My emotions

I have attended two funeral wakes in two days . One is for my secretary's father who is 87 years and another for a distant relative at 45 years old.  What a wracky feeling ?

Life seems uncertain and fragile suddenly . But, it is not suddenly , it has been a fact since day 1 and we tend to look away and prohibit from talking and discusing about death. Is death really so frightening if it is a fact ?

Yesterday, I had a lunch with banker friend and we were joking about death . Not death per se but the way of dying in a proper and honorable way. This subject trigger a thought and really a message from an old friend.

Hopefully, this story will not touch the sensitivity of my readers and it is real, This friend of mine have been frequently seeking the pleasure from hookers and one day he told me that by the law of karma , he has sin a lot as he has seek the pleasure of many hookers espcially in Thailand.  He asked me whether by the law of karma, he will become a hooker in the next life and repay all his sins by people getting the same pleasure from him.  I told him, I don't have the answer and it may probably be the case.

Further on, he told me his fear that one day , he could die naked in a strange bed with a hooker and his story will shame his family and surprise his friends.  He is fearful but the craving is still there.  I told him that if it is in a bed is still okay but what if he die suddenly naked in an ugly situation.

I reminded him of the actor, David Carradine who was a kungfu expert and he died in Bangkok in a closet hanging in a strange position.  He could be seeking pleasure from some exotic arrangement. This is precisely what my friend fear is that he will be found naked upside down dead.

I believe the law of karma is real but how it come and when it come , I am not sure.  The saying is that we reap what we sow.  We just have to be careful in our way of life.

Namaste.

Don't worry, be happy

This lyrics were part of a famous song who inspire people to be happy and don't worry.  It falls into an article which says that happiness is  not dependent. Happiness is free and is within each person and you can be happy for no reasons.

In our life , we link happiness to an achievement, an occasion or somebody or something.  We must have a reason to be happy.  Why ? Why do we linked happiness to an event or depending on something. This is part of our education or experience in life which instil this thought that happiness should be linked to something.  To be happy all the time and not based on something is crazy to most people . To smile, joke and laugh without a valid reason is madness to most people . Why ?

I showed my blog to my staff , Vanese and she laugh saying that at such age , I am still blogging.  These activities is for young man or women.  I want to tell no, as long as I am happy blogging, I will blog. Why age can be an hinderance ? Age is a number but in actual fact, we grow old as we age.
Why at 60 over , I still can joke , laugh and have fun ? why should I look serious for everything ?
Happiness is free, it is within one self and we can be happy at any time or anywhere or for anything or nothing.  Break from your fixed mind  and let your happiness grow and take control of you . Let it go like a bird out a cage , let them fly  anywhere and everywhere  and let happiness flow without restriction... let it flow and let it go......

Namaste.

A bleak morning

It was raining heavily suddenly in the morning and to my surprise , there was lesss traffic on the road.  It seems like today is a public holiday but it is not and the public holiday is tomorrow.

With the heavy rain, it clears away the haze but put on a greyish mood. A greyish mood is like a blue monday and it set a tone for a slow down in activities . 

In my mind was the thought of an accident of the Mat Rampit which was reported yesterday.  It was an eerie thought with a pile up which killed 5 riders on a speeding spress.  One of the rider was cut into two and the scene must be in terrible stage. I kept asking myself why, why do they need to risk their life like this ? It must be a challenge between death and life that thrills them to get the kick. Wasted life .

Apart from this , my mind was empty like the greyish color. It must be on auto pilot again as the car passes the roads to my factory. Yeah, like a zombie.

I have been through many of such greyish days and it will get lifted when I start to work and after a cup of coffee in the early morning. Life goes on and it is another working day.

I have to lift off now .... back to work.

Namaste.

Life is bitter sweet

This morning my secretary came in and I asked her to make two packet of " Hor Yan Hor " with two salted plum and she asked me " Boss, it will be very bitter " and I told her life is bitter and then she said " it should be bitter sweet" . Yes, she is right , life varies between bitter and sweet. It is never flat.

Just like alternating between happiness and sadness.  If there is happiness , then there is sweetness and this both sides of the coin.  If you flip the coin, it will land on the head or tail side and it cannot stand on its edge . Of course, we were taught of Buddha's middle path of neither happy or sad and if you can keep this thought , it will be marvellous.  That is why Buddha is a great teacher and he has achieved and realized it. How many of us can do it ? If they can, they will also become wiser and a great teacher.  I believe many people could have done it and have enjoy life to the fullest.

Is life to be this perfect way or bitter sweet ? It is a choice.  there is chinese saying " if you can  tolerate the bitter of the bitterest, you will be a leader among man " .  I believe this wisdom is to advise people to live through difficulties and suffering and in the end, they learn to be wiser and a better man.

To live a flat life or a bitter sweet life have its own merits and a personal choice of everyone. We want a happier life more than sadness but unfortunately, the more happy we are, we have to also to encounter a huge degree of bitterness . It is a corresponding  oppersite and unless , your mind is train to control your emotions asnd the downside of life.

Namaste.

On the way to work....

This morning, I woke up thinking that I must change my routine to freshen up myself and I did a simpler reshuffle of my routne after taking bath.  I could not change much as I have brush my teeth first then I take bath . I could not take bath first and brushed my teeth as it was took big a change and it was a bit illogical. I could not wear my uniform first before I wear my underwear or my shorts. So , the change can only be minimal.  I could eat my breakfast first before my bath but it took too much an effort having to go downstair to to it. It only happens on Saturday or Sunday or a public holiday.

I wonder how to change my routine to make my life more exciting . Can the small change in routine spike up my life ?

On the way to work, many thoughts went through my head as I drove on auto-pilot.  After so many years of driving , it has become an in build routine for me to drive without thinking or thinking of other things . My eyes have remained on focus but the thoughts flying in and out.

I wonder what I will do this weekend , going to KL on Thursday and coming back on saturday and what I will do when I retire from work. I will operate a morning English breakfast for my friends and offerred them discounts so that I can keep in touch with them. Through the weekend , I have met a few friends who is talking on imigrating to Australia and a mutual friend taking about taking a easier life.  Yeah, I met two friends over the weekend and this make me wonder how they are taking their life through the journey.

By no time, I have reach my office with these thoughts going through my head. It is just a routine and this process will continue to occupy my head and my thinking until the end. I have suddenly draw myself to the song " Beijing , Beijing by Wang Feng and one of the lyric says " I have been going through the streets with a heavy heart as I have laugh and cried during my stay there. One day , I hope I will be buried there and be forgotten ".

Namaste.

My God ! It is Friday

My God ! It is Friday

During my happy days , when it is Friday . I would cry out and yell " thank God it is Friday as I have two days of rest. Nowadays , when there is much things to do, we need more time and hope the day can pass by slower. It is really an irony in life as our needs change place.

I have always say that " one inch of time is worth one inch of gold but one inch of gold cannot buy one inch of time. It is true that time can be so precious when we need it.

The days are getting shorter as we struggle through life and as more responsibilities or things to get done. One week can be a day or a month can be a week.

For the young , they want to get older faster or the middle age wants time to move faster so that they earn more or be more successful but those in old age wants the day to be longer and the months to move slower. But length of time is the same in whichever age group but the feel of time is not the same for everyone.

God is fair but the needs and the wants makes the different for everyone. This awareness is very important for us to accept the facts of life.

Namaste

To live or living

There is a whole of difference between to live and living.  To live does not mean living.  Everyday of our life , we live and all in a routine. What is the difference between to live and living .

To live means to survive and to keep a life according to a routine. Without liking what we do, without passion or interest and just live for the sake of living. No meaning rather than to eat , sleep and keeping a live.

But living , is doing something we like , we appreciate all the moments and going through it with passion , interest and love.  We do not feel tired doing it and enjoy all the moments.

As a simple example, we eat rice to survive while we eat something we like in enjoying it and living is secondary. We don't just eat ot live but eat to enjoy and promote living. We enjoyed every moment while eating.  There is great difference between the two.

Most of the time, we eat things that is healthy and promote long life and sustaining life is the priority but eating things we like but if harmful  but enjoying , is this living ? Yes but to have a balance of both world or alternately can be much fulfilling.

Namaste.

The red sun

I have read a book long time ago and its' title is " the red sun". How can the sun be red ? It should be bright yellow in the blue sky.   So, when it is red color in a hazy sky, it spell trouble and the bad moon is again on the rise.

With the haze reaching a dangerous level when the Government have to close schools , it must a serious issue.  One of my friend told me that when he could not see 50 metres in the haze, the API reading sitll showing that we are still safe , something is really death wrong.  Where is all the transparency and acurracy ? Bull shit. That means the data is not correct at all.

With the red sun ,comes the red shirts and tomorrow there will be a rall of the red shirts in KL. What is it trying to show the people ? That they are stronger or bigger the bersih4 rally.  What kind of bull shit , these red shirts want to show.  If this rally is allow to continue, it will be one day , red shirt , the next day , yellow shirt and another day, a black shirt. Than , a multiple color shirt rally.... It is purely nonsense and dangerous .

Coming to reality , hopefully, the haze will chase all these red shirts away ... God have a way to tackle those explosive issues. 

The problem is the red color , make us all see red . There is a song called "black rain " and soon we will have a song called " red rain " which is more poisoneous than the black rain. 

There are so many nonsense in this world. Some are natural and some are man make. Where is the root of everyone ? If you cut below , the skin than all the colors is gone and everybody have same bloody flesh and is also all red.

Think wisely and don't make yourself arrogantly unwise.

Namaste.

Looking back in twilight

Looking back in twilight 

My past sixty years if broken up in phase would look pathetic.

The first twenty years of growing up and studies and another twenty years of working and married life and a twenty years of really living and sadly another remaining twenty years to unwind and layback to reap the benefits of my hardwork.

What is there more to be done? Life is like climbing up and down the mountain everyday. It is all a routine and just a series of activities. Finally , we are gradually moving to an end.  How , famous or how rich or how exciting our life have been , we have to end it one day. 

With life's aging process , we are mould to grow , become strong , age and become weaker and make peace with life and let go. Either we make it noisy and loud or leave quietly . Does it matters ? 

Be aware and be in know of the journey.

Namaste

learn from the past ,live into the future.

Nothing is static and fixed.  The past does not represent the future or determine the future.  Why do we need to follow the past or determine by our past. It is within us to change whether for better or worst.

Just like looking at an item or reading a message, it depends on our mind's condition and determine what we see or interprete what we read.  If we read with an angry mind , then all the messages we read will be negative and we will read it out with a negative tone.

This afternoon a friend called me and asked me why I am writing with an angry tone and I told her to change the color in her perception but she keeps telling me that the word is in black.  I explained to her that the color of the words is not important and is shee reading the words in red or blue.  If we see the words in red, then we will take it as an angry message but if it is blue, it will be positive for us. Furthermore, whether a word is hurtful or not, it depends on us,.

How we read the message is alos depends on our emotions ? Is there any conflict between the sender and reader. This experience will determine how we read the message after the conflict.  If we are still upset with the earlier message , we will read the subsequent message with the emotions which is still in us. Just in the case, the past determine the future.

If we read the same message a few days later, we will have a different emotion and perception, maybe from the color red to blue and from negative to positive.

Our whole life experience is like this case. It is how we interprete the words or see the item and our perception have everything to do with it but it is up to us to manage our re-actions.

Namaste.

I am in chittagong

After a 12 hours of traveling from Penang , I am now in Radisson Hotel, Chittagong , Bangladesh, a resort hotel in this god foresaken place.

The hotel have a moon shape swimming pool , looking up a moon shaped sky  It is a resort smacked right in the middle of Chittagong town surrounded by slum and shabby stalls lining the streets to this resort. It is just like going through a concrete jungle before landing in this haaven like resort.

It boast the best bar looking out in the city of Chittagong and at night , the lights in the city makes an impressive milky way of stars.  It has an Italian restuarant serving the fine dining Italian cruisine. A message center, a big gym , a few tennis courts  and a huge and spacious lobby. The rooms were big and clean. It is not a bad idea to just stay in the hotel and lazying around.

It is like a heaven in hell and there is huge disparity between this resort and its immediate surrounding.   This also illustrate the big gap between te rich and the poor. Money is not everything but money can do a lot of things and it can definitely cannot be without. However, enough is enough and too much is a greed and a waste of effort and time. Just remember too much is wasteful and little is not few.

It is a wonder , how much is enough ? It is left to better judgements.

Namaste

People's courage

When a person is faced with a serious problem , there are several options  ie chicken out , let the problem be there or take some positive action to tackle the problem. The recent Bersih4 is the result of a group of courageous fellas who take positive action to show their anger or displeasure.

I have told you above a story previously and I would like to say it again.

Once there were two mouse living in the same house . One day , the owner bought a cat home and upon seeing the cat , the mouse ran back into their hiding hole which is separated by a wall.  The cat upon seeing the mouse running into their own hole in the wall, choose to sit and stay at the holes. So, mouse A and mouse B could not get out of their holes as the cat will eat them if come out. But , as days goes by , both mouses were hungry, so mouse A make up its mind to run out despite being eaten by the cat.  so, while the cat is a sleep, mouse A ran out of its hole and live happily ever after. But ,mouse B keep waiting and waiting until it die of hunger in the hole not knowing that the cat has also died of some illness. This story show the courage of the cat A and choosing to stay fearful and trying to avoid danger could also kill you.

living with courage and doing the right thing and do not shy away from fear. As fear magnifest fear and making it like a demon in ourself.  So, be aware of the courage in yourself and face to face with your problem instead of hiding away.

Namaste.