As usual after a hectic weekend , it is usual that the follow Monday is also hectic as well. This is much so if it was raining on a Monday.
The traffic out of Farlim was packed jam and I have to take illegal turns to get out of the area in order to arrive at my office on time. I was abit tired and upset upon seeing the traffic and I have a bit of entanglement with my wife over the route to work as well as some small hic-ups.
Through the years, she has been talking in less words while I start to mis-interprete her intention. I remembered an article written by my boss , H on why people talk by shouting even if they are very near to each other. He said that it is because their hearts are getting wider apart. If you see a couple in love, they whisper and they make sure that their words and feeling is clear enough for both to understand and they don't mind talking for a long time. I saw this happening when my daugther M talk to her BF and how he responded to her.
For me and my wife, it is not only the words are getting less but the voice and tone is getting louder. To talk loud is to suppress my re-action or to win a conversation. Many a times, I asked her why she needs to shout when she is talking to me in the car ? I am so near and yet so far. I think what my boss said is correct. Although physically, we are near , our heart is far apart, so we have to shout.
What happen to the loving feelings of the past ? Now , it is more like getting our way through matters more than the good relationship we have once enjoy. Does winning mean so much now ? Does it get boring to speak more clearly and softly and speak more time expressing our intention to our once " loved" one ? It is so ironical. We talk more softly and politely to strangers than to our loved ones . Why are we so foolish in our actions and words ? We should look good infront of our family members rather than in front of strangers but we acted differently and in madness.
All these thoughts keep troubling me while I am working and I feel very foolish , not to control my feelings and frustration. We have to slow down and look inwards before we kill ourself or regret the actions we would take ie taking a confrontation stand. If there is love, only a whisper or a twinkle in the eye will make a very difficult problem looks like a mole hill. There is no need to stress up either parties or make them upset. Talk nicely and patiently and try to put on the shoes of your better half and you will see his or her point in certain suggestion or actions.
Work is a joy but bad thoughts make my Monday hectic and tired. Share my experience and you could realize that you are also caught in this trap. Shake it off and break free and do not let the anger and feeling control you.. Like I always say, it is your choice how to respond to lead a joyful life.
Namaste.
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