A day ahead of a long break

It is usually a positive mood ahead of a long holiday break.  I will be going to KL on the coming Friday and tomorrow is also a public holiday celebrating the Merdeka Day.   Well, it should be full of public holiday activities by now but I have not the " in thing' relating to this festival.  What is there to celebrate? Just enjoy the break.

It is a welcome break.  That is it.  Just a break in my work routine. 

So many things that have happen in the past one week and I feel exhausted and worn out.   The stress of the job and the stress which transferred up from my subordinates and the worries over business. 

Lately , business have been quite bad especially the local business and people are not spending.   It looks like money is not enough for so many people.  The malls are quite empty and there are so many commercial houses for rent and there are just no takers.  What is happening to the  economy ?  5.8% growth ? But  business sentiments are still bad.

For an economy to growth at 5.8% , it is a very good sign but if the funds are suck out of the system and into some private accounts , then it is just too bad as the funds are not coming back to the system to make it better.  Money needs to be in circulations as there will be a multiplier effect as business will create more business. But if the funds are suck out, the impact or the multiplier effect will lost its momentum.  How can it be better for all of us ?  Only for those suckers of the funds who will be performing extremely well.

There are so much talk about it , it seems that Malaysia will never see the day where its exchange rate can be severely adjusted back to reflect the proper sentiments.

Namaste.

The last weekend with my sister

I was with my sister on Sunday.  At that time, I think she is in connection with me sometimes especially when she look at me and touched my face. Her kind of gentle touching on my face really moves me to tears . Her light tapping and stroking my hand put me in the perception that she recognized me but she is not telling me. 

Her health have much improved and she has the little reddish glow on her face and her mischievous smile. I still cannot understand why she is still trapped in her thoughts and not coming out to greet me and I hope someday , she will break out of her trapped mind. 

I keep on calling her name is a soft tone .. sister , sister ,sister  and hope she will reply me and hug me .  I have been trying to stir her memories of the good time with her and maybe she is trying to reach out to me at times but I can only guess.  If only she open her voice and start telling me , I can only guess that we have contact at times.

The time flies and now it is in the 7 month or more , yet she is still in silence despite her health have improved much. I could see the coldness in my relative who can showed up a few days in a month but yet trying to show concern for her and want a say in the daily management of my sister.  I wonder sometimes why they need to bother ?  Just go on with their lives and don't put obstacles in the way to make my sister live more.

I am not looking for a long time for my sister to live but I want her to really live rather than lying on the bed and playing with her fingers and touching everything she can get her hands on  to pass her time. What is there to live in this manner ?  I wonder how she is wondering in her mind ?  How can I removed the trap and let her be free again. Can GOD help me to free her ? I have been praying every day for divine help but I can only remained hopeful..  Just in case one day, she came back to her normal self and acknowledge my presence and my love for her.

I loved you very much, my sister .......


Rgds

Another week have passed ....

Wow, now it is late August and September is around the corner. Another week and August will be gone .  It is now a raining season with alternate or continuous days of rain .   Rain and Monday blues don't mixed , It makes it more tiring and difficult to pass.  I have to be aware of it and to accept it ..

It was a pleasant surprise for me as today , I have expected a jam but it turns out to be smooth sailing to my office . I reached my office before 8 am . It is indeed very rare.  My secretary told me ,today is the start of school holidays and the repair on the bridge took a break today as well. These two factors make up for the Monday blues.. 

Why Mondays should be blue ? Blue color is sad and a hard bite on our emotions.  It is a start of a new week  despite it is going to a short week.  Two days of public holidays  ie come Thursday and Friday ... so why should it be blue ?  Nevertheless, it is our mind who is playing this trick on us.  We are fixed at this Monday blues.

Last weekend was hectic , having to attend a weekend Christian talk . It is about the life of a born again Christian who have gone a wrong path believing in the devil until GOD call him back a numerous time to be on a God serving path.  The pastor have gone into drugs , seeing the devil, exhortations , being a nasty character but finally, come back into GOD's path.  It is a wonderful ending but it did strikes me as yet to be GOD  ie the Christian GOD.  

I think there is so many ways of living and living in one's belief is the most important and there are different ways to meet our ultimate creator.  There are roads , many have traveled but there are roads ,less traveled.  It is a choice for us to choose the path we wanted and preferred.

Namaste.

Talk of dogs

My banker girlfriend drop in for lunch with me and  I invited my support staff , A to join me.  During the lunch, my staff , My staff A brought up the subject of dogs in our family and it triggered a lot of talks on dogs and each member started to show off their passion for dogs.  I was not intrigued at all.

I have two dogs  ie one is a poodle and another is a labrado.  My poodle , lucky was like a bitch while my Labrado, Brownie  was an obedient and well behave dog except shitting everywhere except in the right spot.  I lost my labrado for 11 days and it was hell for me for the 11 days and I print posters to ask people to return  to me my dog.  She has been returned to me for a few months now and I still could not find time to talk to her or to teach her. 

Dogs need time to get herself acquainted with people and this point is very important when we rear dogs for companions. If you don't have time for dogs, please do not try to rear anything , especially  dogs.  The small poodle needs you to take care of them while the bigger dog wants you to talk to them each day after work.  By throwing them to their cage or an open area , this will make depress and will make them  behave very weirdly and may attack you if the most unexpected  happenings.

I am not a professional dog lover but I am reluctant put into these two relationship with these bitches . I realized that you really need time to take care of them and have to be humble each time you bend down to clear their shits.  This could be good for the yogi practice and your awareness but definitely this is a job you don't want in the first place.

Namaste.  

My new found freedom

Cheers , my wife is driving to her new office and I will be having my freedom when to leave my office or go to my office.  Wham! Next day came the news that the bridge will be undergoing repair for a year.  "Sh't " Massive jam expected on my way to work and please be prepared. 

The first day of the announcement was still okay and there was not much jam on the bridge but on the second day of the announcement , it took me 1 1/2 hours to work compared to my normal days and second day it was slightly better ,it took me 1 hour to reach my office.  Wow, it depends on the traffic on the road and it is not going to be easy with the blockage on the bridge towards my office. 

Someone told me.  You can used the second bridge but looking at it , it will take much longer time to reach my office as it is a long detour  which involves doing south and going back north again.  What a big circle. It looks like there is no other options and I will need to go to work earlier. But , how to endure this long period of traveling time in the coming year.  What else can we do ?  The 2nd bridge or the ferry..  Nothing is more viable than going through the jam. 

With this thought , I should have my wife together with me lah.  It will not be so boring as we can still talk about things during the jam. This is another perspective of our life . Some new found freedom becomes our nightmare.  So happiness within ourselves also involved external factors like a massive jam which could turn our mood around.

Come to think about the jam , one year wor ?  how to tolerate such delay and I must keep my awareness of the situation in order to control my mood.

Namaste.

The fragility of life

My passion is wavering and sometimes , I felt so low.  I feel that life is so uncertain.  When I came back from Bangladesh last week, on a arrival , I saw a funeral wake in my neighbor's house and I was told that my neighbor's mother have passed away during my trip overseas.

Before I went to overseas, I would see my neighbor's mother everyday washing the front porch of her house as I also was cleaning up my dog's shit every morning.   She seems to be healthy and was actively working around the porch.

The next day, I pay a short visit to my neighbor's house to pay respect to the dead and was told that she died after complaining of vomiting despite  seeing a Chinese herbal doctor.  She die on a Tuesday night.   It was so sudden to her beloved ones.

Suddenly , I feel the fragility of life and anyone could leave this world suddenly even we take good care of our health and every life is seem so designated and we cannot ask for more time when it comes.  Ashes to ashes , dust to dust.  It has been this way and it does not have any another way.

Live well and eat well and life is short and we should not make it shorter . Live well ,eat well and wait for our time.

Namaste.

She isn't heavy , she is my sister

Yeah . It is already 7 months and yet she did not recover their memory despite her health is getting better and she can consumed congee and the soft food.  Nevertheless, she prefers tasty food which she prefer and when she is served a normal congee , she just refused to eat it.  It is getting worst as she will not sallow plain and tasteless food anymore.   It is really a challenge.

Last weekend, my daughter May brought us to the lexus suite hotel in Telok Kumbar and she really enjoy the stay and the food we feed her. She could smile and touch my face when I gets near to her and show my affection for her. I think she really have a good time.

On the Saturday night, the night before my daughter's birthday, we had a Japanese dinner and we served her all the soft Japanese food like salmon, egg  and taufu or bean paste and she really eat the congee very fast . The next day, we went to Wan Thai , a Siamese restaurant and I feed her Tom Yam Kung and she taste it quite well .  She was in the spirit at  lunch time and lift her hands to touch me on my face and my chest.. I could feel a swell in my eyes as my tears came to the edge of my eye.  I have been feeling this happenings a few time before but I managed to hold back the tears.  Yet she is still without her memory but at times, I thought we were connected.

After the two days, we were quite happy that she did feel something different and we will be planning for more such trips in the coming months.  It really makes a difference for her to live as she did before. 

Namaste.

The power of giving

We have to give before the returns comes back and whether it comes back or not, it does not matter.  Why are we keeping all the wealth with us instead of spending and sharing it with others.  We cannot be always taking and taking without giving for the more we have sometimes is not happiness at all without spending or sharing with others. In karma, when we give , we do not expect any returns but it will come back somehow to repay what we give. Karma behaves In its mysterious ways. 

Today, one of my friend wished me a happy Birthday and I invited to meet him at lunch.  Later on , he told me that he is coming to Penang to catch up with old friends and want to know how they are dealing with their life.  Either to retire or work to death.  I think he is in a personal crisis and want an answer from the Establishment.  I don't think he can get an answer as what he need or what is right lies within himself .  Nobody is the same and he has to come with his terms in this life.

For me turning 64 is really a challenge and seems scary . I think this is only for a moment and why do we get worried or scare of what we cannot change.  Just live the best we can and do the best we can for our health.  Everything is a choice like I say many times.  We have the power to decide and all these decisive power lies within us.  It is we that lack the confidence and courage to search within us for an answer.  Life cannot go back now , so we have to decide how to live on.

There is no right or wrong way to live our life and it is only the way we choose ie My Way and with no regrets like what is said in the song " My Way".  No look back , no fear , no emotions but make the decision without looking back to live on our way.

I have written this story before about a monk closing his eyes to meditate.  As he meditate , he heard a noise and he thought that it was a rat. As the sound gets louder and louder , his imagination changed it from a rat to a cat  and to a tiger and later into a wild boar. His mind creates everything and the fear gets stronger and stronger as his imagination goes wild . The mind is doing the trick and when he opens his eyes, he saw that the noise was created by only a tiny mouse. 

In life , it is the same , as we fear , the fear manifest itself and make it into a bigger fear. The fear of dying or the fear of losing everything . So, it starts from the mind and the solution to these imagination is also in our mind.  We control our destiny and our fate which dictates our life.

Namaste.

The mighty mind

I happen to read a statement from Sahguru, an Indian wise man.  Everything starts from the mind, it has to be resolved by the mind.  The emotions of  fear, frustrations , unhappiness , anger ,etc , it comes the mind and it can be stopped or change by the mighty mind itself. It is just like a switch, from the moment of awareness, if you have a trained mind, you can just switch it off and maintain the internal peace within yourself.

Come to think about it, whatever happens it is because of our mind. A uncontrolled mind which could makes our senses and emotions like a bunch of monkeys celebrating in a banana plantation and have a field time. Monkeys are very cheeky and remained restless if it is not trained. You have to tie it up but yet , he or she can make a lot of irritating noise. If you trained the monkey, it can behave well most of the time. 

So the logic and wisdom of this sahguru is very true but the mind have to trained and remained be aware and in firm control.

Namaste.

Wow.. life is a joke

Lately, I have been using a lot of this phase that "life is a joke ". It is real and we have been ignoring this awareness.  Some of us work until we die , some people born with a silver spoon while others choose to live life on their own way and not care about anything in the world.

One of my workaholic friend told me that we must have a career in our life.  I asked her back " what is a career ? To earn more money , to be successful, to be well known or to be powerful.  But what is all these titles or meaning ?  These concepts are build in by the past generations and we are only following our path or their path to be what they are. Are really happy with your career ?  Having money to meet your needs and thousands of people working under you or you are better the billions who is not earning as much as you ?  Meaningless right ? What is a career ? To work you to death ?
It is very funny concept that we have and illusions as well.

We are so intelligent but yet we are so stupid . So stupid to bind by other people's thinking and following the path of other people's life or career. But of course, there are many roles in life and if with no people to manage the establishment , then everything will just collapse. So, it is better to convince the people that they must have a career so that they can work for the Establishment. Otherwise, it will be back to the uncivilized world. So let the stupid people to do the stupid career job and we can live our life the way we want it .

So, a career is stupid unless you like it and like your job.  So, it should not be to build a career but to build an interest and interest that let us live.

Namaste.

Taken a ride into a mine

Life is a joke .  Have you got the experience of someone leading you into a ?\"mine" and got you blown up.  Yes.  yesterday , I have this experience and was severely criticized and humiliated.  It was a bad feeling and it hurts our pride and ego.

My colleague have asked me to present a paper on his behalf and he told me to prepare the material according to his requirement and after that present it on his behalf .  It was an easy job and no big deal. So, I had prepared the material and when I presented it , I was criticized badly for the poor presentation.  I have presented the paper on our current achievement and what we have done but the "boss"  who supposed to be brief wants an action plan to achieve it.  Wei, this is a  big difference in the presentation. What we have done and what we have to do is two different thing and way apart.  One is "as at" and another " how it should be " . The scope is way apart and so much different.

On that purview of " as at"  talk about past actions and how it should be is our plan action in future time and how to achieve it.  Hey, what a blunder and all the angle is wrong. So, the boss failed my report . I can understand it but I have been take  a ride by my colleague.

It was an embarrassing situation and I was very frustrated at the wrong scope of presentation which not only waste my time and everybody's time, I was punched on the face point blank.  Wei, where is link ? Broken communication and wrong expectations.


Namaste.