attack on K to inspire her to change even if it is impossible. Maybe, it is enough already. I will leave it to my fate and belief.
Some people are imperfect and they remain imperfect for the rest of their life if they are unaware of their weakness. We can never see ourself clearly because our eyes is looking forward. It is a wise move to turn the focus internally and re-assess ourself. There could be flaws in our character which we are unaware. But , to turn our focus inwards is very painful and tough because of the realization of who we are. So, it is easier to point fingers and look outward , so the focus is not inwards.
This is an illusion and all of us are living in a illusive world with a thinking which is favorable to us and which makes our life happier and better. Often, we are not aware of the monster which is becoming of us.
Namaste.
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