My life at this moment.....

There have been a lot of things happening for the past two years, the death of my FIL and two BIL and my brother have a by-pass. Lucky thing was my brother had a successful operation and now is recuperating at home. But, some how he has withdrawn inwards. I had a breakfast with him and my sister this morning and I felt strange as I have not really know what is going on within himself.

During the breakfast while my sister have gone to order the Tim Sum, I was alone with him. I asked him about the operation and he told me that he don't know what happen as he was in sedation during the operation. He is feeling fine and the Doctor have told him that his operation was a success but at night, he still feel some tightness in his chest. What I asked him further, he said he do not know anymore. I asked him what he likes to eat and he told me whatever. He has been using the world "whatever" very often lately. When I asked for his opinion of things, he will say "whatever".

I felt he has quiet down and as if he is still sick. I told him that the Doctor have given you a clean bill of health and you are not sick anymore. Before the operation, he was sick but now he has been cured. I try to tell him that people which have a by-pass is having a "second spring" in life. He should change his mindset that he still ill. But, of course he should be careful about his diet but he should start to think positively and start some light exercise instead of sleeping most the day and letting the wound heal.

I can understand that the operation is another dramatic experience and it can traumatize oneself into a withdrawn mode as if we are given a second lease of life. But, we can we do about it, what has happen already done and the Doctor have done their best to give us a second chance in life. We should take good care and make good use of it. Sleep and rest is good but do not let it over take our life and slip us into a mudame life style. It is not how long we live but how well we live our life. It is meaningless to have a long but a lifeless life. Just doing nothing and let the moments pass.

So far, I have not been successful taking to him but I will continue to try to inspire and motivate him. Yeah, life is fragile but if we continue to worry about its security, it does not help. If we are afright of causing harm to the wound or hurting ourself or dying, our life will become meaningless. Our courage will be lost forever and we cannot stand up again to face reality.

Again, it is easy to say than done. What else can we do? We should not kneel to fear but stand up and subduce fear and continue to march on with our life.

At this moment, apart from the challenges in my work and my family life, I have a mission to rebuild the life of my brother. From whatever life to a purpose driven life. It is not an easy task but he has to live on and I will have to go along with it.

Namaste.