Feeling of tiredness

After working for 43 years, I have a feeling of tiredness .  The body is aching , the joints are hurting while the steps are floating.  There are so much wounds and bruises to the body and the mind . Ego, insults , criticism and scolding makes deep roots into our emotional well being.

I have a friend who told me that as we get older, we cannot withstand any such kind of abuses.  Our ego and self center-ness gets more difficult to pacify.  The new wounds takes more time to recuperate while old wounds remained deeply entrenched.

But why should worry ? I have done my part and carry out my duties and now , I have to sit back to consolidate the values that I have created throughout the years.  What is another additional million to me ?  I can live on my investments comfortably if I want. 

How do I spend my time after retirement ?  This is the big question .  There are so much things to do ie small and big things . How would I distribute my time for all these things?  I have to remain useful right ?  And just eat, sleep, watch TV and exercise. I have to do something to pay back what I have earned from society right ?  But, all these personal things only bring in circles until the day I passes on. Is this worthwhile ?  This is something , I have to come to term with. How do I spend the rest of my time as a retiree. 

Yes, by still working now , I am escaping from these big questions of what to do ? I hope I am not becoming noisy and grumpy after my retirement .  Nothing to do but concentrate on small little things. That is my big worry as I have too much time on hand to handle the small maters.

Yes, I have to become wiser and accept the facts of life and control my mind better. I have to have a healthy body and a beautiful mind to live the rest of my life in a meaningful and positive way.  When we come into the world with nothing, we go out of this world with nothing but at least , some good legacy still remains. 

I don't know why people have to be nasty and aggressive and at the end of the day, they are still going to be nothing. Every benefits in life comes from a title and without that title , all the merits and respective will be gone. One of my friend told me that " this is the way I am" being nesting and aggressive . But, I think it is a matter of choice . When we are in our prime and top, we abuse our position and treat our subordinates with abuse and without respect and we get a away with it . But , at the end of the day, we will regret it .  Karma have a strange way of working on us .

So, to my nasty and aggressive friends.  Watch out , what goes a round ,comes around. 

Namaste.