How I realized that it is my time to step back as the Chinese saying goes : The back wave pushing the front wave. This is very real and we have to realize that we have gone old and it is time to let go and let other younger people to take over from us.
This understanding is bad for our own ego but the faster we realized it , it will be better for us to let go and stay behind. Yes, I have been a frontier man for so long and like an old soldier , I never die but keep moving forward. Either I will fall dead while working or I got live for a few more good years before going down and vanish. It is so difficult for us after working for more than 43 years on the job and I have to go off .
Time is the master. As we go pass 60 , each year makes a different as our energy sapped and our bones ache. We fight against it and tell our self , age is just a number and we hide behind our smoke screen and dress our wounds. We better stop doing all this cover and face the facts and world. Yes, the facts could be ugly and the world is realistic . So what , why we need to live under this smoke screen and cry.
We have to suppress our ego, aware of our age and face the reality that we cannot go on like what we want to do. We have to look into the mirror and tell our self , it is time to let go and move behind for the young tide to move ahead. We cannot be an obstacle to progress and we have our time and it is time to go.
We cannot be ever green and hold on to the post forever . It is so unfair to you and to your subordinate. We have our time and now , it is their time. Their prime time.
We have to consolidate our wealth , let go and accept reality that we are in our twilight years. We have slow down and wonder gratefully in the twiling , drinking wine and lying restfully under the twilight sun and pass our time gracefully.
Yes, it is not how we die but how gracefully , we pass on our jobs and our life and become honorable.
The time has come for me to move on .
Namaste.
Monday, February 12, 2018
Wednesday, February 7, 2018
The years flew by
Last night , I attended a dinner organized by our insurer at a posh restaurant and my eyes were roaming around for familiar faces. Yes , I saw a few old friends , yes , they are already old ie into their 60s and 70s. Then I realized how master time have flew by.
When I was talking to this old friend , he told me that he is already 70 but he looks healthy and good but he is old. The tiredness in his eyes and the wrinkles are so obvious. He was with his wife and she also looks old as probably at the same age. It is really a wake up call for me as I will be at that age in a few more years.
I look around and there was many old folks like me and they were drinking and talking as loud as possible in the Chinese New year mood. Yeah, some of them still looks fit and walk very firmly. Well, age is just a number , right ? If you believe you are old , then you are old although our appearance will deceive us.
One young lady want to my table and sit besides me. She was with the Insurance company . A sweet young chick and she was wearing a flowing skirt. As she was talking to those people in the same table, her naked leg keep knocking against mine and she challenge me to a drink. Well, at this age, I could control myself and my passion . Otherwise, it will be embarrassing for me if I stay up with my flag rising North. Wow, I was tempted no doubt to drink with her and enjoy the company.
Looking at the occasion , it was rare nowadays as " money is not enough to spend around " but the food was good at jade palace and I had a wonderful time , just eating away except the incident with the sweet young chick. After awhile, I look back at her and she was slumping on her chair partially drunk. Why do we need to drive ourselves up with alcohol and get knock out . It is still a wonder and maybe , the drinks make us feel good.
I left the dinner before two more dishes and feel that it is enough as it was well into the night by then.
Namaste.
When I was talking to this old friend , he told me that he is already 70 but he looks healthy and good but he is old. The tiredness in his eyes and the wrinkles are so obvious. He was with his wife and she also looks old as probably at the same age. It is really a wake up call for me as I will be at that age in a few more years.
I look around and there was many old folks like me and they were drinking and talking as loud as possible in the Chinese New year mood. Yeah, some of them still looks fit and walk very firmly. Well, age is just a number , right ? If you believe you are old , then you are old although our appearance will deceive us.
One young lady want to my table and sit besides me. She was with the Insurance company . A sweet young chick and she was wearing a flowing skirt. As she was talking to those people in the same table, her naked leg keep knocking against mine and she challenge me to a drink. Well, at this age, I could control myself and my passion . Otherwise, it will be embarrassing for me if I stay up with my flag rising North. Wow, I was tempted no doubt to drink with her and enjoy the company.
Looking at the occasion , it was rare nowadays as " money is not enough to spend around " but the food was good at jade palace and I had a wonderful time , just eating away except the incident with the sweet young chick. After awhile, I look back at her and she was slumping on her chair partially drunk. Why do we need to drive ourselves up with alcohol and get knock out . It is still a wonder and maybe , the drinks make us feel good.
I left the dinner before two more dishes and feel that it is enough as it was well into the night by then.
Namaste.
Monday, January 29, 2018
CNY is around the corner again.
Last CNY was a horrible time for me as my 2nd sister suffered a fall and was in the ICU and I spend the whole of the CNY holidays visiting her there. Wow, it is a year again and time flies and now she is better but suffering from a lapse of memory. What can I do but only try to spend time with her and hope the almighty GOD will give her another chance to wake up from your memory.
I dream of her talking and moving about before and I am waiting for the day as she progress rather slowly but surely. Maybe , this is her path and she has to get through it herself. I have asked her to come back from where she is but no avail.. Like what the Doctor told us, the brain behave in its mysterious ways . There is no medicine for her except to wait for her to wake up.
When I was with her , she glaze at me and put on a smile sometimes. I feel connected with her when she smile and look at me. Sometimes, she just tap on my lap lightly as if to tell me , not to worry . Yeah, I have began to accept her situation but pray for her to get back her memory so that we can start to talk again. She has been my soulmate all these while and I was initially lost in space when she was in a coma.
Well , this CNY could be better than the last as we gather for new year in silence. Comparing last year, it is really a bit more happier and calmer and with her sitting in silence next to me on the reunion dinner.
Sister, hope you can wake up so that we can talk again .
Namaste.
I dream of her talking and moving about before and I am waiting for the day as she progress rather slowly but surely. Maybe , this is her path and she has to get through it herself. I have asked her to come back from where she is but no avail.. Like what the Doctor told us, the brain behave in its mysterious ways . There is no medicine for her except to wait for her to wake up.
When I was with her , she glaze at me and put on a smile sometimes. I feel connected with her when she smile and look at me. Sometimes, she just tap on my lap lightly as if to tell me , not to worry . Yeah, I have began to accept her situation but pray for her to get back her memory so that we can start to talk again. She has been my soulmate all these while and I was initially lost in space when she was in a coma.
Well , this CNY could be better than the last as we gather for new year in silence. Comparing last year, it is really a bit more happier and calmer and with her sitting in silence next to me on the reunion dinner.
Sister, hope you can wake up so that we can talk again .
Namaste.
Tuesday, January 16, 2018
How many 10 years do we have ?
I have heard this phrase many times and it is frequently asked by many people . Life is very short and on the average it is only 7 to 8 times of 10 years. If we are nearer to the 6 times, the call will be more urgent as we have only two more times.
The 7 or 8 times of 10 years is already too short , given the fact that 20 years is for us to grow up before we become more conscious of what the world is all about while the last 20 years is for us to wind down and wither away. The number of 7 or 8 times is less than the number of our fingers. It is better for us to be conscious of how short it can be.
Master Time stops for no one and it moves like an arrow in some days but it is drag along in other days. It depends on us to be aware of this process.
If we look at the 8 of the 19 years period. Like I have said , the first 2 years is for us to grow up and another 2 of the ten years is to get a job, get married and start a family. Another 2 of the 10 years period is for us to pay back what we have gained from the society and giving back to our society. The last 2 of the 10 years, is to retire , stay healthy and live out our balance of our life . These phrases will complete our full journey. If we can live for another 10 years after our 8th of the 10 years, it is a bonus for all of us. How lucky or unlucky are we ?
Lucky is when we have another 10 additional yeas of living , unlucky is when we have to endure all the body pains and aches to live through that phrase of life. So, the outcome is depending how we are taking good care of ourself.
It is always good to be aware and change your mood of living . Live well, eat well and be generous.
Namaste.
The 7 or 8 times of 10 years is already too short , given the fact that 20 years is for us to grow up before we become more conscious of what the world is all about while the last 20 years is for us to wind down and wither away. The number of 7 or 8 times is less than the number of our fingers. It is better for us to be conscious of how short it can be.
Master Time stops for no one and it moves like an arrow in some days but it is drag along in other days. It depends on us to be aware of this process.
If we look at the 8 of the 19 years period. Like I have said , the first 2 years is for us to grow up and another 2 of the ten years is to get a job, get married and start a family. Another 2 of the 10 years period is for us to pay back what we have gained from the society and giving back to our society. The last 2 of the 10 years, is to retire , stay healthy and live out our balance of our life . These phrases will complete our full journey. If we can live for another 10 years after our 8th of the 10 years, it is a bonus for all of us. How lucky or unlucky are we ?
Lucky is when we have another 10 additional yeas of living , unlucky is when we have to endure all the body pains and aches to live through that phrase of life. So, the outcome is depending how we are taking good care of ourself.
It is always good to be aware and change your mood of living . Live well, eat well and be generous.
Namaste.
Insanity
Albert Enstien says that insanity is doing the same thing over again and again but expecting a different result. Yes, it is sheer madness to think this way.
Some dental doctors advised us to brush from left to right one day and change it from right to left another day or up first and followed by the bottom to vary our routine everyday. It this way, our day will start differently and end differently, it could be more fleshing and changing the result of the day.
Our lives is running round in circles everyday and it is becomes a routine and we become mad as we go round and round. But, it becomes a complacency as we are going through the safe routine and we emerged into a comfort zone. When we wake up, it could be the end of our life or in our twilight zone. By then, we will be afraid to try different routine until the day we die.
Human is an animal of comfort . We prefer to live peacefully and carefully instead of inviting trouble so that we can live longer. Why are we so timid ? We live in fear most of the time.
Fear is something we have to overcome and because of fear we are living in a repeated routine. Any thing out side our routine is unpredictable and risky. We fear of loosing our jobs, nothing to eat, no where to live or fearful of being hurt. All these fears live in us and kept us in a routine of circles. Round and round until we drop dead.
There was this example of a assembling plant worker and she only need to fix a nut on the complete device and she do it day after day . After many years, she don't know anything else but only to know how to put in the nut. She has to go through retraining to break her working habit or routine. Even that is done, once a while , she goes into her nut fixing routine. This is a psychological problem where a repeated routine can reform the character of a human being.
So we have to break our routine to give freshness to our life and let have a meaningful journey . Otherwise, it could be a repeated circle of routines and making us all nutty in the end.
Namaste.
Some dental doctors advised us to brush from left to right one day and change it from right to left another day or up first and followed by the bottom to vary our routine everyday. It this way, our day will start differently and end differently, it could be more fleshing and changing the result of the day.
Our lives is running round in circles everyday and it is becomes a routine and we become mad as we go round and round. But, it becomes a complacency as we are going through the safe routine and we emerged into a comfort zone. When we wake up, it could be the end of our life or in our twilight zone. By then, we will be afraid to try different routine until the day we die.
Human is an animal of comfort . We prefer to live peacefully and carefully instead of inviting trouble so that we can live longer. Why are we so timid ? We live in fear most of the time.
Fear is something we have to overcome and because of fear we are living in a repeated routine. Any thing out side our routine is unpredictable and risky. We fear of loosing our jobs, nothing to eat, no where to live or fearful of being hurt. All these fears live in us and kept us in a routine of circles. Round and round until we drop dead.
There was this example of a assembling plant worker and she only need to fix a nut on the complete device and she do it day after day . After many years, she don't know anything else but only to know how to put in the nut. She has to go through retraining to break her working habit or routine. Even that is done, once a while , she goes into her nut fixing routine. This is a psychological problem where a repeated routine can reform the character of a human being.
So we have to break our routine to give freshness to our life and let have a meaningful journey . Otherwise, it could be a repeated circle of routines and making us all nutty in the end.
Namaste.
Friday, January 12, 2018
Our path through life
I have become more sober and real after achieving 64 as my body is changing as I aged. It is no joke as all the symptoms of our body illness gradually appear in our life. Our blood pressure, our sugar level , our cholesterol level , our uric acid and our joints . Somehow , we will sense all these ill beings.
How long can we live ? 80 years ? The first 60 maybe so so good but moving into mid 60s or 70s , the feeling will not be the same. There are people who do not have the symptoms but can experience certain health checks after certain age and it could be deadly.
Once I have a staff who detected her liver problem during a routine health check and she ask me why is her to get the sickness. I have no answers to her as when GOD wants us to die at 3pm , we cannot delay it for 5pm or not even a minute. After detecting the illness, she went for an operation and was living well until today or may in along future. Now, she told me that knowing the illness, she can prepare or take care of the problem and hopefully at very young time instead of detecting the problem when it is too serious . Yes, this is the best way of looking at the problem.
How many 10 years do we have ? Maybe 8 or 9 of 10 years and at 60, it is only one or two 10 years more. What do we expect as one by one of our old friends have gone on their path while we gets more and more sick as we age. Death should be the ultimate ending as common sense have taught us.
We can only delay the outcome but the end will always come . Nobody can avoid it . if we can live forever, why do we need to get up in the morning . Living give us a sense of urgency as time is limited and we have to move fast to get all our things done. Think about it and it is very true indeed. When we cannot die, everything became boring and dull and meaningless.
Namaste
How long can we live ? 80 years ? The first 60 maybe so so good but moving into mid 60s or 70s , the feeling will not be the same. There are people who do not have the symptoms but can experience certain health checks after certain age and it could be deadly.
Once I have a staff who detected her liver problem during a routine health check and she ask me why is her to get the sickness. I have no answers to her as when GOD wants us to die at 3pm , we cannot delay it for 5pm or not even a minute. After detecting the illness, she went for an operation and was living well until today or may in along future. Now, she told me that knowing the illness, she can prepare or take care of the problem and hopefully at very young time instead of detecting the problem when it is too serious . Yes, this is the best way of looking at the problem.
How many 10 years do we have ? Maybe 8 or 9 of 10 years and at 60, it is only one or two 10 years more. What do we expect as one by one of our old friends have gone on their path while we gets more and more sick as we age. Death should be the ultimate ending as common sense have taught us.
We can only delay the outcome but the end will always come . Nobody can avoid it . if we can live forever, why do we need to get up in the morning . Living give us a sense of urgency as time is limited and we have to move fast to get all our things done. Think about it and it is very true indeed. When we cannot die, everything became boring and dull and meaningless.
Namaste
Tuesday, December 26, 2017
our journey through life
Suddenly at this senior age, I came to realize the fragility of life and as we aged some friends just drop off or passes away and our health gets weaker during the journey. I have told you before that some people who takes good care of themselves but found out that they have contact serious illness or the big C while those people who live the most rugged life could be ill free. Even those very close to GOD and have been praying intimately with GOD suffers from serious illness or the big C. In other words ,there are no protection for illness.
In the old Chinese saying, if the God fo Hade wants us to die at certain time , we cannot asked to be deferred on our death. Any extension of time is rather impossible and absolute.
As my age grow, I have to do many things to maintain my health and each step is getting difficult as we aged. There so many critical illness and most insurance company offers 36 types of critical illness and as we advance , the list gets shorter and shorter until there is no more insurance coverage for certain disease as we aged. But , on the other hand , the cost of insurance or treatment gets higher by the day. An eye operation for cataract was only RM5K some years ago and now it cost more than RM8K for each eye. How can we bear the cost especially those earned hand to mouth and it is a matter of waiting to die. Reality bites and we all in trouble if we don't plan. If we cannot get a RM1 million coverage , a RM100K coverage could help as well if not much.
I was admitted to a hospital and I have to go through panel doctors to check for the outcome while I have to go through imaging, x-ray and a CT scan in one morning and I think my stay at the Hospital for two days cost me RM5k or more. What if I choose to go to a clinic and get my problem solved without further medical check up, it will only cost me RM150 for the treatment. The difference is the comfort of the hospital compared to a clinic and also the availability of the equipment to check my problem. I makes me feel that the Doctors have a syndicat3e and a plan to catch the big fish if they see want. I have to force to do all the checking without them asking me. What a conspiracy.
Anyway, I know my outcome and I have to be careful on my lifestyle , food and movement . What needs to be done , needs to be done. It maybe a good way or a bad way , but nothing is absolute right or wrong.
Namaste.
In the old Chinese saying, if the God fo Hade wants us to die at certain time , we cannot asked to be deferred on our death. Any extension of time is rather impossible and absolute.
As my age grow, I have to do many things to maintain my health and each step is getting difficult as we aged. There so many critical illness and most insurance company offers 36 types of critical illness and as we advance , the list gets shorter and shorter until there is no more insurance coverage for certain disease as we aged. But , on the other hand , the cost of insurance or treatment gets higher by the day. An eye operation for cataract was only RM5K some years ago and now it cost more than RM8K for each eye. How can we bear the cost especially those earned hand to mouth and it is a matter of waiting to die. Reality bites and we all in trouble if we don't plan. If we cannot get a RM1 million coverage , a RM100K coverage could help as well if not much.
I was admitted to a hospital and I have to go through panel doctors to check for the outcome while I have to go through imaging, x-ray and a CT scan in one morning and I think my stay at the Hospital for two days cost me RM5k or more. What if I choose to go to a clinic and get my problem solved without further medical check up, it will only cost me RM150 for the treatment. The difference is the comfort of the hospital compared to a clinic and also the availability of the equipment to check my problem. I makes me feel that the Doctors have a syndicat3e and a plan to catch the big fish if they see want. I have to force to do all the checking without them asking me. What a conspiracy.
Anyway, I know my outcome and I have to be careful on my lifestyle , food and movement . What needs to be done , needs to be done. It maybe a good way or a bad way , but nothing is absolute right or wrong.
Namaste.
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