Today, my father's death anniversary

My father have died more than 20 years ago and today, we are still praying for him. This ceremony is a Chinese tradition for many generations. Once he is my father, forever he is my father until I am dead. Where is he now? Reborn or still caught in transition or still in a different universe or realm. Can he still remember or recognize me? For a long time, I have not dream about him but it is still in my memory. As I often say, our memeory travels in lightning speed go back in time or a auto flash back. The soeed is faster than the latest train in China travelling 500km per hour.

OF course, I owe my life to my father. If without him, where is me ? He is my source of life. It is pre-destined or by chance. I do not know. Am I reborn or a freshie from some source? I do not know either. There have been many theories explaining the creation of this Univese or life.

But, by nature, I feel some connection with Buddhism. Maybe, it is influenced by my mother or my upbringing. But, my mother believe in Taoism which is a mixture of myth and folklore. My inclination is towards Buddhist philosophy and the the way of life. Every religion is good but Buddhism cultivates goodness in one self and loving kindness to all loving beings. Maybe, I feel that I have some Buddhist attachments in my previous life. Maybe one of those insignificant monk in a temple. A low key fella sweeping the floor and washing the dishes. The great monks from the past could be very important person in this life. Those who can change the world and life of thousands of people. Yes, these are the great guys.

My father have gone more than 20 over years and sooner or later, I will also be gone and my daughter will be still praying to me after I am gone 20 years. Hopefully, she still follows the tradition or maybe, my ashes will be thrown into the sea or the drain if she choose to forget me. Does that matters to me after I am gone? Where is the connection anymore? Just like my father and me, we are linked by only our memories.

Why do we need to be uptight? Everything is only temporary and impermanant. It is a matter of time, we become ashes and disperse in the wind or in the sea. Once again, does it matters? LOL.

Namaste.