Now, It am sitting in Bangkok International Airport waiting for my connecting flight. Just finished another tour of duty to Bangladesh. During my meeting there, I faced a lot of difficult people, who only cares for their interest. Their non-compromising attitude caused me much distress and tense moments. In most cases, I just laugh it off as I know getting anger is like picking up a burning charcoal and throw at the people who hurts you. In the process, we burn our self first before it hurts the people around me or my adversary. Anyway, it is hurtful all around but on one occasion, I blow my top by walking away to calm down and went face my adversary. It takes a stronger person to forget and forgive.
Yes, there are plentiful of difficult people around us all the time. Sometimes, a friend or a family member can become difficult if their interest or happiness in threaten. It is the reality and we have to face them. How shall we handle these difficult people ?
I have finished reading the book " The joy of living " , written by a young and wise Tibetan Monk who is going around the world preaching the Dharma. He said in his book that " Everybody wants to be happy and to avoid unhappiness". This advise carries deep meaning and if you apply this wisdom to your life, you will have the answer to my question above. You will not only make the difficult man a happy person but in return, you will also be happy. The formula is simple. Less difficult people around you, less difficulties and you will be more happy. But , it is deeper than that Not that people are inter-related but sharing a common platform will make all of us happy and make the world a happier place.
Coming back to the wisdom of " Everybody wants to be happy and to avoid unhappiness". If you keep to this wisdom, you will realize that if we do not make people unhappy, they will not be difficult to us. If we cross their path, threaten their survival or make their life difficult, it is very logical that they will try to get rid of you or get you out of their path. Sane people will not simply find fault with you unless they are in some way been hurt by you or having pressure from other people.
Of course, you will ask how shall we re-act , when some people is been difficult to you ? Shall we keep quiet and do not fight for our rights ? This is passive and the difficult person will take advantage of your passiveness. If we look at it from another angle, can confrontation solve the issue ? So, the only way is not to response , keep your distance and ask for time to resolve the problem which is existing between you and difficult people. You have to find a solution which is a win-win situation and pull off from the argument and repeatedly look at the situation from the view of your adversary. If you consider and look long enough, you will find a compromising solution which is in the interest of everyone.
I am not perfect and I am trying to find my true self. I realize that when there is a stronger action , there is a stronger re-action and human beings are not predictable. We always consider our welfare or our interest first and keep it within our tight grip. The tighter we hold on to an item, the more harder it becomes when we have to let go. Everything is impermanent and a passing illusion. I
n the end, when we have to leave this world, it is not hard to die but it is always difficult to give up the material things and pleasure that we have in this materialistic world.
Namaste.
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