In transition

The time in Bangladesh is two hours behind the Malaysian time and I am aware that it is already 12 mid night in my home country but my mind is playing a fool with my consciousness as it is only 10 pm here in Bangla. Shall I sleep or not ? My awareness is fighting with my consciousness. On one side, it is already late and on the other side, it is still early.  If I sleep now , I will be up by 5 am local time and it is still early in the morning.  So, I want to put my thoughts on my blog.

I have just finished a dinner with my colleagues in Bangla and we also sang a couple of songs at the restaurant's Karaoke Room. The songs we sang were from the 70's and 80's , with songs like born free, bridge over troubled water , dreams ,etc. My feelings were a bit confused as I drift back to my earlier years when I was playing a band. It was a carefree day and my friendship with my band friends was wonderful and we spend a lot of time together. We dis-band after I got married and my band friends just moved on and we seldom catch up with each other.

After a few years after we dis-band, I called up my bassist and asked where are all the other band players especially my rhythm guitarist.  He told me to look for him in the underworld as he has moved on. I was taken aback and feel bad that I did not look for him earlier. Well, this is life. We are so caught up in the rat race and to start a family, we just become too focus on our well being that we neglect  those friends who have grown up with me and share a music bond with me.

Now in strange land and after re-visiting some of the old songs, my past memories flow back to me and make me think of my band friends and the wonderful time we have together. Why can't we think of them earlier and called them to refresh the friendship before it is too late.

Suddenly, I feel so flimsy and uncertain like flowing through time in a strange land  and suspend in transit. My psychical body in here now but my mind is back in the past. This is a mis-match and caused an uncomfortable and uncertain feeling of lost.

Hope that all you readers understand my thoughts and my feelings and learn from my mistake. You do not need to get your self lost in pursuance of your well being and severe ties with your good friends. You can do both and you will feel more fulfilled in the end.

Namaste.