Going down hill

The ' phase going down hill ' is phase that described something is going worst gradually with age, time and health As we aged our body functions are gradually worsening and getting worst.

When I say our body functions, it maybe the eye, the hearing, our legs , our thinking power , our sex performance, our energy level and our general health in general. We exercise and keep a healthy diet but in the end, we can only delay the deterioration of our body functions but in the end, it still deteriorates but in a slower pace until everything is dead when the body shuts down,

When we are young, the world change for us and we live without thinking of the days when we are going down hill. It was never in our mind . We live forever and we are going up hill and there is not resting. In mid age, we are still almighty and nights becomes day and day remains day for ever, There is nothing to fear and no worries at all. Our bodily functions are absolutely perfect as we live our life with plenty of vigor.

When we aged, we start to ponder whether we can wake up the next day as our body functions remind us that we have aged.  We cannot hear to well, see so clearly or perform sex everyday or cannot walk so far or think so clearly.  These are facts of aging and sights is on the wall to tell us to slow down to let our body functions to follow our act, Some functions cannot catch up with each other and it is time be aware   The end is near as we aged. This realization is very important for us to pace ourselves, We cannot be a 60 years old man doing the same act as an 18 years old man.  We can  keep on telling our self that age is a number and convince our mind that we are young but the body functions is real and it will go down hill whether faster or slower,  It will definitely going down hill,

It is a fact that we never thought of until the sights are there. You hear less, see less, talk less, hear less , eat less , shit less and lesser as times goes by. We need not think about it , we will fell it gradually and we cannot deny it. Things must go down hill one day.

Namaste

To live or to die ?

My friend called up and told me that her mother is very sick and the Doctor told them to decide whether to let her go or to prolong her life? This decision really woke her up and she was so confused and frighten. She suddenly become fearful as she is not about to lost her mother, Such thoughts have never gone through her mind. Death is a taboo subject and nobody wants to think about it . Death is something bad,  But real.

I try to console her as she was about to cry her heart out. I asked her a few questions like is her mother still in contact with her by touch . She say yes and I told her if that is case, she should continue her treatment and keep her alive or for a miracle. I told her the case of my sister in law where her family try their best and keep their hope to the end and have no regrets about it after that. But, if her mother have lost her will to live or lost the touch with them, then it is time to let go. To keep them in a painful stage is very selfish. Most people cannot accept the fact of death or of losing someone and for their selfish needs, they tend to hope on someone close to them. They are so used to see their parents alive or caring for them, they cannot bear to lost it.

I have tol my friend that they must not forget their father who will be the most stressed person to see her life companion slipping away,  Her father is actually the one which needs more time and care from her children as his wife is taken care by the doctor and also the medication provided to her. Her father is the most fearful of all and he needs to comfort and the care from his children. Most people in crisis , only focus on the sickly but not the one living. This is the lack of awareness which sometimes caused a lot of regrets.

My friend told me that she wants to hide away and bury her head in the sand and the fear away. I told her it is all wrong. Fear is really a very scary thing as it causes  a lot of doubts in us especially on our sanity and capability. Fear adds fear and make us delusional. If by hiding , we can drive away the fear , then by all means just bury our head in the sand, But unfortunately, it does not change a thing and we ended up more regretful. The situation does not change a thing and it ends up blowing ourself away. So, what is the point of hiding or why be so coward ?  Everything is real and we have to face it and realized that if we cannot change it , then why worry ?

I read an article and it tells me the simple that if we focus on something, our energy goes with it  If we keep our mind calm and aware, the energy stays with us and keep us strong to face whatever that comes. It is easy to say but this is the only way we can move forward.  Do not be fearful and confused,  realized the facts of life and face it squarely. All of us are cowards if we want to be a coward but there is also a hero in all of us , It is a choice within us and the decision is ours. To be a hero or a coward , it is all up to us.

I have read a quote by Robin Sharma which says that we can live in a route or do nothing but we should go deep to do something to make a difference, But the end is all the same, we all have to go on and the show must go on.

There is a time for everything , a time to live and a time to die.. It is real and it is not going to change for anyone. so, be aware and live well,

Namaste

I saw what I don't want to see

Last night , I saw something which I have been avoiding . Some unpleasant but it is a fact.  An old man slump in a wheel chair and been pushed around the estate. Don't let your mind wonder lah, it is not a meeting of the third kind or something from the under world. 


It is exactly the sight which was explain in Buddha life  in the city outside his palace wall. The old, sickly and the weak. The sight of these suffering turn him towards seeking the truth. But, for me, I am staring at the truth. The truth of life.


I think the old man is waiting for his time and he wants to see the outer world before he passes on. It is actually a very sad sight. It brings you down to basic of life and death.  Why are people running around at high speed and struggle to make all the riches he could make. I have told a story of a general for a few times.


This general who help the emperor to defeat and conquer all the neighboring states and he became old and sickly. The Emperor appreciated him very much and told him that he will be the king of the land his horse carries him. So, he jump on the horse back and ride day and night . Night and day until he fell from his horse due to his illness.  On the dying bed, he told his two sons that in the end , he only need a 6ft by 4ft land to bury his dead body. It is true, what is the point of having so much land and riches and still chasing after for more. People is blind by greed and if they make to slowdown and realized this point, they should spend their life in pursuing his passions and enjoy nature and its beauty,.

Steve jobs in his dying words vouched to his truth , Jet li now in ill health also comes to term with this truth and many people realized this truth at the end of their life. I was told by wife that one of her supplier who is a regional IT business took their company's VSS and retire to pursue his yoga practice and enjoy his time in meditation. You can run a million miles but in the end , you have to rest and finally die. Don't not feel taboo to wonder and talk about this matter,.  This is the fact of life.


Namaste.

My retiring friends

I just received a mail from my banker friend thanking me for the 15 years of banking relationship. He is moving to his next chapter of his life. He is only 55 years and rich.  Jack Ma said that if you are still working at 45 , you deserve to work the rest of your life.  My friend is 10 years overdue and he could have choose to retire earlier but he did not.


He bid me farewell but I greet him " see you soon" . How can we be so absolute to say goodbye ? Life is so unpredictable and who knows that we may cross path again. Life's journey is so uncertain and unpredictable.


Another lady banker friend also told me that she is reaching retirement age in July this year and she could be asked to retire without any extension.  So , I told her to keep in touch whatever happens. Even if she is retired , we can still be touch as we have more time for our self.


A Lot of us is worried what will become of us when we retire with nothing to do. Our mind will become malfunction  and our body will become lazy and layback.  It will run out of shape anytime.  Working keeps us tight and fit and keep us in shape. Not working is waiting to die.  All these thoughts are on our mind and keep sending fears to us.


If retiring , we can still keep a healthy life.  Reading and exercise or do some risky business to keep us on our toes. No fears as fears manifest fears and will bring us down. Life in whatever form is forever risky.


As time goes on, many more of my friends will retire and do the things they like while for those who choose to work a little bit longer will continue to live in the same working routine and environment. Life is a choice and there is nothing wrong with either decisions. There is no right or wrong as long you are comfortable and happy.  The criteria is happy and not money.


Yes, happiness within your self is the upmost test.


Namaste.

A mixed feeling

Sitting in my office when most of my staff have gone home. I just woke up to this quiet office and my mind start to wonder. Yes, where my focus is , my energy will follow .  If we think about our anger, then all my energy will be waste on my focus and it is a waste  to waste my energy on anger.


Yeah, there are so many things to think about especially creating something out of nothing. When the mind is quiet, it goes searching for things to excite our mind and the mind will used up our energy.


Can we sit quietly without anything on our mind ? It is impossible unless our mind have been trained to left out all the rubbish in our mind.


Our mind will move from the thought of why are there no problems in our life ? Are there really no problems? Yes, we get suspicious of our thoughts . We become confused and start to dig out the unimportant things and make it bigger and to spend time thinking about it. Creating something out of nothing.  This is the mind's expert tool to confuse our life.


Why are there so many problems in the world ? But, can we do something about it  Or are we able to do something about it.  Today, I saw an article in the star press, house owners building illegal structures in their back lane and block the access of other people. Wow, there are such greedy people . Stupid people who only think of their convenience.


This thoughts bring me back to the illegal temple and garden in the public park in front of my house.  The similar thing happen to my complaint . For many years , I have written to the council to complain but there is no reply or actions . This guy who complain in the press did the same until he is upset and start to write to the press. Is there any actions ? It will fall in dumb ears. This is the problem which is beyond him. The daily chorus . What about the worldly chorus ? Are we there to solve it ? But , our mind is disturb by it. The point is that our mind become very wide and invite problems into our mind if the water is too still. The more we thing , the more unstable our mind becomes and we become  more disturbed. We start to scold the people in our mind but they cannot hear it and it is a futile effort. It is to release the pressure or our anger.


Is this fruitful ? We shout at the top of voice within us but it gets no where . Is this fruitful ? Think about it , seriously think about it . Like we shout fuck you to the driver who came into our lane. Can fuck him or we call out for "shoik " ,...,. Stupid us...


Namaste.

It is not like what it seems to be ....

Most of the time our mind creates our imagination which is far away from the facts.  Lets say a man and a women goes out often for lunches, everyone will think that they have a personal relationship or some thing personal or have a sexual relationship.  It is very silly as this interpretation came out automatically in our mind.  Sex , sex, sex.

Why is our mind so occupied  with sex. Is there anything more in life ? Like a good friend or a good subordinate isn't that possible ? If we have sex all the time , we die in no time and life is not about sex , sex , sex.

This one example of which our sight often betray us. In Bangladesh, two men can hold hands and we always think that they are gay.  Is is not like that and it maybe because they are passionate or it is common or a custom for men to be passionate to each other. Gay relationship is a taboo and our mind is always interpreting it in the most dirty way.

Once , a female subordinate came and ask for some special approval for her expenses and I told her that if I were to do it not according to the rules, people will interprete that there is a relationship between me and her.  We cannot stop people's interpretation and people's mouth from talking and twisting the facts.

This point was illustrated in a Taiwanese show when there is a line of six person and with a short story been told to the first person in the line and he or she convey it to the second person and so on and so . The final person at the end of the line will then tell out the story which was  passed on from his team members.  The final result is a complete distorted and different story.

This story have been used to illustrate the art of communication and the end results really sucks . So, it is better not to form an opinion from our sight or hearsay and the end result could kill an innocent person or spoilt a good relationship.

Namaste.

Talk is cheap

I wonder and I am confused whether I should rent out my apartment to a man who house his mistress?  Am I an accomplice to a sin ? Why should I be sinful as I cannot stop anyone from using the apartmentm, right  ? But if  I know it is not proper , do I still rent it out ?

I remembered Dalai Lama said that as long as we do not hurt others then the action should be okay. In this case, do I hurt others ?  Yes and no. If I do not know, then  it is not sinful but if I know than it is considered sinful. What about the thinking in our mind ? Everyday, we dream of sinful things ie critizing a person or want to hurt another person but in actual fact, it does not happen. Is it sinful ?

We look at beautiful women with bad intention but not doing anything about it and nobody knows about it as we fantacise in our mind , is it sinful ? In the bible , adultery happens even it is in our mind even when there is no harm to anybody. The craving already is sinful.

One of my friend told me that he likes beautiful naked pictures of women, it does not mean that he will raped them, Is this sinful ? A fantancy and a dream does it matters ? Nobody would know and it does no harm to the ladies in the picture. Who to judge ?

There is a saying " Men will think of sex , Women will think of money ". Each specie have their own desire and dreams. This happens through millions of years.

Good man remained good man despite what goes in their head as long as it is not reviewed or acted to harm people. 

Namaste.

One of her last wish .....

Recently, I have been tormented by a dream.  A dream of my sister in law who have a last request from me. The dream just came into my sleep and it makes me rather quilty. 

I had a joint investment with my brother in law and when my sister was sick with Cancer she requested me to sell the apartment to my brother in law. I offered a discount but she had asked for more.  I kept my stand and the deal went sour because of some reason.  I regretted because she died not long after that. At one point of time before her death, my brother in law want to talk about the matter again but she stopped him to bring up the subject.  Maybe she feared that my relationship with my brother in law would strain further.  She maybe right.

I felt that I should have given more discount to her as money is not the the final thing and everybody would ended up a happy ending. I brought up this matter after the dream and it turn out that my brother in law have bought another apartment at some other place.

Hopefully with this step I could close the chapter with my sister in law and release my guilt.  It has put a restless pressure on me when the dream came up.

I have learned a lesson not just to look at the current situation but deeper into the family relationship. Since nothing can be done now , it is better to sell of the unit and have a clean start.  I need to convinced myself that if the things are out of control, I should not worry and let it roll out according to its script.

Namaste.